Watching and Weighting

Eating humble pie....

2011-05-02T19:14:00.005+01:00

There comes a time in life where, on occasion, you have to man up and admit you were wrong. I HATE such occasions, but this past few days I have to admit I have been utterly slapped down ! :-)

Yesterday, a few of my ww buddies were on twitter, bemoaning the fact that they had only lost 0.5lbs at weight in etc etc.....there ensued a debate which kinda went as follows....

*Top UK PT* Ditch the scales!
*Me* They're fine as PART of your arsenal to measure progress
*Top UK PT* They're inaccurate and many factors affect reading! Go to the loo and then weigh in!
*Me* As long as they're used sensibly and as a controlled experiement then surely they're ok!
*Top UK PT* As you well know they can encourage an unhealthy dependency. Use clothes to measure your progress

This made me think. About how clothes can be JUST as fickle as the scales. You know those old reliable jeans that are your 'go to' ?? Well, on a 'fat' day, they're just as likely to indicate a 'gain' as the the scales are! I then planned a whole chuffing blog post exposing this fact and feeling VERY smug about myself.

And then...........

today is a Bank Holiday here in the UK, so Rich and I decided to go out to play in the beautiful sunshine we've been having. Getting ready, I grabbed a pair of shorts which I was triumphant to 'get bakc into' this time last year, just to see if they fit .......bearing in mind all the b*tching I have been doing of late at myself because I feel like I've gained weight. Tried them on. And below is the result.

Massively too big. As in can't-wear-them-without-indecent-exposure-too-big.....Error.

See, I've been consistently(unfavourably) comparing my physique to 'this time last May' when, looking back, I felt much more lean and honed and toned, and I WAS LIGHTER ON THE SCALES ! This year, I am heavier.....however, a quick check back through facebook shows me quite clearly WEARING these same shorts on holiday with my girlfriends, cartwheeling along the beach in them, in fact, so they absolutely fitted me and - more to the point - stayed up this tie last year. SO. Moral of the sory is, YES I may be heavier BUT once again the CLOTHEs have proven to be the best gauge of progress, because I am quite clearly smaller tham I was this time last year.

And whilst, in the grand scheme of things, none of this matters one iota, the moral of the story is that I could either be really down about the fact I am heavier (according to scales) than last year and feel sh*t about myself and take a train straight to self pity city and moan about undoing all my hard work and giving in and slacking off and being a crap example etc etc OR I can go with the indisputable evidence of that pair of shorts and feeel all of a sudden on top of the world like I can do ANYTHING and rejoice in the fact that my body HAS changed....seemingly for the better.

SO, in conclusion, I must eat humble pie. The scales are categorically NOT the best measure of progress. In fact they mess with my mind. I knew this....I of all people knew this...but I reeeeeally and truly thought I had a handle on it. Turns out - not so much.

So yet again,Mark, you were right. I will TRY and ignore the scales (again!!!) and continue trying to measure what I deem to be 'progress' in this way. I am totes glad you're in my life ! (annoying though it is to be once again proven wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Ditch the scales people (she admits, begrudgingly !!!!!!!!)

Love Lizzie xoxo

BodyFitBootCamp

2011-04-25T14:23:00.003+01:00

Hey peeps,

Soooo....guess what I've been up to?! Getting my very first, bona fide, fitness business venture off the ground THAT'S WHAT!!!!

How good is that?! Check it out here! My friend and mentor, Mr Mark Raynsford is the Director of BodyFitBootCamp in Surrey. I don't know if I ever told you about my little running club that's been operating since January this year, with the aim of helping women who might otherwise be intimidated by gyms and the like, to learn to run in a fun environment, with likeminded people. Well, it's been going great guns but was starting to need something else to develop it. Through various chats on twitter and with Mark, an idea began to take shape of actually turning my running club into a boot camp !

Fast forward a few weeks and here we are !!!!!!!! It's all happened so fast and I am so buzzing! it's GREAT to be doing something I love, motivating people who want to make fat loss and fitness changes in their lives, and getting paid for it!

Our sessions last for about 45 minutes and we work HARD! No equipment, all bodyweight exercises and a bloody good laugh while we're doing it !

I am so grateful to Mark for this opportunity - it's well exciting! I am loving seeing the enthusiasm in the members as they see results and get all passionate about training and eating right. IT IS GREAT !

So that's where I've been ! How we doin, blogland?!

Love Lizzie xoxo

#FoodFail

2011-04-10T13:17:00.003+01:00

Bonjour mesdames et messieurs...

Sunday again eh? How DOES that happen?! Quick update.

There's a part of me that is loathe to 'fess up the following to you....but I need to! Just because I am a CBT and future PT doesn't preclude me from slipping.....so here goes.....

I had a truly terrible week last week - food wise. Did not workout one single iota (oh, apart from a mega guilt induced far too long cortisol through the roof run on Monday) and ate utter sh*te all week. Yesterday I went out to Liverpool for a friend's birthday and for the first time since Feb 2010 or thereabouts, I felt reeeeeeallllly uncomfortable in my clothes. Getting ready & picking an outfit was a total nightmare, nothing fitted, or hung right, or looked good. Just like the old days. Cue self-loathing. A week of stress meant troffing pretty much what I liked (so, bread...also cake...also not really cooking properly) and having wine on school nights, and having reeeeally pants sleep and not working out has all taken its toll on my poor little bod.

That feeling of 'uncomfortable' was an odd one. Once so familiar and yet now so alien, it was weird to be back there. A timely reminder though. I hated it. I'm not perfect. I still struggle from time to time. Ok so it's not major binge-eating or the dreaded binge-purge subtype but for me, it's a struggle. And almost certainly stress-related. But I was reminded (again) of what I've changed in my life, where I want to be, and yes the body I still want - as in that whichI am yet to have - and mostly, of how much I DO NOT want ever to go back 'there.'

So, how do you pull yourself out of the hole?

1. TELL SOMEONE - accountability is everything. Choose someone to tell who will not let you get away with it, won't collude with you, will hold you accountable and ask the tough questions, all without judging! Tall order, but we all have those people in our lives. Be honest with them!

2. SET A TIME LIMIT - For me, it was a week. I was knackered. Defences were low. Did not AT ALL feel like working out. So I didn't. Every time I made a less than perfect or out of the norm food choice, I reminded myself that on Saturday this would stop. This helped me to cope in the short term with the damage I was doing and the ensuing guilt. It also mentally prepared me for getting back 'on it' when my time limit ran out.

3. TAKE NOTE - Journal it, tweet it, blog it, - whatever works for you, however you keep track of your thoughts and progress. Record HOW you feel in the midst of an 'off' period, record WHY you're experiencing it (if reasons are known). For me it helped to stop and jot down precisely how I felt when I woke up at 3am with heart burn because I'd eaten pizza at ten o' clock at night! What a div ! When I was fat I used to get that all the time - haven't had it for 2 years...it was a shock to be woken up by it...and then not to be able to sleep for ages, thus waking up knackered and cross, less able to 'cope' with life and less motivated to yank myself out of the hole, more likely to make stupid food choices and steer clear of working out....and then being ensnared in a vicious cycle of the same.....groundhog day anyone?

4. TAKE ACTION - Rather than dwelling on the negative - the above - use it to turn to a positive advantage. As well as noting the HOW and WHY make sure you ACTION PLAN - the WHAT and WHEN ! What will you do to stop? Plan in your next workout - make yourself accountable for that, tell someone your plan. Do a healthy food shop. Get rid of the crap. Don't carry cash when you go past the tempting food places. Make it harder for yourself to give in. Change your route home. Do all of the above! And the 'when' is the time limit spoken about above.

So, for me, this week. I have complied with my time limit. I did a gym free kettlebell workshop in the garden yesterday along with bodyweight workout. I ate healthily and limited my alcohol intake despite a night in town AND a dinner out. A healthy food shop has been done, meals are thought through for the week and workouts factored in.

All in all I'm setting myself up to succeed. Keep me accountable, won't you?

Love Lizzie xoxo

Tiredness SUCKS!

2011-04-06T12:38:00.002+01:00

I am currently knackered. A combo of crappy sleep, not enough sleep, doing too much, training too hard and all the stress of the past couple of weeks has taken its toll a bit! It also means I am making reeeeally crappy food choices because I'm tired and therefore less inclined to care, or worry about consequances, so it's hard to be motivated which then perpetuates into a deeeeelightful vicious cycle of eating nonsense. Not a good advert ! SO. From today, I am pulling it back. I took action last night: a self-imposed social media blackout, stopped working and 'doing' at 9pm, ate a properly cooked, sensible dinner, had a bath, slapped on the old trans-dermal magnesium spray, read last Sunday's Times and was fast asleep by 10pm. Awoke before my alarm at 6:40am feeling refreshed and ready to rock! As a result, have been far more productive today AND have clawed it back food wise. Breakfast - half a lemon in hot water, 2 boiled eggs and 2 slices rye toast Mid-morning - grapes, pineapple and almonds Lunch - falafel, hummus, and a big ol' salad with chilli and coriander 2L water by midday and 3 cups peppermint tea. No idea what dinner will be yet but this afternoon I have a banana and a home-made protein bounceball so I can go workout after work. I can't wait ! Energy levels are soaring!!!! Have a great day people! Lizzie xoxo

So.......food !

2011-04-04T10:05:00.005+01:00

Let's face it, kinda the raison d'etre for this here blog. You've seen my journey with food...from the not so good early stages to rockin' the ww plan through the weight loss to finally getting to goal and the central theme to all this madness has been food.

Food. Simultaneously my archemeny and BFF. I have always had a nutty relationship with it. Enter WW stage left! For the first time in my life I had something that worked. It encouraged and enabled me to eat healthily, sensibly and without crazy 'weightloss' techniques....and I may as well be honest, the fact that there were rules was one of its biggest appeals...I like control and parameters to work with ! I adapted quickly to the ww way of eating and it suited me down to the ground. The weight started to come off and eventually I got to goal. Remember this was the 2nd time I had done ww. Remember the ill-fated 23lbs lost in 20 weeks attempt of 2006?! Yeh well. Less said about that the better BUT the main difference between my 2009 attempt compared with 2006 was the change in what I ate. 2006 Liz was all about the 100 calorie snack packs, low fat, reduced fat, light, lite, diet coke drinking 18 points a day. The 2009 version saw me trying to eat 'cleaner' - favouring the 'Filling Foods' and even when ww scrapped the Points system and brought out PROpoints in Nov 2010, I was still able to rock it because of their fabulous 'Simply Filling' version of the PROpoints plan.(Like 'Core Plan' for the old school amongst you!) This helped me to begin to move away from counting points every day - I'll admit that going from 18 to 29 each day freaked me out a tad - and I began to ponder on life after ww. The therapist in me wanted to challenge my reliance upon counting and tracking. A perfectly good technique to have and practice and use on a daily basis. BUT does it teach us to change our behaviours and attitudes towards food? Or is it a means of applying a modicum of control to said behaviours and attitudes?

I began thinking about what I wanted after goal. I'd got to a point where I was tracking ever so carefully and eating ever so perfectly during the week and then would go mental each weekend eatign and drinking pretty much what I liked. (Ah, remember the days when a bottle of wine was 7.5 points !! ;-) ). This became a pattern and although I had hit goal and then some, I think that my health was not the driving concern. Weight loss was. I was weighing in every week and riding a wave of 2lbs on, 2lbs off - week in, week out - all within my goal range so for all ww intents and purposes it didnt matter but how I felt was becoming an issue. I was also training like a demon (circa summer 2010) and as such, this was the control mechanism for the crazy weekends. Eat sensibly in the week, track, no bread, no wine etc etc....go bonkers at weekends but "it's ok because I can train like a loon in the week to claw it back, and ensure a weightloss on the scales on Saturday" Damage Limitation diet. In the and my weight hit a plateau and I was knackered because of all the training I was doing with sooooo the wrong fuel in the machine!

Something had to change!

At the beginning of this year I left ww - essentially because of the pt course I'm doing and time factor. This coincided with getting involved with the twitter community I've mentioned previously. As often happens in life, a timely intervention has sent me down a whole new path in life, in many ways, too numerous to mention, but specifically for the purposes of this blog, in terms of food.

January 2011. Operation #ditchthescale. Those 2 PT types (again, aforementioned) whom I have got to know and greatly respect, began a campaign of merciless yet good natured ribbing to get me to ditch the scales. The idea being that I needed to look to body shape and health as a means of gauging progress rather than being fixated with figure on the scale. Not one to back away from a challenge, I embraced it wholeheartedly and went without weighing myself for February. At this time I also discovered this forum which has proven to be a great resource for the 'new direction' I've taken food wise.

So what is it? Well. Let me tell you. Basic premise? "Eat Natural to Look Natural" Well, duh! I hear you, I hear you. But let's think about this for a sec! Even when I first began reading about 'clean eating', I was still very much on the 'sugar free/low fat' vibe, under the impression that because it's lower in fat and/or sugar, it must therefore be healthier. WRONG-O! So what does that mean?

Embrace the good fats.

*Cue mind meltdown*

Here's the lowdown, no point me regurgitating it here, but suffice it to say this has been one hell of a learning curve. The very fact of 'unlearning' all those 'healthy eating' habits has been a huge challenge...never mind the *actual* doing of it!

Some of the highlights include:-

* Ditching low fat hummus, cottage cheese, Greek yoghurt, etc in favour of full fat - You know what? tastes about a million times better AND is better for me. I still have a massively hard time reprogramming my mind to reach for the full fat rather than the low, but it does stand to reason that 200g of full fat hummus and 200g of low fat hummus is still 200g....so, what do they ADD to the lower fat version to make it weigh the same? Answer: Sugar, fillers, artificial sweeteners, in short, all kindsa crap. Frankly, I'd rather go full fat.....*gulp* I can't believe I just said that !

*Ditching the diet coke - I didn't drink this a lot at all...in fact I think Christmas was probs the last time, but I do recall the ww journey first time round I used this a lot to surpress my appetite, under the impression that it was a healthy choice because it was sugar free.

*And related to the above - caffeine - DAMN this was hard ! You know me - I looooove my lattes.....and even though I am a 'grandesingleshotskinnylatte' kinda gal, it's still caffeine and still milk....so I went cold turkey on caffeine's ass for a month. Dear GOD the withdrawal headaches! Remind me never to do any Class A's - I wouldn't be able to cope with the come down ! (JOKE!!). The thing I found hardest was not starting each day with that all important cuppa (English Breakfast Tea just FYI American pals!!) but I have slowly weaned myself off it and now look forward to green tea. I know! MAD! More importantly, I am at the stage of the plan where I can reintroduce certain things, like the odd latte. What I have found is that my taste for it has changed. I don't want it so much anymore and it's taken its rightful place in the 'once in a while' treat drawer!

*Bread - This was a biggie!! I only ever ate bread at weekends, as a treat, but it was always something I soooo looked forward to, would then go crazy with and then be left feeling, well, pregnant with air and. Fact is, wheat and gluten pretty much sucks & it's really hard for our bods to get to grips with it and use it for anything massively worthwhile. So, rye bread it is. I have battled with this....soooooooooooooo an acquired taste!But you know what? It's ok. And it doesn't leave me bloated to high heaven! Same also goes for spelt products like spelt pasta....working on this one, I don't 'do' a lotta carbs, so this is a new challenge!

*Water - Since I bought that Sigg bottle a year or so ago I have been reeeeeally good with hydration levels - knocking back 3 or so litres a day of filtered (not tap) water - so I've just carried this on - but I wanted to mention it here because it's fundamental to what I am trying to achieve. Some have even described it as 'lifeblood'....

*"If it lived or has been grown - eat it!" - The 'catch-all'...suddenly a whole lot more is on the menu than before. All natural, all good for us.

There's loooooads more I could say but I think I'll leave it there for tonight!

Love, Lizzie xoxo

A little perspective.....

2011-04-01T09:36:00.002+01:00

This morning on the way to work I was confronted head on with an entirely unpleasant blast from the past. I'll spare you the details of what/when/who/why but suffice it to say the typical reaction for me when faced with this particular occurrence on the mercifully rare occasions it happens, would be one of blind panic, definitely 'flight' rather than 'fight' and more often than not crazy puking and the triggering of major restrictive eating for a while after. Today, however, as I sat on that train, panicking, it suddenly occurred to me that I'm not the same person anymore. "The old has gone...the new has come"...I can choose for myself now, how I react in any given situation. I am not controlled by negative thoughts or behaviours, and certainly not by another individual. I was faced with a choice. In the end, I did get off the train a stop too early. But in a calm, controlled way. Not rushing, or panicking or - I am pleased to report - throwing up ! Squared shoulders, standing tall. A few calming yoga breaths on the short walk to the office and a quick 'mind game' and all was once more right with the world. Furthermore, I sat down at my desk and ate my planned breakfast of strawberries, grapes, banana and apple with porridge oats, almonds and greek yoghurt....no crazy eating patterns for me thank you very much ! POSITIVE CHANGES ! With clients I ask them all the time to practice the technique of being able to recall at a moment's notice 5 things that have changed for the better, or that they are proud of, pleased with, know to be different about themselves - progress points, if you will. Today, confronted with that situation, this little exercise served to strengthen me. It helped me realise what I have achieved: personally, professionally, in life and where I am going, who I am and who I am not any longer! In no particular order... 1) I am confident in who I am 2) I am content with my life in the here and now 3) I am no longer trapped by my own body or mind, by restriction or by being overweight 4) I have done things I never thought myself capable of 5) I am happy So there you go. Give it a try. It really does help! Shift your perspective onto the positives and you can't go far wrong. I tweeted this this morning, hence the blog post.... " @lixwall Sometimes you're faced with an experience you'd rather forget...use it as a marker for how far you've come, how changed you are #positivity " So go on, tell me ! What are your 5 things ! Comment or tweet !

Guess who ????!!!!!!

2011-03-29T11:25:00.002+01:00

Hello dear blogland!! It's ME! I am still alive ! Sincere and heartfelt apologies for abandoning you...I didn't mean to take a hiatus! Suffice it to say I have undergone something of a transformation these past few months. In a GOOD way! All part of the plan to be less focused on self and more looking outward. All about the next challenge. The next phase of life. It all began with Twitter, funnily enough! One extremely hungover Sunday morning in January I was idly scrolling through Twitter when I happened upon @inkilterfitness aka Stuart Amory who had set his followers a challenge for January which was not to drink alcohol. I figured it was probs a good idea to get involved and so I did! Over the next few weeks I noticed little motivational tweets from Stu here and there, spurring us all on, encouraging us to stick with the challenge and publish results. This was when the penny dropped as to what twitter is all about! Also during aforementioned hungover Sunday, I was also 'tweeted' by @markpt aka Mark Raynsford who recommended a vile concoction to restore my poor dehydrated body after poisoning it with wine. It worked a treat! So I started following him as well. Cue the beginnings of endless banter, merciless teasing, great friendship and a whole lotta learning! Long story short, there is a pretty amazing pt community firmly establishing itself in twitter land, and with all my aspirations in that direction I am loving all that I am learning from these people. Sometimes in life, connections with people just grab you and impact your life in a myriad of ways. It's weird. But also cool ! So, over the past 2 months I have..... 1. Maintained my weight (and lost a little bit more) and been at my ww goal for a year! yep - 14th Feb was the day! How cool is that ! 2. Made MANY adaptations to the way I eat (more on this later) 3. Changed the way I workout - or at least, I am on the way to changing it! 4. Qualified at the first level of my pt course ! 5. Got myself a mentor for all things pt 6. Made some very exciting connections in the fitness industry and 7. Hatched some very exciting plans for the not too distant future!! So, I'm back and ready to blog ! Thanks for not abandoning me !! Love, Liz xoxo

Twitter.....

2011-01-14T10:10:00.001Z

.....I've been on it for a while but have only just begun to use it properly! I think I love it even more than facebook!!

Feel free to follow me

@lixwall

www.twitter.com/lixwall

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

love Lizzie xoxox

A year ago today.......

2011-01-13T12:27:00.003Z

....I ran my first ever 10k distance! It was on the treadmill at my gym and took me 72 minutes. I was SO PLEASED with myself and absolutely BUZZING that my body could DO THAT!! Guess what? It didn't kill me, I didn't hurt too much afterwards, it was truly amazing! All it did was give me a greater passion for running - shortly after I made the transition to running outside and now I cannot imagine my life without being able to just head out for a run! It was a few weeks before I hit my ww goal too and I am certain the extra push activity-wise contributed to actually getting to goal. AWESOME.

I now run 10k in 50 minutes...and sometimes under! Who knew THAT would happen in a year?!!

When it feels tough and you can't be arsed, have a think back to what you have achieved. We do some pretty amazing things on our individual and combined health and fitness journeys y'know!!

Have a great day!

Love Lizzie xoxoxox

Happy New Year!

2011-01-12T10:16:00.000Z

Happy 2011 peeps! I realise I am a tad late to the party but it has taken me till now to get back in the swing of things! I am very excited about this new year + as such am not gonna do a massive retrospective on 2010. Suffice it to say that I had a great year of getting to goal, changing my body, dramatically increasing my fitness + above all else getting HEALTHY. I had a massive NSV of appearing on stage half naked and in short I further revolutionised my life and my outlook thereon.

This year is all about being outward looking. I took a year to focus on myself in 2010. Now it's all about putting it out there. For this is the year I will qualify as a pt! Me. A bona fide health + fitness professional! And health is my aim and overriding objective. Not weight loss this year, but continued health and fitness + my own personal aim to be the best me I can be.

I'm really excited! It means lots of changes but rather than freak out it's much easier just to embrace it. More on all that later but I just wanted to check in + say hello!

How you all doing? What's your aim for the year?

Heaps of love

Lizzie xoxoxo
------------------

MeRrY ChRiStMaS!!!!

2010-12-23T11:48:00.003Z

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas indeed, and a truly happy, healthy & prosperous 2011!

Thank you for all your love, support, comments, emails, tweets and facebooking this year. You really are wonderful and this blog is so much a part of my continued success with the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle....Couldn't do it without you!!!! Lots of love to you all, Lizzie xoxo

The ballet world is a-buzz!

2010-12-15T14:14:00.002Z

Oooh! Go read this! From the lovely Charlotte. I won't recreate the post here (she + her readers I am sure will say it all!)but I am most definitely formulating some thoughts about this! Most probably ones that will be contrary to popular belief! I cannot wait to see the film in and of itself, never mind all the hoopla that is sure to surround it!

Too bad it's not out here till January.....

Lizzie xoxo

Pain in the neck...

2010-12-13T16:24:00.002Z

Quite literally!

Please bear with me folks! What is it with me, December and flipping injuries!? Just when the season of eating is upon us and I aim to rely on my carefully honed gym attendance and running skillz, I am afflicted with a horrid injury. Last year was the debacle of ITB and this year is all about the neck! I have had a niggling neck pain for a little over a week now and despite using copious amounts of ibuprofen & Deep Heat it is showing no signs of abating. I cannot get comfortable when I sleep - so much so that I have been relegated to the spare room because the husband cannot function on so little sleep! It's fine when I am moving but all of a sudden when I sit still a wave of pain coems over me. Apparently, this is a muscle spasm.

I went to the GP this morning who firstly suggested I fashion a neck brace out of several sheets of newspaper and 'one of your mother's silk scarves'. Yes, apparently, I went to the Doctor's in the 1950's today, so that was nice. What a quack. He did, however, give me some super duper pain killers and some super strength deep heat and recommend physiotherapy, which is paid for by the nhs HURRAH, so the referral has gone in. I am booked in for a sports massage on Weds should the muscle relax enough to actually be manipulated. At present, my right shoulder is higher than the left. Delightful. So we shall see. Hopefully the painkillers will do the trick. I couldn't work out all weekend so I anticipate the twitchy legs and crippling paranoia about weight gain will kick in soon.

BLOODY BUGGERY BUMS. (sorry)

Madly, in my head I actually considered going to the gym this evening. I don't think I'll get away with BodyPump.....but I am NOT becoming enslaved to the stupid recumbent bike again....think I might wait till Weds, see what Mr PT has to say and then go from there.

I am in a foul mood. I reeeeeeeeally suck as a patient.

I'd better go..... there's a tennis ball with my name on it that I need to do some self mfr with. Oh the glamour!

Hope you're all well!!!

Love Lizzie xoxo

I am having an affair.....there, I said it!

2010-11-23T10:44:00.003Z

...with this..... ;-)

Yes peeps, I am in love with a foam roller.

Nobody panic, I have not taken leave of my senses. I am merely trying to communicate to you my new-found adoration for this weird piece of equipment. They say that there's a fine line between pleasure and pain. It's my belief that whoever coined that phrase was, at the time, foam rollering his or her iliotibial band.

At the gym t'other day, I was having a post interval sprint gasp, er..chat, with one of the gym bods who is a lovely chap, all of 20 years old, with a real passion for running and helping people to train correctly. We often have chats - he's taught me to do a proper pull up. He asked if I'd seen the new piece of equipment. I cast my eyes around the room expecting a new treadmill or (God forbid) another bloody PowerPlate (Yes, I do think they're for lazy people. What of it?!) but nooooo....couldn't see anything. We walked over to the stretching area. And lo and behold, there it was. Martin presented the roller to me as proudly as a new dad showing off his offspring. I was deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelighted!

I have heard about these foam rollery things and used one on occasion when I could get my hands on one (believe it or not, relatively new phenomenon in the UK - usually only available from verrrrrry expensivo physio shops....PTL for amazon.co.uk!) - especially this time last year when I had that sucky injury to my hip flexors caused by a too tight ITB. So needless to say, I was eager to get involved! I have had a few really disappointing training sessions lately and a lot of leg fatigue so I was quite excited to rejuvenate the old pins! (Taken longer to recover from the Hell Runner than I thought, and longer to get the miles back in my legs *sad face*)

You know that (other) old saying: 'Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen'?? Well this is how I reckon the foam roller feels about me. (Just go with me on this...)...because it REALLY BLOODY HURTS when you use it but afterwards, you're left with such release that you can't help but go back for more the next time.....

And therein lies my problem. I am hopelessly addicted to it. I've hogged it after every run or sprint session I've done since and my legs definitely feel 'looser' and more quickly recovered after training, particularly as I begin to get back into the swing of things after slacking a bit. Most def feeling the benefits. Nowt wrong with that. No one else seems to want to use it. Job's a good'un!

However.

I have a *slight* issue I need to bring to your atttention.

How on earth does one accurately and effectively use the foam roller without (a) yelling loud expletives, (b) groaning and moaning (c) looking/sounding like you're auditioning to be in a porn film??

(Personally, I think the answer is buy one and use it at home....preferably when no one else is around...and believe you me, it's at the top of my Christmas list!) BUT at the gym, what is the correct etiquette? Do you grin and bear it or just let the pain out?!

I was literally having fits of giggles as I worked on my legs imagining (a) what I must look like to everyone else, and (b) what I must have sounded like! Imagine surpressing a scream akin to the scream you emit when you get a sports massage and have an elbow unceremoniously jabbed in your glutes.....I am not a quiet subject when I get massaged so I can only imagine what I sounded like! HAHAHA! I drew some funny looks, let me tell you! Nor am I particularly given to ever using the f word. Apparently this is not true where foam rollers (or massage, as it happens) are concerned. Oopsie.

Remember the secen in 'Friends' when Phoebe accuses Monica of making sex noises when she gets massaged? That's how I imagine I sounded to people...which only made me laugh even more.

So, I don't know what the answer is but boy am I glad my gym invested in one.

( - As a brief aside, yes there is just one. That means other people have used it. Which makes me feel slightly ill. I am trying to get over it.)

Here's to 'loose legs' and better running!

lovelove

Lizzie xoxo

*EDIT*

Here's a link for youtube demo of foam rollering - not of me doing it, I hasten to add!!

Hell Runner Up North 2010 edited

2010-11-10T14:48:00.004Z

Hello! I SURVIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Runner was absolutely FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC! I LOVED it! Don't get me wrong, it was hard work but wow what a feeling! I am so very glad I ran those ten miles last Thursday night in torrential rain and howling gales! The course was like nothing we'd expected. 10 miles, sure, but the HILLS - ohhh the hills! Craziest inclines, up and down, repeat ad nauseaum. 2 bogs in total, so as soon as you'd dried off from one you were plunged into the next. There were points where you couldn't actually run because the terrain was so steep it involved literally hand over hand climbing up roots and then sliding down the other side. There were points when I felt as if I was in the Army!! Thank the Lord the weather was beautiful!

Anyhoo, with all the bottle necks and waiting for dithering people to get in the bog, Chris + I finished it in 2:08, which is a bit longer than we'd have liked BUT it's very tricky to actually run at speed in ankle deep mud - not an altogether suitable terrain for my poor old knee! Kept feeling it twinge as if it were going to pop out again! *retches*

I've added a few pics from the event photographer so you can get an idea.

I am so proud of myself for doing this!

I must still be jacked up on endorphins because I just signed up for the Liverpool Half Marathon. GAH! So I guess running is going to be a big focus for my training for the next little while! YIKES!!!!

Chris + I at the end of the race covered in bog.

My sprint finish! I beat my pt by 1 second hahaha! (he so totally would have finished quicker if it weren't for my slow ass running - what a gent!)

Not too sure about the Bog of Doom

Go PT goooooo!!!

Absolutely LOVING it!

So, whaddaya think??!! Isn't it great that by having lost weight and living healthily we can tame our bodies so that they perform for us in this way? Life is good!

LOVELOVE

Lizzie xoxox

************************************************************************************

Due to popular demand, (well Charlotte asked) , this is how the race went.

Context

The longest I have ever run up to this race was 11k. Having lost 50lbs and trained with a professional, I now run a pretty decent (for me) 20 minute 5k and a 49 minute 10k, so I am fit-ish BUT have never pushed myself with distance. Add to this the fact that I have been in the show and thus have not had tremendous amounts of time or mind space to devote to this. So it was kind of a leap of faith. Plus I am extremely competitive. And easily goaded into things and whilst, generally speaking, my pt Chris is an all-round nice fellow, he does know how to push my buttons. He called me chicken. So I entered. Stupid - yes I know. We agreed to run it together, he promised not to bomb off like a mad thing, and we'd support (read 'drag') each other round.

Our schedules are sooooooooo different that despite living in the same neighbourhood we did not manage to do ONE SINGLE SOLITARY training run together.

I began to panic.

Last week I ran 4 miles and simply could not go on, I had a sore throat and was a human snot machine. Nice. Plus, I slept funny on my neck so my head was at a permanent angle for 3 days.

I began to have doubts.

I called him on Tuesday to make the decision. He talked me into it. He suggested I get a long run in before Sunday. Wednesday I was at audition workshops for Guys + Dolls so Thursday it had to be and then 2 days of absolute rest! Not a smart way to train for the longest, most demanding race you've ever yet done...note to self.

Thursday evening I was determined I would get out there. So obviously it was the coldest, wettest, most torrential rain + howling gales night of the year so far. I donned that glow in the dark running jacket and trusty Primarni head band and off I went. And I ran, And ran. And ran. Ten miles. I just got out and pushed myself. It took me an hour and a half but I bloody well did it.

(and then I had a 'proper whitey' as my sister would say, threw up and had the maaaajor squits, but that's another story)

I was ready.

Race Day

I was up at 6am. I ate 40g of steel cut porridge oats with skim milk + drank tea whilst repeating 'Just another day. Just another normal day' and 'I am going to Delamere Forest to look at Christmas trees'.

It didn't seem to work.

Chris and Mark picked me up at 8am sharp. (Mark is another guy from the studio who is, like, a proper athlete (and ran Hellrunner in 1 hour 14 minutes!).

You kinda drive through the forest to get to the carpark - it's like a mahoosive country park in Cheshire near Frodsham and so we could catch glimpses of course markers - y'know, those ominous dayglo background, black arrows that show you the way to go. We glimpsed some hills and some bogs......and all of a sudden it dawned on us. We were actually doing it!

(insert expletive here)

Fast forward to the start. 10am - the elite athlete's (Mark amongst them) dashed off. We set off at 10:20am. 'Resist the temptation to sprint' were Chris' wise-words. HAH! Couldn't have sprinted if I'd tried. The first section of the run was up a bloody hill! Imagine setting your treadmill on the highest incline and trying to run on it and then you have some idea of what I was faced with. After 2.5 miles of hills...yes....down and up, down and up and finally, mercifully down, we hit the proper trails, under tree cover, through the actual forest. I was feeling good, my breathing was good, energy levels good, wasn't knackered and the ground was firm so I could keep a steady pace - ie do 'real' running instead of the stop/start hills section. Familiar territory so we picked up our pace and overtook some people, the crowd thinned out which was helpful.

Then it got muddier.

In 2003 I suffered a pretty catastrophic (for anyone, let alone a ballet dancer) lateral dislocation fo the left patella. Whilst on a trampoline in a PE class. Error. My poor old knee has (obv!) never been the same since. (K)Needless to say it does not do well on unstable ground. Hello running in ankle deep thick, slimy, slippy, squelchy mud. Not ideal. I literally had to 'trot' for these bits, without any kind of pace because, well, I could feel my knee 'shifting' which is ususally a pretty good indicator of impending dislocation, and I did not want to have to pop it back in and hobble round the next 8 miles.....so this slowed me (us!) down. Chris dutifully hung out with me.

Then came the bog.

All I remember thinking is "OMG it's soooo not that BAD!!!!' - then I jumped in. Up to my waist. The bog bit kinda did my head in, I was most excited about this. I wanted to prove my mettle. Bu there were crowds of bloody dithering (sorry!) women on the bank having major stresses about getting their fricking trainers dirty. GAH! Click on ladies! You KNEW what you were entering. So female ditherers also slowed us down!

The other side of the bog I had no idea how far we'd gone - because there's so much mud we didnt take our Garmins, and there are NO MILE MARKERS for the whole race. I know. Stress!

So anyway. There was a bit of a trail run more, a quick water stop (I hope they recycled!) and then a sharp right turn back into the forest. The weather, though chilly, was beautifully sunny - great running conditions, and the scenery was gorgeous. The overall ambience of this race is F-U-N! I recall at this point feeling overwhelmed with gratitude that I CAN DO THIS and enjoy it and it's fun for me and I know my life is better because of it. (Hello drunk on endorphins!)

Then it was time for 'The Hills of Hell'

Great.

They weren't kidding. Here the running stopped and the climbing began. Literally hand-over-hand, reach out and grab a root and try to find a steady foothold in the mud oozing down the embankment. Chris, who is evidently part mountain goat, bounded up them like nobody's business, so of course I followed suit....competitive? moi? nooooooooooo!

Once up the steep bank, you had to get down.Cue running so fast your legs might come off whilst being propelled by (pulled by?) gravity towards the bottom of the incline at a rather rapid rate of knots. Scary.

And repeat.

Numerous times.

By this time I was starting to flag. A cheery 'How're your energy levels?!' from Mr PT himself nearly caused me to drown him in a bog. I was lagging. This was when I began to understand the appeal of...TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA....gels!

Rewind back to the beginning of the race. Chris hands me two 'gels' - I didn't know what they were! Sure, I had heard about them but i ran 10 miles the other night without even a water bottle so why would I need gels now?! Plus, HOW MANY CALORIES must there be in them???!!*cue hyperventilation*

Also (rant alert) NIKE pleeeeeeeeeeeease make women's running shorts with zip pockets in to accommodate such things instead of that ridiculous little ipod pouch !

So anyways, Chris suggested I have a gel at this point. On account of having no pockets I had had to keep them between my boobs in my sports bra which having no boobs nowadays, is pretty easily done. SO by the time I came to eat it (drink it? consume it?) it was warm. Bleuch. Warm, runny, vaguely orange falvoured gunk, the consistency of phlegm. *vomits*.

I kept it down and patiently jogged waiting for it to kick in, not really knowing what to expect (sceptical? moi?!). And then....all of a sudden....WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!! I felt like I was on drugs (not that i know what that is like but how i imagine!) GORDON BENNETT!

I was racing up those hills like nobody's business, doing my best impression of a mountain goat without a care in the world! AMAAAAAAAAZING!

And then we reached the bog of Doooooooooooooooooooom.....

It was not fun. I may have started a mud fight. freezing cold, thigh high (and, as it happened, waist high) thick, gloopy, wet, foul smelling MUD. To wade through. For about ten minutes. Clambering over roots, trees, people, you get the idea. I LOVED IT!

And THEN getting out, covered in it and shoes filled with water and having to run the remaining whatever-it-was (i'd lost count) back up over the hill to the start. About 2 minutes before the end i almost lost the will to live and chris uttered the immortal line ' do i ahve to get all pt on your ass?' and that kicked me into a sprint finish, completely buggering up his plans of us crossing the line together! Hahaha! (see pic above)

We collected our excellent goody bags and headed home.

(About an hour after I got home I had THE WORST diarrhoea imaginable. Bloody carb gels.)

And that, my friends, was the race!

Hell Runner

2010-11-07T07:36:00.001Z

It's Sunday morning. 6:30am. I am just about to set off for Delamere Forest in Cheshire, along with my pt, some other guys from our studio + 1500 other nutters to take part in the annual Hell Run. Might be 10 miles, might be 12. Definitely off road, definitely hilly, definitely wet, definitely muddy. Oh, and there's something called the "Bog of Doom".........

.....I'll keep you posted! Wish me luck! Eeeeek!!!!

www.hellrunner.co.uk

Lizzie xoxo
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Update

2010-11-03T10:22:00.005Z

Hello chums! What an age it's taken me to update this blog! Shocking behaviour. Memo to me - must do better! Now then. What's new in my world? Allow me to update...

#1 See below - some pictures from the show I was in - I braved the costume and (in my humble opinion) actually rocked it in the end! No, my body was not perfect, or as toned or thin as I would have liked it to be on stage BUT I was HEALTHY and HAPPY with my performance and that, surely, is what counts most! It feels like a triumph anyway. Especially when you consider that this time last year I would NEVER even have considered such an outfit. On a stage. In public. In front of people who know me.

#2 Weightwatchers - Here in the UK we're all set next week for the brand new programme to be launched! New diet! New breakthrough! New you! My friends and I that clerk our local meeting have been trialling it in secret for a couple of weeks (me just for one week) and suffice it to say I am REALLY excited about it! Weight loss hhas been great and I think it affords me the opportunity to eat even healthier on plan. I onbviously can't say too much about it but I definitely think it's a good thing. It's high time WW UK got themselves in line with the rest of the world! Change is always a bit tricky and it's a faff to have to constantly look things up + check out stuff BUT I remind myself that it was this discipline that helped me succeed in the first place, not least because I have consciously thinking about each and every single thing I consume rather than knowing the plan and points values by heart. It's good to refocus.

#3 Becoming a pt - Rather mercifully the start of my practical course has been put back to January 2011. I was annoyed at first because I wanted to dive straight in BUT that would have meant that I'd gone from show week straight into the course and, well, I'm only human! Plus I have an absolute shed load of reading and learning to do before anything else so I am thankful for extra time!

#4 New project! - on the back of the success of 'forum' I have decided to audition to be in Guys and Dolls!!! It opens next April and it quite one of my favourite shows EVER! Sooo, auditions and workshops begin this evening! Wish me luck!! The reason I mention it here is because really it is another offshoot of my new healthy lifestyle. Because I am more confident about my body I can once again indulge my love of performing without detesting being looked at! It's crazy just how far reaching this weight loss malarkey is!

#5 This weekend - *GULP* I will be doing this Seriously. Watch the video. Am I insane? I blame my pt.

And as for me, well....it's November. The first day of the month fell on a Monday + this always make me happy. It feel like a new season, new beginning for me. According to weigh in on Saturday I have gained 7lbs over the past 3 weeks - I refute this entirely. I did have a relaxed week from 24th oct to 31st because I was so knackered after the show AND ill too, but there's no way that amount of fat has attached itself to my bod!. This week, however, I feel better - motivated, committed, driven. So I am counting, tracking, exercising and generally getting back into the swing of things. As I begin my training the focus of this blog may swing away from weightloss/maintenance to a more fitness focus....so I hope you'll still read + follow laong with me!!!

I'm got an unexpected day off (waiting in for a plumber) so I'm off for a foray into blogland to comment on all your blogs as I catch up on my reading!

Masses of love.

Lizzie xoxo

I'm back!

2010-10-27T10:23:00.002+01:00

Hello!

I'm back! Bear with me! Full post-show report pending but for now I am having a crazy week of being back at work and trying to get back to some semblance of normality after a week of lunacy and in many ways the unhealthiest week EVER!

The show went really well, pics to follow and I am definitely auditioning for the next one! Physically I am absolutely shattered so haven't jumped straight back into my workout routine, as I had intended, but that's ok for one week, it won't kill me to chill out for a bit. Likewise with food, I am on day 4 of not counting or weighing myself and whilst it's weird, it's ok (mostly because I am too tired to be bothered!).

But this weekend I will have to drag myself back on track....because of this YIKES!!! How on EARTH do I get roped into these things??!!

So, that's it for now - I'm alive!

Catch ya soon with a proper post - promise!!

Love Lizzie xoxox

Busyness...and other excuses!

2010-10-11T18:22:00.001+01:00

Apologies for my lack of blogging lately my doves! We are a week away from the show, so I am in full steam ahead mode + the world of work is something of an uncertain place to be currently.....we all received letters this weekend asking us to consider early redundancy.......(as IF!!??!!) + I've been seconded to a different dept to work on a big deal project, the mundane details of which I will not bore you with! Plus I am trying to sell our apartment to help with cash flow and maintain some level of marital bliss with my dear hubster that involves actually seeing one another in person, as opposed to existing solely in the world of BlackBerry + facebook!!

So, suffice it to say my head is in a whirl as I try + negotiate my life right now!

Funnily enough, in the old days, this level of busyness in my life would have meant that all things diet and exercise related went out the window. Fortunately though, I'm keeping up with my training + managing to eat healthily + on plan (apart from this weekend but R + I managed to have a date night soooo I ate what I wanted! French bistro......mmmmmmm!!!!)

I've got a week now to really be health driven so that I'll feel confident on stage. For the first time in ages I have no idea what I weigh, not having been to fat club for a few weeks! It's a weird feeling, not knowing, but frankly I don't have the head space right now even to consider it!

I've cut back on my pt sessions too, once every 3 weeks now. I'd love love love to go every week but time I'd ever a factor and the financial implication of £30 per week is just not sustainable.

So what is it that's keepin me busy?! Well.....let me tell you!!!!

Visit www.creationpt.com. Click on the tab entitled "therapy"......see any familiar faces?!

Yup! 'Tis me! Chris, my pt, suggested a while back that I take on some private clients of my own at his new studio. CBT fits really well with diet/weight loss + motivation to change stuff so it enhances the pt work going on by being a complementary therapy. I jumped at the chance to do some of my own work + because pt has made such a wonderful difference in my life, it seemed kind of right that I work out of creation. And how sound of chris to offer me this opportunity!!

So, I had my business cards + publicity produced, the new website went live this week AND I have had my first client!!! It is GREAT finally to be doing something I love but under really positive + life affirming circumstances! I am buzzing!!

Secondly, after the show is over, the weekend of 30-31 October, to be precise, I will be embarking upon my next step to eventually becoming wholly self employed.....yes peeps, I begin my training at

www.premierglobal.co.uk

Hahaha! That's right, I'm gonna be a pt!!!!! Who'd have thunk it??!! It's something that's been suggested to me several times, and you know what? I reeeeealllllly wanna do it! It's cost crazy ££££ but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I am so passionate about this aspect of my life, why shouldn't I make it part of my career?!

When I think about getting up every morning to go + train someone or see them for counselling, I am excited! When I think of my current job......er......not so much. So, on the basis that life is short + you only live once, I'm manifesting some major change in my life! How fabulous to be able to help others achieve what I have - a lifestyle of health-filled happiness!

So Oct 30th sees me embark upon my "Gym Instructor's" part of the course. By March 2011 I'll be qualified + ready to rock + roll!!!

Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Lovelove xxx
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Service interrupted

2010-09-28T21:49:00.000+01:00

No blog post today folks. I am very busy having a horrendous migraine from the very pits of Hades. :-(

Normal service will resume soon......hopefully with a *very* exciting announcement! (No, I'm not bloody pregnant!)

Laterz xoxo
------------------

All synced up!

2010-09-27T12:23:00.004+01:00

My life is imitating the blogosphere! What a coinkydink!!

This morning, as I do most Mondays, I got to the office early & got caught up on all the blog action from the weekend. One blog I read each & every day (unless she's on a blogging hiatus - lol ) is Charlotte.

A word in the title of today's post caught my eye.

TABATA

Where have I heard that recently? I thought to myself. No sooner had I thought that very sentence than was I assaulted right between the eyes with a vivid flashback of Friday evening - dizziness, flashing lights, tunnel vision, incredible sweating, elevated heart rate, puce coloured face. Traumatised I recalled the unholy terror that was Friday night's pt session.

TABATA.

Japanese for cruel + unusual punishment. Not really. I made that up. But it should be.

Yes, pals, on Friday I was introduced to the mad, mad world of Tabata intervals. Simply put, 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest. Save me retyping a definition, go read Charlotte's post all about it here and then read on!

I am always suspicious when I arrive at the studio and see Chris with a stop watch. It never turns out good. And always means hard work.

"Are you ready? Tabata!" - he said, all smiles and cheery disposition.

Having never heard the word before, I assumed he'd said "Are you ready to batter?"

Had I realised it was a 'thing', I'd have immediately demanded a full explanation. What can I say? I like to know what I am getting myself into, particularly when paying for the privilege.

As it was, I hopped unsuspectingly onto the treadmill to warm up with a quick 1k. What followed is something of a blur, but roughly included this:-

1. Lateral jumping side steps over the bosu. 20 seconds. 10 seconds rest. repeat. 8 times. With the added bonus of the last interval being 30 seconds.

2. Hammer curl to shoulder press. With 3kg dumbells. 20 seconds. 10 seconds rest. repeat 8 times. With the added bonus of the last rep being 30 seconds. (Getting the picture?)

3. MB sledgehammer. With 8kg kettlebell. 20 seconds....yadda yadda yadda.....

4. Fast step ups on a step.

5. Jumping over a cone. Fast.

6. On treadmill. 14kph run at a 2.5% incline for 20 secs, 10 secs rest walking at 6kph. 8 times.

7. MB pullover to crunch with medicine ball using rebounder to throw + catch MB.

Each exercise might sound pretty tame and do-able but try doing all that in the space of an hour whilst trying not to throw up. Or faint. Or both. De-light-ful.

Oh, did I mention that I was only allowed 1 lousy minutes' rest inbetween each exercise.

Nice.

That my friends, was my induction into the world of Tabata (my 'to batter' doesn't seem so stupid now, does it!!!!)

I swear my face has never been so red following exercise. Ever.

It was bloody good though! I worked flipping hard. I would never push myself that hard alone. I guess you should only try it though at a level that's reasonable for you and your level of fitness, or under instruction of a qualified professional because it is reeeeeallllly hard....

(I remain convinced that the 1.5lb loss this week happened entirely on Friday night - hahaha!)

Happy Monday dudes!

Love Lizzie xoxoxox

Weekend Weigh In shocker

2010-09-27T12:16:00.003+01:00

Erm, so apparently I needn't have worried. I managed to lose 1.5lbs this week, which takes me to a grand total of 44lbs lost. WOOP! 9 stone 9.5lbs/ 135.5lbs/ 61.4kg. Not bad for birthday week!

A thoroughly undeserved but nonetheless entirely welcome loss. I blame Tabata. More on this later.

Lizzie xoxo

Sweaty Betty & LiLo spam

2010-09-24T11:08:00.003+01:00

Hello friends

Thanks for all the reassuring comments after my freak out yesterday. Crisis averted. And thanks Sal for a timely, pointed, arse-kicking email. I do love you so.

I made it to the gym last night in time for combat & yoga after seeing my client. I had not done BodyPump as usual prior to Combat so I threw myself into the routine to warm myself up. So much so, in fact, that I sweated like an actual pig. You know how women are suppsoed to 'perspire'? Well I don't. I sweat. Like a man. As in clima cool top soaked right through-having to wear a head band at all times-if you sit on a gym mat you leave a bum print-trickling down your back and between your boobs kinda sweating.

And last night was no exception. In fact I sweated more than I usually do because I was so fresh (ironically given yesterday's post) and had more energy to expend.

And expend it I did. During the back kick/front kick combo I glanced down and noticed that I had sweated all over the floor around me. This transfixed me so that the next thing I knew I went A over T and had slipped over. In the gym. On my own sweat.

Can I get an ' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW' !!!

vile vile vile.

People just applauded. Apparently it's a sign of working hard. Good grief.

In other news, apparently Lindsay Lohan has been lurking on my blog and commented on yesterday's post (I have now deleted the comment) about all sorts of lovely drugs I can purchase to help combat my anxiety.

Who knew?

GOOD GRIEF!

Happy weekend! Weigh in tomorrow. Oh god.

lovelove xoxoxox

Anxiety

2010-09-23T16:48:00.001+01:00

I feel stressed when my life gets in the way of my self-imposed routine + expectations.

I get a knot of anxiety in my chest that washes over me in a wave of panic whenever I think about how I haven't worked out or eaten right or how things have interrupted my usual routine.

For example, this week I have not yet worked out once. This past weekend I was busy with rehearsals, ditto Monday, Tuesday was my birthday + I had visitors and dinner out, yesterday I was exhausted + worked late so all I could do was lie on the sofa till bedtime, and eat beans on toast for dnner. With cheese on. And brown sauce. Winning combo in the comfort food stakes but not if you're trying to lose weight. I also had a craving for a Greggs' pastie + those of you who live in the UK will understand the magnitude of that statement....

Learning? When I'm tired + possibly a little overstretched, my willpower + discipline go out the window.

I can't even do my usual Thursday night gym blitz because I've got a new client to assess, which is awesome for business but leaves me back in that anxious state.

How have I gone from my dedicated self of last week to this?! Last week it was such a priority for me (largely driven by fear about the show, admittedly) + yet this week not so much.

Is it that I think I've got it covered? Have I relaxed given that my "Forum" costume fits? Apparently I've gained 5lbs since Saturday's triumphant weigh in. I realise this is not "fat" but rather the result of eating bread, birthday cake and pasta when ordinarily I would steer clear of them.

Why is it so difficult for me to move past this? Why can't I just chalk it up to experience + get back on plan? My anxiety leads to low mood which leads to demotivation coupled with tiredness which means I don't feeeeel like exercising, so I don't! So I feel guilty + more anxious. I can literally *see* the cycle written up on a whiteboard for a client! And thus we spiral outta control.

I know that being out of my "pattern" stresses me out. This is a remnant of eating disorder land + OCD + possibly just being a Virgo.(....either that or I actually AM on the Autistic Spectrum......). I know this. And yet it is this aspect of my life that I have the least control over. It sneaks up on me + surpises me. And it is especially humbling because I help people with these same issue for a living!!!!!

This hurdle - albeit fleeting + momentary- is bigger to me than any aspect of eating + exercise. And this is why ww and seeing a pt is (for me, + I would imagine many, many others) not enough. The psychological facet of it all is what I find most difficult + frustrating.

Life hey! Who knew I'd be such a nutjob!!!!????

Lovelove xoxox

------------------

Perspective

2010-09-21T09:36:00.003+01:00

Today I am 32. GAH! Less said about that the better but what it has made me do is reflect a little.....

This time last year I was here - 165lbs (11 stone 11), as opposed to now, a year later at 137lbs. My birthday last year marked the beginning of starting to feel good about my health & fitness & weight again. I never would have imagined getting to where I'm at with all this healthy lifestyle stuff. I certainly never would have imagined my body looking how it does today or having the speed & strength & drive I've got now. Or being this active.

So I guess what today has done is made me appreciate just how far I have come in a relatively short while & how changes I have made have been for the better. Without question. Whilst I might be overly self-critical it does me good to take a step back and just realise.

Last year, I felt amaaaaaaazing on my birthday - this year totally different again.

Imagine what I'll be like at 40???!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Have a great day dudes

Love Lizzie xoxox

Guilt-ridden....

2010-09-20T15:18:00.001+01:00

I did not work out one teeny tiny little bit over the weekend.

I did not have time AT ALL.

(I hate it when people say things like that.)

Worst part is, the horrendous guilt I am feeling. Not a good sign.....

L xo

Weekend Weigh In

2010-09-19T18:49:00.001+01:00

Excuse me if this makes bob all sense. I am absolutely knackered, on the train on my way home from an extremely long, all- day rehearsal. Just thought I'd check in.....

Well friends, the hard work + discipline paid off + I am pleased to announce a 2.5lb loss. This takes me back to 9,11 (137lbs, 62.1kg) so YAY. And PHEW.

I also went back to pt on Friday and survived. It was quite a tame session compared to others I have experienced.....I think I am being lulled into a false sense of security! We did a lot of strength work + Chris was his usual blatantly honest self + said I looked slimmer. He also said I'd lost some "bulk" off my upper body, meaning I had been perhaps too toned? Anyhoo he was pleased that I hadn't lost the plot over the summer + I was glad I could still do a full session! All in all it was good to be back.

So here's to the coming week, keep on keeping on! That's what I'm gonna do!

Happy sunday evening folks!

Love lizzie xoxo
------------------

Thoughts on shorts.... edited - pics added

2010-09-16T23:27:00.002+01:00

As you will no doubt have gleaned by now, I have a bit of a wonky self image. Mercifully it is lessening but I still have the occasional "wobble" and moments of panic and, so it would seem, some psychological barriers that will bloody well not shift!

One such barrier is, yep, you guessed it, wearing shorts.

I have never been a wearer of shorts. My legs as a kid were like Bambi's (earning me the delightful nickname "knots in cotton"- thanks dad!), when I was dancing they were ok but muscular. One ballet teacher even told me that my legs resembled a male dancer's legs, as opposed to a ballerina's. Nice.

I have this iconic picture of Rich + I in NYC the summer we were 18, posing with the famous skyline behind us. I am wearing shorts. I look bloody awful. And in my mind, that's how I look + will always look in a pair of shorts.

Fast forward to recent times. When I began working with Mr Motivata aka Chris the pt, one things he asked me was what goals did I have in mind? Hilariously, I now know he meant sommat like "to do a triathlon" or "run a 10k". My reply? Apparently with an entirely serious face, I earnestly replied "Jennifer Aniston's arms + Jessica Simpson's legs"

Nowadays. I run regularly and work on my pins a lot. They've slimmed down considerably, but in my mind's eye they are like tree trunks. As such, over the summer I could be seen regularly sweating like a pig (even more so than usual) on my runs, wearing running tights or the bare minimum of a pair of capris.

It got too ridiculous, so I set myself a behavioural challenge: to buy and wear to run in public a pair of running shorts. So, last time I shopped with my mummy + sister I took them to the Nike shop in Liverpool One for moral support + bought some gorgeous retro Nike purple clima cool running shorts. I love them. And I figure I can't see myself while I'm out running (I avoid looking @ shop windows for this express purpose) and I run at pace so people probably don't really notice. I'm fairly anonymous out there.So it's all ok. Hurrah! A triumph! I wore shorts!!

However, I did make a solemn vow NEVER EVER to wear them to the gym. Imagine! There's people I know there! And people scrutinise you there! (I know this because I do the same thing! What?! Don't pretend you don't do it too!! It whiles away hours on the treadmill!!!!! )

So, you can imagine my sheer delight when I got home early yesterday afternoon + decided to nip to the gym prior to my evening rehearsal, only to find every single pair of running leggings in the wash!!!!!

Nooooooooo!!!! #epiclaundryfail

Instead of panicking, the idea occurred to me to wear aforementioned purple shorts to the gym. Yikes!

So I did.

I noticed several things:-

* when I run, my legs do not look all flabby + cellulitey. I can see the muscles in them, all defined!

*when I do loaded lunges, same deal- you can actually see the muscle tone.

* and then, the "light bulb moment".....

BLOODY HELL MY LEGS *are* as honed + toned as Jessica Simpson's!!!!!! (Please understand I'm talkin' the Jessica of 'Dukes' era, not now- poor thing)

Now, all this might sound a bit odd to you, but there's such power in getting past a body hang up. At least I've found it to be so. It's a bit mad to realise that my bod has undergone such a transformation. - similar to when I was a bit mesmerised by my own arms during BodyPump class - my legs are usually covered so it was kinda weird to see them working!

*****************************

I wrote the above today sitting in a coffee house during lunchtime. It's now 11pm + I'm home after "Beast it Thursday" gym time.. After reflecting on my "shorts thoughts" today, I decided to go the whole hog + wore a pair of teeny tiny gym shorts to do yoga this evening. I was soooooo scared! I didn't want people to think "who's the fat girl in the gym wear" because irrespective of how I look, that is how I feeeeeeeel. So it was something of a challenge-to-self.

I bloody did it. AND furthermore, Sharon aka amazing yoga teacher came up to me in the middle of forward bend and told me my legs look great + if she had them she'd wear little shorts all day every day! Wowsa! What a compliment (she has an amaaaaaazing body!)

So all in all, shorts experiment = total success!

Hurrah for NSV's! That is defo mine for the week! Right now, I'm so jacked up on endorphins, I don't even care about the scale!!! (It'll wear off, don't worry- hahaha)

Right, I'm off to bed to have pre-pt nightmares.....more on that tomorrow!

Lovelove

Lizzie xoxo

The costume!

Yoga shorts!

Sneaky mid-week scale peek.....

2010-09-15T10:12:00.002+01:00

.........suggests that the buggers have finally mooooooved! Downwards, I hasten to add! All of which is greatly pleasing. However, tis only Wednesday *sob* so there's plenty of work to be done. No slacking!!!!

Laterz

L xoxox
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Those scales had better bloody well MOVE this week!

2010-09-14T09:49:00.003+01:00

Or there will be trouble!!!!

Having got over my tantrum after weigh in on Saturday, I'm pleased to report quite an ok weekend. Put it this way, I didn't have to scrawl "write off" dramatically across my tracker in red pen in the manner of an angry teacher this weekend, as I *may* have done over the past six or seven.

Had a great workout Friday night, took Saturday off + ran yesterday + then did BodyPump 75 which is the new release here in the UK. Verdict? Shoulders + abs are great! Much harder than 74, but I'd have kept the lunge track from 74! Rest was all pretty much of a muchness. I find that now I know how to put my own weights programme together, BP doesn't cut it as much as it once did. But it is great for when I only have an hour to bob in + out of the gym.

This morning I was up early + legged it round my usual 5k route before work. I did this a lot last Autumn when I was busy in the evenings, so think I'll try + fit a few in on days when I can't work out in the evenings because of rehearsal. (Five weeks till the show- arrrrgh!!!!)

**************************

Oops! That's been sitting in my drafts file all day! Today is Tuesday. I am on fire!! Got home unexpectedly early- so instead of sitting on my a*se + watching yet more re-runs of Gilmore Girls, I donned my running gear + ran 3 laps of the village- four-ish miles. Yay me. And then off I went to rehearsal! First one in the theatre YIKES! Really reeeeealllly good to be back on stage + whilst I have major anxiety regarding my costume or lack thereof, I realise that I do feel pretty confident about my body these days- or more confident than I used to, at least.

Scales, however, aren't playing ball just yet. It's only Tuesday though.......on Friday I go back to see my pt. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzznuts! *scared*

If that's not an incentive to eat right + workout then I dunno what is!!!!!

Happy Tuesday peoples!

L xoxo
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Saturday Weigh-in

2010-09-11T10:23:00.001+01:00

And the results are in.....

ONE LOUSY POUND

I am p*ssed off.

L xo
------------------

People don't notice you half as much as you imagine they do....

2010-09-10T10:05:00.002+01:00

Check it. Conversation I had this evening at the gym.

Picture the scene: It was 7:30pm, I had done a BodyCombat class and a BodyPump class and was a big, sweaty, red-faced mess. This is my usual look around about this time on a Thursday. I was on my way out of the studio to change my revolting gym top for a nice fresh, dry, sweet-smelling one before heading back into the studio for yoga when one of the regulars stopped me. The conversation ensued thus:-

(Woman) "Oooh I thought of you on Sunday"

(I do not even know this woman's name, so this was a slightly odd convo opener!)

(Me) "Oh really?"

(Woman) "Yes, but I don't want to offend you"

(Me) "Er....ok....?" (Slightly panicked )

(Woman) "But I was watching Alan Carr Chatty Man on Sunday...."

(God-awful British chat show host)

."... And Katy Perry? was on it...."

(She said "Katy Perry?" like how you Americans speak, y'know, with a question mark at the end, as if gauging to see if I'd know who Katy Perry was)

"....And I said to my husband, there's a girl who goes to my yoga class who is the absolute spitting image of Katy Perry...."

Hahahahahahaha!!! She thinks I look like Katy Perry!

I was somewhat taken aback!!

(A) er hello.....AS IF

(B) WHAT a compliment! She is beautiful!!!!!!

{ (C) I tooooooootalllllly wish I had her boobs }

I assured random yoga woman that it was a huuuuge compliment, at least to my way of thinking, and got involved with sun salutation,

BUT

The exchange kinda got me thinking....pretty much proves the whole beauty-eye-beholder thang + further reinforces my point to self from a few days ago..

Which is

That what I see in the mirror is not what others see.

On the days when I have been feeling grotesque + gargantuan people have commented on how much weight I've lost. I forget that just because I'm scrutinising every little inch of my body and judging it and making mental (and, sadly, real) lists of improvements I wish to make, doesn't mean that everyone else pays such close attention.

In fact, people don't notice you half as much as you imagine they do. True story.

I am my own harshest critic. I am trying not to be.

.
Lots of love + happy Friday,

Katy Perry xoxox hahahaha!!!!
------------------

Stop Press

2010-09-09T10:18:00.001+01:00

The grey pencil skirt that was super tight on Monday Sept 1st is now loose-fitting again. Go figure.

L Xoxo
------------------

I am almost certainly going to hell for this post.......

2010-09-08T10:47:00.002+01:00

Last night I went to the gym.

I forgot my iPod so on the treadmill I resorted to people watching. I admired some people, learnt some new things, and thought constructively how I'd change what certain people were doing if I were a pt. (To the man doing ridiculously heavy chest presses WITH AN ARCHED BACK you are going to do yourself a mischief sunshine – engage that core and tense your abs…and whilst we're at it boys of gym world, please don't think we cant see you having a 'cabinet reshuffle' with one hand down your roomy gym keks…..because we CAN. And it's vile. So stop it. It'll still be there when you get home, play with it then. Good grief. Oh and ONE MORE THING! Pleeeeeease wear proper shoes rather than flipflops in the weight room you doofuses.)

*Ahem* Where was I?

Oh yes, on the treadmill, people watching………

And then I saw an actual pt working out alongside one of her clients. She had a t shirt that said 'Personal trainer' on the back. They were rowing together. She was hard to miss. And by that I don't mean she was a honed & toned gym bunny and all-round good advert for her profession. Oh no. She was, well….how can I put this?

Er…..chunky and flabby.

I was appalled. And also surprised by the strength of my reaction. Now I am appalled at MYSELF for being so bloody judgemental.

But I DID judge her. I wouldn't pay someone who looked like that my hard-earned cash to train me. HOW BAD IS THAT!!! I am a BAAAAAAAAAD person and clearly gonna get a karmic kick in the ass for it. But nonetheless, it's true.

I judged her immediately as a poor trainer because of her size, shape and the fact that she looked as if she'd never been near the gym.

It got me thinking, how important IS appearance when choosing a pt? When I met Chris I didn't think 'WHOA! He works out!' I just thought 'there's someone who looks fit and as if he knows his stuff and as if he can teach me a thing or three', but if I'd met this girl from last night, I'd have hightailed it out the door after the consultation & never looked back.

If the proof really IS in the pudding, then I guess appearance IS important. Kinda like when you pick a new hair stylist. I unashamedly pick one who has good hair. It seems to make sense. If they can look after their own 'do', they're gonna be respectful of mine! Equally with pt's, if they look like they take care of their own bods, I'm gonna trust them with mine. Simply put, I respect them. I

t's kind of the reaction I've been getting lately when I get chatting to gym people and I tell them my story – as if people can't imagine that I've ever had a problem with my weight, or wasn't always this fit – and once they discover that I've had to work for my success, a light of respect (acceptance??) comes into their eyes and I know I've got them 'on side'. Weird.

Anyhoo….. So, if you're still reading this, after discovering what a total judgemental b*tch I am, what do you think?

Would you reject a pt on the basis that they were a bit on the porky side?? Interesting, innit?

Laterz,

Lxoxo
------------------

Contrary

2010-09-08T09:19:00.002+01:00

I've got Body Image Anxiety.

Haven't we all?! I hear you cry.

Well.

Let me explain what I mean. Last night I had a dance rehearsal for the show that I'm in. My costume is little more than an embellished bikini. I know. Insania. It got me thinking. I find it MENTAL that I am contemplating not only wearing said item, but also engaging in full on dance routines whilst wearing said item. On a stage. In front of people. People I know. HOLY Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiznuts! (as someone I love dearly would say!)

So, arguably, you might say that my self image has improved considerably since I got to goal, took control of my eating and my health, started working out etc etc. Because there's NO WAY IN HELL I ever would have considered wearing said item in said vicinity when I was 40 odd lbs heavier.

However.

It occurred to me, looking back through old (now hideous) pics of myself, that back then I genuinely thought that I looked ok. I mean, sure, I've never been 'beautiful' in the classic sense of the word, but I know how to dress for my shape, I'm good at clothes and I have my own style and whatnot. Plus my husband it damn hot so I figure I cant be totally fugly.....(er hello putting your self worth in other people/things alert!!!)

All joking aside, what I mean is, I genuinely did not see the unhealthy, flabby body before me. But never mind hey? At least now I have it all in perspective and can look objectively at my own reflection and be pleased with what Ive achieved.

Right?

WRONGO!!!!!!

I think, and here's the point of the post, that I have got WORSE instead of better!

I'm so much more self critical, forever "checking" in the mirror whether my stomach is flat, how toned my arms/back/shoulders/legs/stomach/ how sharp my profile is/is there a space under my ribs/whether I've got love handles/etc etc.

I torment myself with "things to work on next" itineraries and I am never happy with my image in pictures.....there's always something I'd change. I never USED to do this.. I never would pick holes in my appearance like this.

So why is this? What's changed? Is it that my "standards" of expectation I set myself are higher (in my eyes) now? Is it because I finally have a glimpse of just how athletic my body can be? Is it because I'm motivated or is it because I have gone over to the dark side.

Is this normal when you've lost a chunk of weight? I so want to be able to appreciate my body for what it is and what it can do, and how amazing it has become (is becoming? Always was?) not be all negative and self-critical all the time. I fully subscribe to the 'Be your own superhero' maxim but cant quite get past the self-scrutiny.

Thoughts?

L x

------------------

Weekends are FAR too short.....

2010-09-06T15:02:00.002+01:00

Monday? Again? Seriously?!

So, my weekend went a little like this:

Friday- was a total saint all day food wise, high-tailed it straight to
them gym where my legs begrudgingly took me through a fast 5k (well,
fast for me- 21 mins) and then did a super set weights circuit. Legged
it home and got ready to go to The Heywoods for my cousin Andy's
birthday gathering. All the rellies, my own dear husband included,
chowed down on that classic British staple of fish + chips, whereas I,
dear friends, took along a tuna super salad. Rather than taking the
mick, one of my aunts exclaimed how great it was that I was that "in the
zone" I didn't even WANT to eat what the others were eating.......and
the more I thought about, the more I realised how true that is. After a
successful week of being healthy, I didn't want to chuck it all away the
night before weigh in!

And weigh in? Well, I managed a stay-the-same at 10.5 stones (140.5lbs,
63.7kg) from the last time I weighed in, which is not bad going
considering what I've eaten + what I weighed at the beginning of the
week!! So I'm pretty pleased. Only 0.5 of a lb over goal, so my aim for
this week is to press on and see a nice 9 at the start of the scale @
weigh in this weekend! Should be do-able.......

Still wimping out of the pt though.....I'm like one of those ww members
who says they'll "return to meetings when I've lost a bit of weight".
Good grief. Sue's right in her lovely comment on my previous post - I do
need to go and face the music. Grrr....... I am DREADING getting on the
scales of doom - the ones that calculate bodyfat. GROSS.

Workout-wise I wussed out on Saturday, was just too tired (on account of
having stayed up till 2am the previous night - bloody idiot that I am!).
I did ride my bike to and from fat club thought but that was it on the
exercise for Saturday. I did, however, make up for it on Sunday. Sucked
it up and ran my first 10k for 8 weeks. 57mins, which SUCKS but I'll
take it. It can only get better. I absolutely loved it, though. And
typically, afterwards I wondered why on earth I'd been so reticent to do
it in the first place! WEIRD. After my run I had a little rest for a few
hours then hit the gym to do my own kick ass circuits in the weights
room. I got there at 5:15pm so could have done the 5:30pm BodyPump class
but I wanted (yes, WANTED) to challenge myself a little bit more so
spent a good 90 minutes doing circuits of tri-sets, completing 3 sets of
15 reps on each individual exercise. Sounds complicated, so let me give
you an example.

One arm tri-set that I did was on the ball, prone position. 1 set wide
rows with 5kg, 1 set tricep kickbacks with 4kg, 1 set rear delt fly with
4kg. Each set has 15 reps in, so I did wide rows, then triceps, then
rear delts, then began again with wide rows. I super-setted it so no
resting in between.

I alternated between arms, core, resistance, legs, abs to ensure an even
workout and worked a bit on my pull ups. I just felt like I got so much
more out of my workout than if I had done that Pump class. Don't get me
wrong, I love that class and it's great when you only have an hour to
whizz in and out of the gym, and can follow a bit mindlessly, but this
way I used my own knowledge and love of exercise to better equip my body
to deal with life. I'm so sore today but man it was worth it!

Eating-wise Saturday was not so good, but on the plus side I DID track
EVERYTHING! Saturday night we had pizza and x factor with a few beers,
but yesterday - oh yesterday! I got all 'Domestic Goddess' in my kitchen
and made (ww friendly) chicken Kiev for Rich and myself! Amazing what
you can do with good ol' Philly ! I also made chilli potato wedges and a
super salad. I measured a 175ml glass of Soave and snuggled up with the
hub to watch Transformers. Rich was rather impressed with his dinner and
did not believe it was a ww recipe! HAHAHA! I was most impressed with
myself - particularly because I was well within daily points for the
day, which means I am starting my week off on the right foot! Now bring
on that fat loss!!!!!!

Hope you're all having a great Monday and HELLO NEW FOLLOWERS!!! (Bloody
HELL I've got 104!!! :0)

Love Lizzie

Oh, and PS - what the chuff is labour day all about? Seriously!!

------------------

Friiiiiiday!

2010-09-03T10:05:00.001+01:00

How come it feels like I've been back at work for eons despite being a 3 day week??!!! Next week will be hell!!

At least there's a weekend on the horizon! Anyone got any fun plans??

So last night I did a BodyPump class and followed it with BodyCombat. It's been a week since I did any kind of exercise (apart from a rather pathetic beach run whilst away) and MAN was it tough!!! I guess this is what I mean when I say I've lapsed somewhat with my training! It's been kind of a cumulative thing over a 2 month period. So last night was tough but this morning I've got that achey tiredness vibe that I've learnt to love because I know it means I've worked out! When I got in I was absolutely famished and had a mad craving for beans on toast- so I had them. Part of me felt bad because it means I've broken the no bread rule + gone over points, but mostly I just really, reeeeealllly wanted to eat them! I didn't put anything on the toast + I drained the sauce off the beans so it put me only a couple of points over my daily allowance of 18. I don't count my activity points either but I know from my HRM that a good 900 calories were burnt @ the gym so all in all I figure I'm ok.

That said, today I feel a little bit as if I'm wearing a fatsuit. I can feel more padding all over my bod and I really don't like it! I know others won't be able to tell but I can!! It's not nice having been so lean and toned so recently! Isn't it MAD !!!! At the gym I really got a good look at myself (er hello! Bloody mirrors EVERYWHERE!) and I can definitely tell I'm chunkier.

Still, the scale says that after just 2 days of being back on the vibe I've lost 4lbs! Haha yeh RIGHT!!!! But that puts me at 10,1 or 141lbs which is still only 1lb over my goal of 140 so it's not drastic from a scale perspective BUT I reckon my body fat % has gone up + lean muscle gone down. I'm so frustrated at myself!

I'm also avoiding my pt - he's been away for a month and I'm supposed to go tonight but I cannot bring myself to face the music! I know I need to man up but I'll feel so disappointed with myself. As if I've undone all my hard work!!

Arrrrrgggghhh!!!!

So apparently I'm having a wobbly day! Dammit.

L xoxo
------------------

"Blasted water weight..."

2010-09-02T09:08:00.001+01:00

Morning all!

So, I am pleased to declare Day 1 of "get your health groove back on" was a complete and utter success! Wahoop!! Stuck to 18 points and didn't give in and eat crap at 10pm when I got in from rehearsal! Had some porridge and went to bed.

Is it possible to feel thinner over night? Just one day of eating healthily + working out moderately (40 lengths, 23 mins) and I feel tremendous....or at least on the way to being. Mad. And accoring to the scales I've "lost" 3lbs since yesterday morning, which is obviosuly nonsense but gratifying and encouraging nonetheless....it's as if I've been instantly rewarded for good behaviour. Mad.

So with that, I'm off to have a great tuesday. - why don't you do the same!!

Toot toot!

Lizzie xoxo
------------------

I'm FAMOUS!

2010-09-01T18:19:00.003+01:00

Check me out here on Annabel's fabulous blog!!!! I didn't even know people read regulary! So THANK YOU to those of you that do!!!!

Seeing my own story (again) on someone else's blog, particularly someone like lovely Annabel who 'gets it' (and has a strange penchant for British accents) has really encouraged me to continue on this, frankly, mental journey I find myself on.

I PROMISE to post more often!!

Love and lessening

Lizzie xoxo

Day One Back on Plan

2010-09-01T08:49:00.001+01:00

Very boring but necessary post:

Breakfast: 40g branflakes, skim milk and tea - 2 pts + 1 for milk.
Lunch: salad of celery, peppers, cucumber, red onion, cherry tomatoes, tuna with xlight mayo - 3pts
Latte 2pts
Go Ahead bar 3pts
Melon + strawberries. 2.5pts
3L water 0 pts

This takes me up to dinner time. I have a rehearsal at 7 so no time to gym so instead I will swim in my lunch break to get my exercise in. 40 lengths in 25 mins is the aim.

Weight: 10,5 3/8 OMG!!

Grey pencil skirt feels very verrrry tight. Error.

Onwards and,er, downwards.

Have a great 1st Sept!!

Love lizzie xoxo
------------------

Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer...

2010-08-30T18:30:00.001+01:00

......Sitting in the late afternoon blistering sunshine, surrounded by emerald green fields and clear blue sea, it's REALLY hard to care about an expanding waistline and atrophying muscles.....especially with an ice cold, local Welsh brewed organic pear cider in hand to wash down a bonafide seaside chippy dinner, after a day on the beach.

However.

Tomorrow it's back to reality.

Tomorrow I WILL care.

Tomorrow I will not look back and stress about what I could have (should have??) done differently.

No.

Tomorrow, I shall merely pick up where I left off on Friday. A week of healthy eating and working out will set my world to rights. I'll get back in control of my body and continue this journey. In no time at all I will feel on top of my game once more. This is learning. This is experience.

A new and (if honest) a slightly odd feeling.......but one I choose to embrace.

Happy end of summer, friends, and here's to the next chapter in all our lives, both collectively & individually......

Lizzie xoxox.
------------------

So, that was summer?!

2010-08-27T10:29:00.004+01:00

Dudes! It's almost September! I'm almost 32! Panic! Where on earth have the last 6 weeks gone? The nights are drawing in, the weather sucks (and has done for most of July & August), and the hubster is almost back to school. Summer is almost dunzo. And what have I got to show for it??

Hmmm.....

Well, what I've got to show for it is a 6lb gain. That's 1lb a week. That's almost half a stone. And I can definitely feel it, too. And not in any good places (ie boobs). Granted, I am still 1lb under my goal weight but I do like to err on the side of crazy, er..caution...and this 'thickness' I now feel and see in my body does not sit comfortably. In fact I am driving myself insane thinking about it. Obsess much?

The summer has been busy, socially speaking, which means I have relaxed somewhat in my ordinarily rigid rules. I am trying to see this as a good thing. I have seen people I wanted to see this summer, rather than missing out on events because I live in the gym.

But rather than dwell on the past and spend the next hour justifying my summer, I am going to look ahead!

The fact is, I have not 'undone' 18 months of hard work with a six week slackened schedule/eating plan. I will not suddenly gain back the 40-odd lbs Ive lost in a few weeks (unless I continue to bake Charlotte's deadly pb cookies that is (see picture) - seriously, try them BUT ONLY ONCE...amaaaaaaazing. In a 'crack' kinda way. Put white chocolate chips in too....seriously). I know what I need to do and how I need to live in order to pull it back over the next few weeks.

So, plans for the Autumn (that's 'Fall' US readers) are thus:

Begin tracking again. Nuff said.

Drink water - I've lost my diligence with the whole 3 litres a day thing

Clean eating - the processed foods have been creeping in again, albeit pointed and tracked but still, after being so careful I can really feel the difference.

Shake up the workouts - my exercise schedule has altered slightly from the 6 days a week full on beat it to an altogether more moderate plan, mostly to accommodate my latest project

Yes my friends, I am currently in rehearsals for another musical with West Kirby Light Opera Society! It's very exciting, bloody hard work but a reet ol' larf too. I play a Courtesan in the local brothel...I know...and as such will be wearing very little on stage. All the more reason for me to go bootcamp crazy on my ass!! We rehearse Monday/Wednesday/Sunday so it's playing havoc with my gym and running regime!

I think too that I am going to pull back on the pt sessions. Every week for 6 months has been awesome and I have loved every minute of it - even the throwing up post-circuits, the fatigue and the feeling like I have been run-over for 3 days after.....but it's not sustainable forever - neither financially nor realistically - I'm not in LA!! So I think I'll ask Chris for a programme I can do on my own and visit him once a month for a good ol' pasting. I know enough now that I can challenge myself in the weights room rather than relying solely on BodyPump classes. I also want to get back into running longer distances (10k +), I've not done a long run for aaaaaaaages.

So all in all I'm excited for September 1st. I'm away this weekend but once next Wednesday arrives I'm gonna be all about tracking, weighing, pointing, exercising and (dare I say it) BLOGGING!

So keep me accountable, ok?!

Looking forward to September!

lovelove xxxx

I suck at blogging.....

2010-08-09T10:33:00.001+01:00

.......And, just lately, at staying on plan.

Back to basics I go.........

*sigh*

Lizzie xoxo
------------------

In tribute...

2010-07-29T09:54:00.003+01:00

Remember that horrible, awful, tragic day almost one year ago? I'm sure you do.

Couldn't we do something to commemorate the memory of Jen's mum? Shouldn't we? I'm thinking it should probably involve Oreos in some way. Her mum loved them. I sent this pic of me to Jen when we had our England vs. US football match party during the World Cup and it made her laugh. I think posting a pic of yourself on your blog with some Oreos over the weekend would be a good way to show solidarity with our dear friend Jen and all the Emmerts as they face the one year anniversary. We're with you Jen, we love you and we're so very grateful you're in our lives.

Much love,

Lizzie xoxo

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!

2010-06-29T16:50:00.000+01:00

I cannot stop bloody EATING CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Weekend of excess.....

2010-06-28T16:11:00.001+01:00

....Means a week of getting back into the healthy groove. As soon as I get to my office I will take some time to sit and plan out the week.

*No booze- daytime football matches are lethal! The beer starts flowing and before you know it it's 10pm and the 3 litres of water a day thing has thoroughly gone out the window!!

*No bread- BBQ's, however healthy, are always hard for me because I lurrrrrrve bread soooooo much! But a weekend of eating it with pretty much every meal has left me feeling huge, bloated, fat, stodgy and puffy. So let the detox begin!

*Water- at least 3 litres a day!! Annoyingly I cannot find the stopper for my bottle this morning, so it'll have to sit on my desk! I will buy a bottle for the gym tonight.

*Exercise- I want to get a workout in every day this week, be it a run or a class, this body needs activity. I feel lethargic and lazy but I know I'll feel so energised when I've moved more! I pretty much took the weekend off so I need to get back into it. I immediately feel better when I workout- it's like magic!

*Cheese is off the menu!! - it seems to have been creeping back in lately. Totally fine if I've counted, weighed and pointed....not so much if I haven't!!!!

*Meals-as clean as possible, no red meat, lots of fruit & veg, lean proteins and good and healthy fibre and carbs!

* Plan Count Track. Repeat ad infinitum!

*Stick to points- they're there for a REASON!

*Steer clear of cake.

So that's my plan......my body is craving healthy stuff!!!! I intend to comply.

Love, Lizzie xoxo
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Keep on Runnin'....

2010-06-24T16:18:00.003+01:00

My current running playlist for inspiration, criticism and a good ol' larf at my expense no doubt! Hey, it works for me!!!

Artist/Title

Inna - Hot
Prodigy - World's on fire (in fact the entire Invaders must die album is bloody ace to run to, as is anything by Evil 9)
Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
Glee cast - Rehab
Florence and the Machine - Dog Days are Over
Roll Deep - Good Times
Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
Prodigy - Run with the Wolves
Ellie Goulding - Guns & Horses
Pendulum - Witchcraft
Sports Relief 2010 sports mix radio 1
Kelis - Acapella

Let the judgement commence!!! :-)

Lxoox

Freak of Nature

2010-06-24T16:01:00.002+01:00

So yesterday was a good day - I ate splendidly well and healthily, England sucked considerably less at footy, I passed an assignment with flying colours, put together a business plan for a brand new opportunity I've been offered, caught up with my sister before she trolls off the the land of Glastonbury and leisurely ran 7 or so miles. After my shower, I stood in front of the mirror I was marvelling at how flat my stomach was. That sentence sounds weird but oh the HOURS I have spent in front of a mirror scrutinising my body. Yesterday I was amazed at the definition in my abs, think Britney in the Slave4u video (in my head at least LOL) and went to bed pretty much buzzing.

Today, par contre, a mere sleep later I am bloated, feeling decidedly rotund, fat, heavy and pretty much a walking carb! I am craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaving sandwiches and crisps and even stooped so low as to buy a Twirl before, which I woofed down and barely even tasted.

I am well aware that this is hormone induced and will pass but still it just astounds me! I know that what my body needs is to chug water, peppermint tea, eat a nice healthy meal later and to move - this is, after all, Thursday evening aka 'beast it' night - but I really feel inclined to go home (via the chippy and off license) and thoroughly surrender to my current hormone induced nonsensical attitude.

I am sooooooo loathe to blame feeling like this on my freaking period - especially when I spend my days challenging people NOT to give in to their hormones. is it REALLY hormones? I dont feel any less comitted tot he cause than yesterday, nothing happened over night to make me lose the plot, so the only thing I can think is it must be that.

Ah well. I'm off to lock the Oreos in my desk drawer.........

Lizzie xoxox

The Tyranny of the Scale......and other ramblings

2010-06-22T10:49:00.002+01:00

So this week I apparently gained 6lbs. The week before I dropped 5lbs…allegedly…and was at my lowest weight (134lbs) since birth (slight exaggeration)

In short, I have no clue wtf the scales mean any more. This is something of an epiphany. I can tentatively say with a modicum of certainty that the scales have most certainly taken on less meaning in my life. I can *look* at myself now and objectively state that I am leaner, smaller, more toned and compact than I have ever been in my life. This, people, is about health and fitness. Not a figure on the scale.

Real life example? This past weekend I had a tremendous training session on Friday evening, we worked on strength and stamina (I say ‘we’, I mean ME – trainers ALWAYS use the royal ‘we’…makes you feel part of a team hahaha) and then-high tailed it round to a friend’s house to watch the (dire) football. I ate chips and dip, chilli, white basmati rice, dough balls and drank wine. I chose to – knowing it would impact my Saturday weigh in but wanting to hang out with my chums and have a bonza time. Previously I might not have gone at all, for fear of not seeing the figure I wanted to on the scale at the end of a week's point counting and tracking and weighing, but I did not want my life to be ruled by the prospect of a weigh in the following morning! Now I know that the temporary ‘carbed-up-to-the-eyeballs’ weight is just that – temporary. It’s not fat gain, not at all. So although I ‘gained’ 6lbs this week, for once I can actually hand-on-heart say that I am not bothered. The day after 'carb-gate' I was chugging the water, eating clean and fuelling my workouts which is as close to ‘normal’ food behaviour as I have ever come in my life. I ran 12 miles or so over the weekend and did a good weights session Sunday evening, rather than getting into the mindset of ‘Oh I’ve ruined it now, may as well not work out and troff my way through all kindsa crap’ mentality. I just hopped back on the healthy train....because I wanted to, not because I had to. This journey is ongoing and progressive, a permanent lifestyle change, not one governed by a weekly weigh in. For me, this is the shift from losing mode to maintenance mode. Whilst in the throes of losing weight I was driven by the Saturday weigh ins, and it kept me driven with my goal in mind. But now I have to alter my thinking and realise that my weight maintenance has to fit in with my life! So, my new challenge is NOT to get weighed each week, I am going to try a reverse graded exposure on myself, and begin with weighing in every other week and eventually weigh in once a month. That’s the plan at any rate…..I've been at or under my goal weight for 4 months now. Amazing.

My PT re measured my Metabolic Age and body fat and visceral fat etc a few weeks ago and long story short my body is now officially aged 16! WAHOOP! I’ve gained 6lbs of lean muscle and my body fat is 19% which is bloody brilliant!

I am still seeing my PT each week, it’s quite an adventure with some of the insane things he makes me do. He pushes me in ways I would never do for myself – and not just in the conventional sense of being able to do 30 consecutive push ups as opposed to 1, I mean other stuff too, like doing a training session OUTSIDE in my village for all the world to see – things that illustrate to me just how far I have come, how my attitude ahs changed, how my confidence has grown, how different I now am, how different I now look and how /who I want to be. I went running in freaking shorts and a tank top the other day for crying out loud! THAT was a MAAAAAJOR NSV. When I started training I said I wanted Jessica Simpson’s legs and Jennifer Aniston’s arms……stupid and vain I know, but it gave me a visual to work to…and you know what? I’m bloody well there! Or at least the ‘me’ version of those women. Having a PT has been psychologically beneficial as well as everything else!

I am absolutely LOVING learning to box, circuits still make me want to hurl and I detest the spin bike with a passion. However. I can now lift quite a considerable amount of weight, I can do full man push ups, I can run more than 6 miles, my arms look fabulous in a vest top, my back and shoulders and legs are defined, when I do my sun salutations or forward bends or folds there are no fat rolls getting in the way. I WILL be able to do an unassisted pull up one of these days and I shall probably be entering a triathlon in the not too distant future…..it’s GREAT!

The Sunday Times Style Magazine had an article a few weeks ago about how the ‘ideal’ body women pursue and aspire to is changing. Apparently the waif-like, skinny Minnie vibe is O-V-E-R and we’re all about the athletic, honed and toned physique which is indicative of a healthy lifestyle and holisitic approach rather than a do-or-die, murder yourself at the gym and eat nothing OR do-or-die, murder yourself at the gym and eat total crap but the calories you burn allow for it. Both equally disordered if you ask me!

I dunno if this new ‘ideal’ is true or indeed accurate or not (not least because their cover model, though smiley, suntanned and not emaciated, was flipping skinny to my eyes), or if it’s just spin and rhetoric to move the scrutiny over such publications onto something altogether more wholesome and positive BUT what appeals to me greatly about this is that it’s POSITIVE! It’s inclusive, attainable and there’s something in it for everyone! Every single person on this planet can make healthy adjustments to their life, everyone can work on an aspect of their body to improve its health and vitality. This is not an exclusive club to which only the super skinny and determined not to eat can belong! It’s also very personal, bespoke to the individual. How my body looks as a result of training is healthy for me and right for me, but wouldn’t necessarily be right for you. Similarly you might have a physique that I will never ever in my wildest dreams attain but my point is that the key is finding what works for YOU. I am so happy with where I am at and really proud of myself! I have crappy days like everyone does but ultimately because my health is improved (and by that I mean the broad spectrum of health – inside and out, mind and body) my LIFE is improved.

And what, my friends, can be more important than THAT?!

Out of the mouths of babes.....

2010-06-08T13:30:00.001+01:00

So yesterday I went to see a young person I first worked with about 18 months ago. She is ASD and can therefore be relied upon to speak her mind (as can most young people, irrespective of educational additional needs!)

First words out of her mouth??

"You've changed!"

"In a good way?"I asked

"Yes", she replied.

"You used to be.....thicker....and wider......but now you're.......not........and your face was really round and your cheeks stuck out loads but now your face is thin."

Sometimes you just need to hear someone tell it like it is......

L Xoxo
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Click this link!

2010-06-08T13:23:00.000+01:00

http://www.tonyclixby.com/web4/tunnel2010/index6.html

Scroll down and check out images 1591 – 1593......anyone you recognise?! ;)

Heh heh heh!

L xoxo
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FYI

2010-06-04T11:34:00.002+01:00

I survived my run!! it was amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzing! promie I will update this weekend - mad week!

love Lizzie x

Checking in.....

2010-05-26T11:36:00.002+01:00

3 things, I am rushing out the door to college....

1) I went with hubster to the beach on saturday afternoon - major heatwave over the weekend - awesome. I wore a bikini. In public, First time in a loooooonnnnng time. I felt....ok. As in not paranoid. As in comfortable. I swear I kept having to open my eyes and squint at my body just to check it was mine. Weird.

2) Thankfully the heat wave appears to be over in time for Sunday's Mersey tunnel 10k run! My first 10k race EVER! YIKES! I am both petrified and exhilarated.....check it out here

3) There's a website keeps me entertained NO END...and they posted my submission! You can read it here!

Have a great day lovelies xxxx

So far so good

2010-05-18T10:19:00.002+01:00

This week I am adopting a 'Back to Basics' approach....I feel a little as if my eating and body are running away with me after 3 consecutive weekends of total unhealthiness and then the weeks in between spent trying to claw it back! I know myself sufficiently to realise that this will soon become a pattern if I am not careful and don't tend to it straight away!

So, yesterday I managed my 3L water, 3 proper, balanced, healthy meals, no alcohol, no cake, a swift 5k in between assignment writing (due Wednesday, not fun), no bread, stuck to points, got an early night and today I feel like I am back in control.

Maybe it really IS as simple as that?!

Lx

Back to Basics....

2010-05-17T08:46:00.001+01:00

Today I will:-

Drink at least 3L of water

Eat only what I have written on my tracker, pointed, planned and prepared for and not a mouthful more

Work out

Not eat any bread

Not eat any cake, no matter how appealing

NO WINE TILL THE WEEKEND

**********************************************************************************

Last week was a trial to say the least. I am determined that this week will be better.

Here's hoping.....

A LOT can change in a year....

2010-05-06T12:45:00.006+01:00

Remember this? A year ago today I wrote this. And do you know what? It's good to re-read it and remember. I am so proud of myself. And this week, where I have struggled with getting back into good and healthy habits (read 'stopping eating bloody CAKE') after my holiday-of-sorts, it kinda puts things in perspective and, I'll be honest' has pulled me back from the brink of slipping into workout madness in a bid to see a result on the scale this weekend. I cannot live my life like that! In perspective, this is my 3rd month of maintenance. All things considered, it's a jolly good place to be and I have worked HARD to get here. Unfortunately, the hard work ain't over, and as my good friend Jen often says - this healthy vibe is for the rest of our lives. For me this week it has meant trying to eat cleaner, prepare more meals from scratch instead of winging it, getting my workouts in order, and prioritising my health. Because at the end of the day, there's only me who can look after me....so I'm gonna.

Thought it was high time for an updated photo....hahaha. So here I am, ready for a crazy night out in Liverpool with my girls (the night we *should* have been flying out to Gran Canaria). We had a Pirate theme (long story). But it's good to compare this shot with the infamous 'green dress' shot!!

And one final thing before I go, make sure you visit Jack Sh*t for this inspired idea and email in your message!!!!! I've done mine and I am soooo looking forward to seeing what Jack does with our offerings! (Make sure to read the legal disclaimer - lol!)

Have a happy, healthy rest of the week compadres!

Love Lizzie xoxo

OTT

2010-04-29T15:38:00.002+01:00

"Over The Top" or "Over Training Tendencies"? Whatever your view point, both apply. That’s where I’ve been lately. Just in case you were wondering. A month ago. I didn’t mean to take such a hiatus from here. Just kinda happened. Truth be told I took a little bit of a hiatus from my life. So entrenched was I in a world of exercise. Of needing to exercise. Of not even really enjoying it. That my life kinda went down the pan. Odd and slightly crazy time. Thankfully and mercifully I have seen the light and, well, just bloody stopped it. Thanks to the very helpful intervention of several wonderful people. I got myself into a headspace of ‘If I don’t do X,Y,Z at the gym same as I did last week, then I will get fat again’. Ok, so (a) exercise and weight loss do not work on the basis of superstition or repeated patterns, (b) the likelihood of me getting fat again is pretty minimal given the positive changes I have made in my life BUT the same old fear is still there. When I was bigger, I was scared I would never be able to lose weight. Now I have, you would think that my brain would have realised that I did it and thus I wouldn’t be fearful of gaining it all back again. What’s it about? Do I not trust myself? Do I just have to have something to stress over? Or is it deeper than that? Is it ?

So, yes, I got myself into a bit of a pickle. I was absolutely knackered. Had bob all energy. My strength went. I could not sleep at all at night. My legs twitched involuntarily. I was in a full on nark with anyone who mentioned it. I started to down play what I was doing, so if I ran 8 miles I would ‘fess up only to four. I was defensive. It became a compulsion. Just adoring running for running’s sake wasn’t enough. My drive was a compulsion to keep momentum going, My weight dropped even further – not to anything scary, just to 9, 9 but 9,6 is the bare minimum for my height so it was headed that way. I probably lost lean muscle (but I wouldn’t go near the damn ‘magic’ scale at my PT’s to allow him to ascertain it). Eventually he intervened and we devised a behavioural experiment (trying to beat me at my own game…) whereby I allow him total control over my work outs for the next 6 weeks and can only do what’s on the schedule he has devised for me (so, not 4 classes and an 8 mile run all in the same evening –which is what I was doing.) If I ‘get fat again’ (my words, not his) ‘ you can have all your money back’ (his words, not mine).

I massively struggled with this the first week, especially because it was after Easter which was a week long eating and drinking social event fest in my world…but I did it. And I didn’t get fat. The second week….however…the scale said I’d gained 4lbs. Freak out doesn’t even come close. So I was back to crazy workout girl the week after but funnily enough couldn’t as much as I would have liked simply due to busyness. I should have been flying out to the Canary Islands on 17th April. However a certain volcano got in the bloody way. The week before we (should have) left, therefore, I was in a major paddy - all borne out of the abject fear of having to wear a bikini in Spain. But by Friday I was all calm and feeling AMAZING about showing off my new bod and FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER being happy to wear a bikini!

Fecking Volcano…….

So, I’ve had a week off. We went to Abersoch. I ate and drank what I pleased. I chilled out with my friends. I had deep and meaningful conversations. I went to the pub. I went to a baby shower and ate cake. I ran only once. Because I wanted to. Not because I needed to. On the beach. In the early morning. In the surf. On beautiful golden sand. It was magical and divine and felt right. Like a rebirth. Running purely for the sake of adoring it and the fact that I can do it. Not driven by some crazy obsessive compulsion or fear of what might be if I don’t.

Turns out there was light at the end of the tunnel - even one that I didn’t know I was in.

Why oh why did I EVER think that the learning curve would cease when I ‘got to goal’? Nutter.

It’s good to be back. In more ways than one.

L x

Metabolic age, shrinking boobage and other stories…

2010-03-25T15:09:00.002Z

So, by way of an update I have several things to discuss today.

Weigh In – On Saturday I was up by 1.5lbs to 9,12.5. Shocking. I know. Thing is, I went out Friday after training and drank rather a lot of wine with one of my wonderful friend Julia. This then led to much eating of pistachios (the roasted and salted kind, not the healthy kind), which then led to getting in at 1am and eating feta cheese on toast and going to bed at 3am after watching (bizarrely) The Magadalene Sisters.

Now, I realise this is not normal ‘me’ behaviour. But I had a bloody good time AND - this is one of the transformations of mind that I have undergone since getting to goal – is that it’s NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. After all the exercise I did last week and careful eating, there’s no way I gained 1.5lbs of fat. Sure, I properly overindulged Friday night (after a hardcore session of circuit training, I might add!!), right before weigh in – but before I’d got to goal I’d have been so scared to go out on a Friday night. Now, it seems as if there is less importance attached to that Saturday morning number on the scale – which is no bad thing.

Training last week was A-MAZING! I actually love it. We did circuits. I have been getting quite into the whole boxing malarkey of late – on the bag. It started off where Chris would choreograph me like a routine, so jabs and crosses, upper cuts and hooks, but now I have progressed onto ‘freestyling’ which means I go at it hammer and tongs while he times me in minute stints. Seriously good workout. Best of all though, Chris weighed me on the magic scales that calculate all sorts of interesting stuff about your bod. You may recall that the last time I had it measured, in November of 2009, it came back as 33, a couple of years older than my actual chronological age. Apparently you should aim for it to be under your chronological age. So the results came back. My weight was the same as on ww scales, my hydration levels are up considerably (hello! They bloody well should be after religiously chugging 3L of water a day!), by body fat percentage is down to 23% (healthy for my age) from obese levels a year ago, AND my metabolic age has decreased further from 34….to 19! NINETEEN!!! How great is THAT! I feel like Joey in the episode of Friends where he’s all ‘I could pass for 19’ hahaha! So, it’s official – Personal Training does, in fact, reverse the ageing process! J

So far, in all this weight loss and healthy living journey, I can see only 1 negative thing. BYE BYE BOOBS! Yes, they have shrunk to a mere shadow of their former selves *sob* so on Monday I had to go and get measured – which was a traumatic experience made worse by precipitating the necessity for me to then spend £30 on new freakin’ underwear! GRRRRRRR! So, padded bras are the new black for me. God it’s depressing…..but as somebody very wise quipped at me the other day ‘Better flat than fat’ HA! So, not only do I have the body age of a 19 year old, I also have the boobs that I had (or didn’t have) when I was 16. GAH!

In other news, the running is going good. Still slower than I’d like but I’ll get there! Attempted my usual 10k route on Monday afternoon…and completely failed. Had a horrendous pain in my hip flexor at the 6k mark, thought I'd knackered it again... and had to walk for a bit, then tried to run again but to no avail. I gave up. First time that’s ever happened! I’ve never stopped before. I couldn’t stand the impact in my hip. God I was annoyed! A massage Monday night and complete rest day Tuesday (much to my annoyance) seems to have done the trick, because yesterday I was psyched to run and felt good! We knocked out the 10k in 00:56:56 which is my best time yet, it was a much hillier route too so on the flat it’d have been quicker. I kept pace with Chris throughout and sprint finished – my recovery time is getting quicker too! The worst thing I find about running outside I have discovered, is that just when you’re struggling for breath and to take in air, you invariably run past some jackass smoker and get a lungful of disgusting, evil smoke. So inconsiderate.

At Body Pump class this week, there were 2 guys there taking the class for the first time. You may have heard me refer to them as ‘hot gym boys’ in previous posts. They’re the ‘weights’ dudes that hang in the free weights section huffing and puffing and straining and getting ridiculously big traps muscles trying to lift the equivalent weight of a small car….yep, those guys. (really nice guys, not meatheads) So, they swanned into class, got all the heavy plates out and stood a little behind me and to the right – so I could completely see them in the studio mirror. They loaded up their bars for the warm up and off we went. By the time it got to the squat track they were feeling it! Haha! Every time I changed my weight s on the bar I caught one guy checking it out and going heavier on his own bar…and then having to stop half way through the track and lighten it! By the end of the class (shoulder track) I was still doing full push ups on my toes and they were lying down, gasping for breath! It was so funny! I’m not one to laugh at people in the gym – god knows I’ve felt insecure enough in that place in the past, but it was just funny how they were so cocky initially and completely cabbaged by the end! On the way out I got chatting to one of the guys and he called me ‘Superwoman’! he goes ‘You were lifting double the weights I was! I kept trying to go heavier but couldn’t do it!’ I was like ‘I KNOW!’ Dead funny.

And so here we are at Thursday. Might have to have a rethink of workout tonight – possibly just yoga. This girl is tiiiiiiiiired today! And I can’t stop eating! Anyone else get that? All’s I have done all day is graze graze graze.

Hey ho, that’s enough nonsense from me. I’m off to catch up on your worlds.

Lovelove L xoxo

Spring? Is that you?!

2010-03-16T13:14:00.000Z

Currently sitting on a bench in the middle of the town square where I work, in glorious, glorious sunshine, cool breeze, cloudless blue skies above me, and life is good. Not quite warm enough for bare legs or no coat BUT as I sit here - in my winter coat, black tights and suit- I am toasty warm! Oh it's so beautiful out here! Definitely sunglasses weather! The clocks go foward soon (I think) and my most prominent emotion about this is the fact that I'll be able to run in the week during daylight hours! Who'd have thunk it?! This time last year I'd have been more excited about being able to sit in a beer garden at the pub! Hahaha!!!!

Good week thus far. There are exciting things on the horizon, which I want to be a bit more concrete until I reveal on here but suffice it to say that life is sure gonna get interesting!!! (And no, I'm not pregnant before you ask, good grief!)

Having a bit of jip from the old knees this week, which is so very annoying! Had an amazing sunshiney 7 mile run on Sunday- all by myself- it was sooooo good and just what I needed. First time I've run that distance on my own, and managed it in just under an hour so I was very pleased!

Weigh in on sat took me to 9,11 which is great, and still within goal and whatnot so can't complain.

Eating wise all is good- major food comas over the weekend due to a date night with my hub and dinner with the 'rents to celebrate Mother's Day and my brother's birthday. All's I'm saying is my dear mummy MAY have made her legendary lemon drizzle cake, and I MAY have eaten approximately 4 slices of it. Oops. So, straight and narrow it is this week!!!

That's it in a nutshell, time to get back to the grindstone but just wanted to touch base with blogland on this most beautiful of days!

Happy Spring time peeps!

L xoxo
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Hill sprints, chippy chips and the need to stretch...

2010-03-09T15:38:00.000Z

So, that was the weekend, that was! Where did it go? Time seems to be flying by! Lots to catch up on, so here goes.

How was my week?

My week was good. I ate ok, bit same-y as I said last post. So thinking I need to shake that up - but that means being organised and planning ahead - 2 things which are in short supply in my life right now! I'm too busy 'doing' life to actually plan stuff - which is weird and a rare occurrence for me, given my perfectionist tendencies, but there you have it - true story! Tonight though will be a planning evening as - Ta Dah! - I have already got my workout in today! I was up with the larks at 6:30am and ran a quick and speedy 3 miles before work! Don't quite know what came over me but the weather is so beautiful lately that it's inspiring me to get out there and run - I am making the most of it before it starts chucking it down or snowing again or some such nonsense, and I am relegated back to the gym!

Exercise last week was good - I managed to cover over 15 miles during the week and got some weights in too, in the form of BodyPump classes. I kinda miss my sessions on my own with the free weights working through a programme though. Must try and fit one of those in soon. Also been a bit slack on the old swiss ball of late too. There's so much to remember! Might watch last night's Glee later whilst kneeling on my Swiss ball and doing lateral arm raises!!!

The triumph of last week was that big run on Monday and then on Wednesday - I am still buzzing off it! I know is wasn't a loooonnnnng way but to me it's a big run! Also triumphed on Friday with the what-to-eat-and-when-to-eat-it on days when I have PT sessions. Lately I've been so paranoid about not having enough energy to get through the Friday night torture session that I've panicked and overloaded so that I feel heavy and sluggish by 6pm and thus not as effective in training. So last Friday I ate the bulk of my food for the day at breakfast and early lunch so I had time to digest it! Worked a treat - felt much stronger and able to train by 6pm. Such a mad learning process but interesting nonetheless. Sunday night we caved and had chip shop chips - oh-my-god divine, but so very, very wrong. The way I see it though, now I CAN have them once in a while because 90% of my eating and exercising is bang on target these days AND I still have to have a life! So I had a chip butty - made with brown bread, I still cannot eat white! With real butter and chippy chips and mushy peas. SERIOUS. FOOD. HEAVEN.

Weekly weigh In?

Well, this was something of a conundrum. I ate over points all week, but still within my maintenance allowance, worked out (for me) minimally and still managed to lose weight. I now weight 9 st 12.5lbs which is 138.5 lbs which is 62.8kg. Weird. It's only 1lb loss, but still takes me 1.5lbs under goal. Hmmmm….I perhaps need to get Chris to re-measure my metabolic age, body fat and lean muscle and whatnot to see if anything's changed.

How did I do on my goals for last week?

My goals last week were to work out every day -FAIL (but this was because I went for a massage on Thursday so was not able to work out after that!), maximise veggies - FAIL(although the first half of the week was amazing!), minimise carbs - SUCCESS, no alcohol - FAIL (a counted and pointed glass of wine in bath on Tuesday), No bread - FAIL (1 slice of counted and pointed toast with a boiled egg for breakfast on Tuesday - I was starving after that mega 11k run Monday night!), minimise processed food intake - SUCCEED (but I don't eat a lot of processed stuff anyways), stay within points each day - FAIL! (But I was never OVER my maintenance allowance so that's ok! Still getting used to being able to eat more!)

So, all in all, not a bad week at all. I am only human!

What will I do this week?

I still need to get a grip of the weekend. I am fabulous all week long and then Saturday arrives, I get weighed, I heave a sigh of relief and all hell breaks loose! I usually take Saturday as a rest day from exercise, but maybe I should switch that to Tuesday (my late night to work each week) so that I can maximise the potential of the weekend? I dunno. This Saturday just gone I got up early and ran 3 miles before 9am and then went to ww. I've never done THAT before but let me tell you IT FELT GREAT! Totally set me up for the day as I was whizzing around setting up at my aunt and uncle's for the party, cooking for said party and getting ready! Definitely going to try that again this weekend - because it gets a workout out of the way, it doesn't take up a lot of time, I don't have to go to the gym and spend hours there and thus, it means my Saturdays are freed up to actually see people!

But back to this week, I will be just carrying on really - nothing especially different. One of my top priorities is to get to yoga. Ha!

NSV of the week?

Being super good with the vino and champers at the party on Saturday and consequently not being hung-over on Sunday! Hurrah!! AND getting my arse outta bed early on Sat morning to exercise.

What working out will I do this week?

This week is 'Beast it' week. This means a week of working out every day and challenging myself just that little bit harder.

Mon - Body Pump and run
Tues - Run and free weights
Wes - Run, BP, swim
Thurs - Run, BP, yoga
Fri - training
Sat- early am run
Sun - BP and Combat

I was also going to do a pilates class on Monday night but instead went running outside with Chris again and did punishing hill sprints over a 50 minute period - basically sprinting up a hill between 2 lamp posts as markers, as fast as you can, then jogging back round the block to the bottom of the hill and doing it all over again. By the 4th rep I was completely cabbaged. Handy hint…when you're speed running and you get fatigued, focus on your arms and pretend you're pulling a rope each time you stride forward. Sounds daft but totally works!! I managed 6 reps of the dreaded hill sprint and then we did a little 4k-er to wind down. Much more fun than pilates but I NEED to prioritise yoga on Thursday because I can feel my legs caning to be sttttretttchedddd……!

Any Other Business

I got an email from Women's Running UK magazine yesterday! They are a fairly new magazine here in the UK and they wanted emails from readers saying why they loved running. I replied and their editor contacted me to ask if they could print my email and a picture ! HAHAHA! How funny is THAT! I am famous.

And with that, dear ones, I will leave you. Keep blog-a-loggin'!

Heaps of love

Lizzie xoxo

------------------

"You're going to put your elbow WHERE???!!" and other news....

2010-03-05T12:26:00.002Z

Happy Friday! So, I survived my mega-run with Chris my PT on Wednesday. We were laughing a LOT because Wednesday morning it was soooo flipping cold! Thankfully by 2pm-ish, the sun had come out and by 3pm we were ready to rock. I was so nervous! This man runs half marathons like they’re 5k! We set off – him at a sprint, me following - utterly dismayed, thinking wtf have I got myself into? - behind. Mercifully, he was just winding me up, and he slowed down to a much more comfortable pace. We had a great run – the route was HARD, and involved lots of hills! Chris took charge of the route so all I needed to focus on was not falling over and breathing! Honestly, roads and pavements around my neighbourhood are so uneven. Shocking. To my surprise and delight, I was able to keep up with him and match stride for stride, although he did slow his pace to run at mine, but not by too much. I even managed a couple of hill sprints and a sprint finish! All in all we did 7 miles in an hour. Not too shabby! I was well buzzing! Another big indicator for me of my increased cardio vascular fitness level was that I was able to chat to Chris throughout our run, rather than wanting to pass out from not being able to catch my breath! IT WAS GREAT and I am really psyched to go out again. I never ever thought I’d be able to sling my runners on and get out there for 7 miles – it’s hard to explain but the very fact of being ABLE to do that totally amazes me. And remember, I haven’t been at this for ages, it was only January I was able to work my way back up to the 5k mark and I never thought that running for in excess of 30 minutes would become par for the course!! Just shows you what you can do if you set your mind to it (and get a bit clued up on how to do it by someone who know what they’re on about!)

So, yeah, suffice it to say I was pretty darn pleased with that little trot around the neighbourhood!

However……..then it was Thursday. Erm….OW!!!!!!!!! Dear Lord above I was in SO MUCH PAIN!!!! I have no idea HOW I managed to exercise before I knew about my IT Band! They were both super-tight the morning after and right into my hip flexors and even my knee caps too! I am decrepit! I stretched LOADS when I got in too, and Thursday morning! Gah! Thank God my PT is also a sports massage therapist. I went last night for a good going over on my legs. The pain is like nothing I have ever experienced. I know it's beneficial because this morning I feel GREAT but, seriously, the pain is intense...but kind of in a good way? That weird fine line between pleasure and pain? Just me?? haha! I dunno :) – I don’t know if you’ve ever had a sports massage, but ‘massage’ doesn’t seem to me to be the correct term for it. Massage should be all relaxing and chilled and indulgent. Perhaps a better term for what I experienced would be ‘torture’. At times there were tears in my eyes as elbows were prodded around various parts of my anatomy. Good grief. There is absolutely no room for dignity or prudishness either! Not when your trainer’s elbow is in your glutes. Howwwwww embarrassing! YIKES THAT HURTS! At one point I had to bite on my own hand, it was that intense. But totally worth it, because as I said, this morning I feel fine, and like I can run again which is good!

We chatted a lot about sports nutrition too (in between me yelling in agony and him laughing at me), and I have been reading about this a lot this week in my spare time, just trying to educate myself a bit more about what I need to put into my body to get the best out of it. You all KNOW that I adore ww, and that this way of eating and counting points and tracking suits me down to the ground. However, sometimes sticking to points means I don’t eat enough to fuel my runs/weights. And when I get in from 7/8miles I don’t want to cook a big meal but instead crave things like cashew nut butter on oatcakes – a big ww no-no because the points values are so high. So part of my adjustment into maintenance is going to be about looking more closely at the quality of what I am eating, and knowing how it will fuel the work outs, not just eating something simply because it’s low in points. Whole new world, people, a whole new world.

Whilst we’re on the subject of maintenance, allow me to update. I think it’s going ok. As I said, I’ve gained a pound since 13th Feb. Rachel says this is ok and that it’s all about experimenting really – trial and error. I think the main thing I have noticed is that I am bit bored with my food this week. I wonder if my system is getting too used to what I’m eating? Can that even happen? I feel the need to shake things up a bit so have pledged to do that next week. I tend to have the same ‘go to’ foods when I’m busy or distracted or focussed on something other than eating (rare!!) plus the fact that I am a creature of habit and routine so I get stuck quite a lot. Time to shake it up I think! This week, for example, I have eaten a lot of pineapple where before that I have been in an apple phase. Even such a little insignificant change has made it more interesting and changed my eating habits a bit.

This week in my office (where there are 4 other women, all of whom are in their 40’s and 50’s so, older than me) one of my colleagues had a birthday. So she bought in cake. Not just any cake. Carrott cake. THE cake of ALL cakes. To me, at least. I REALLY WANTED SOME! And because it was Sainsbury’s organic range it worked out that ¼ of it was only 1.5points – sounds crazy but is nonetheless true! I really enjoyed it. Before I hit goal I would have denied myself that pleasure – a sacrifice for the scale gods in anticipation of weigh in, but at maintenance it’s a different story. I feel that I CAN be less strict with myself these days. So, when my lovely husband bought me a glass of wine and small bowl of popcorn on Tuesday night as I was in the bath(TMI??!!!) trying to ease the post-run DOMS, I gladly accepted, whereas before I would have totally got mad at him and refused the treats because I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT AND DON’T YOU KNOW ME BUT AT ALL YOU GIANT DOOFUS STOP TRYING TO SABOTAGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE or words to that effect.

All in all this is a much nicer way to be. And now that I have learnt to control my eating, a small treat is entirely different from a giant binge. It’s as if, I dunno, my perspective has shifted? This is the biggest deal about maintenance to me.

I have noticed too that my perception of what is beautiful has also changed. By this I mean that I have long been a subscriber to Vogue (UK and US if you must know). I get the whole health argument about not more size zero models, really I do, but you know what, in my head, a skinny girl is always going to look more beautiful than a bigger girl. I KNOW THIS IS WRONG PLEASE DON’T HATE ME! I AM TRYING TO CHANGE IT!! I have been conditioned (not solely by the media, before I get sued by Vogue!) to think that skin and bone and angles equates with beauty. Now that is shifting as I watch my own body transform and muscles become defined and my shape alters yet again and yes I fit into smaller clothes and I am more streamlined but toned and defined and almost athletic looking! It’s really REALLY weird! During the back track in BodyPump class on Weds (only done one class this week – go me! Not being obsessive! YAAYYYYYY!) I was mesmerised as I watched myself clean and press 6 times in a row. My arms look fabulous (even if I do say so myself!) sure, they’re skinny, but toned and defined NOT waif-like! Weird.

Having focused so much on outdoor running this past few weeks, I am really missing my gym time. So next week is going to be a ‘beast it’ week. Not OVER training, but pushing myself to workout everyday and put in some good solid hours at the gym, with my new programme that involves running a very fast kilometre in between each super set that targets a specific area. I am going to be cabbaged, but conditioned! So that’s next week – all the more reason to eat right over the weekend. I am going to try an early morning run tomorrow before weightwatchers to see how that feels - watch this space! And do a couple of classes on Sunday to kickstart my week. I checked my proposed schedule out with C last night and he doesn’t think it’s overdoing it so I’m gonna push on and see what happens.

I am so glad it’s Friday! The sun is shining, I have training tonight, and people over then Saturday I am catching up with my gorgeous friend Julie and her equally gorgeous baby, Bethany and then going to a fabulous party! Bring on the weekend!

Hope you’re all good, wherever you are, and that you have a lovely weekend indeed!

Massive love

Lizzie x

I heart running....

2010-03-03T12:01:00.001Z

I gained a pound this week. I actually thought I would be more annoyed than I am. But, turns out, I’m actually not that annoyed. I know what to do to pull it back and that’s what I’m doing this week!

Today I want to talk about running. I absolutely love it. On Monday I could not wait to get home, throw on my running gear and get out there. The weather was so gorgeous. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still full on freezation BUT the skies were blue, cloudless and the sun was just gorgeous! The promise of Spring is within our reach and I just felt…..amazing. I’m so glad I can move. I so glad I have legs. I’m so glad that I’ve found this thing that I never thought I’d be able to do. And I am astounded at how much I love it!

Monday was my personal best so far (and only about the 10th time I have EVER run outdoors in my life) I ran 7 miles in 67 minutes, which is way faster than my treadmill pace, for some reason I didn’t think it would be! I never thought I’d be able to give up the treadmill, it fits so comfortably with my need to control, but running outside felt so freeing and challenging in a completely different way. My biggest challenge on the treadmill is to ignore the clock and zone out, focusing on putting one foot in front of another, and getting to the distance goal I set. Running outside is not like that – I tend to work in stages rather than distance, it’s rather helpful not having a neon display in front of you at all times – even when I cover it with my towel I am still sorely tempted to peek! The regular route I’m running now I am getting to know the surfaces, the hills, hard bits, bits where I can speed up, where I need to slow down, and unlike on a treadmill, it’s much more ‘organic’ running – by this I mean that I am not ‘sitting’ in my hips and letting my legs propel me forward in the manner of Road Runner, it’s more of a whole body engaged thing. There’s things to look at, and actually it’s hard to let yourself daydream away because you might trip or get run over or have any one of a whole host of potential hazards happen to you! On my ‘final stage’ of my route, I run down my road, which is a nice gentle hill. The pavement on either side is quite uneven so I tend to run on the actual road (in my glow-in-the-dark stuff!) and about half way down there is a gargantuan pothole in the middle of the road and I always make sure I look to avoid it! If I were daydreaming away you can bet your butt I’d end up sprawled all over the show having tripped! I am a clumsy-ass at the best of times!! Especially since it was dark when I completed the route!

I’ve pretty much done all my long runs (well, long for me as a beginner anyway!) on a treadmill – those 10k I was doing once a week were all treadmill runs, but yesterday I wanted to see if I could match that in the real world. So when I set off at about 5:45pm it was light, sunny and gorgeous. I tried not to set myself too big a goal and just pay attention to my body and how I felt. It was hard, don’t get me wrong, but I definitely feel as if I am getting fitter – and more able to pace myself and breathe and actually enjoy it rather than it being a total slog and not fun at all!

The 3rd lap was pretty tough, about mile 4/5 and I slowed down, but as soon as I caught my breath I was able to push it again. I felt tremendous when I’d finished!!! Knees sore, IT band on BOTH legs sore but I stretched and stretched and got in a hot bath and massaged the pain away. Day after, I felt like an old woman but repeated my treatment last night and today I’m fit as a fiddle!

Chris the PT and I are going running today at 3pm *gulp* ‘I know a good 10k route’ he said……I’m slightly scared!

I’ll be back with an update. Wish me luck!!!!!

2010-02-25T16:56:00.000Z

Ok, here’s what I don’t get. When you’re fat, nobody tells you that you are. When you lose weight, people initially encourage you, but then as you succeed with that continued weight loss, they admonish you and feel that they have the right to tell, command, order you to stop. People tell you that your continued efforts to maintain a healthy weight, your new body, your new found passion for health and fitness by being wise about what you eat is tantamount to disordered eating and that you need to stop it.

And THEN those same people spend half an hour chewing your ear off about how fat they feel and how they wish they had your will power. They say things like ‘all things in moderation’ and then post on facebook that they’ve eaten an entire box of chocolates! They tell you off for spending time at the gym and then say things like ‘I’m on a starvation diet for my holiday in 8 weeks’.

When you’ve lost weight and people notice, they feel within their rights to tell you ‘you look tired’, or ‘you’ve lost enough’ as if you yourself are not capable of determining such things.

When you’ve lost weight, people assume that you must be starving yourself, or subsisting on Special K, or SlimFast or Ryvita. Those same people claim to be ‘ on a diet’ and then facebook that they’ve eaten a small salad or a bowl of soup for their lunch and are now starving but will wait it out until dinner time.

This has been my experience this week.

I have been at a conference today of all my colleagues who work in my department. This was in excess of 300 people. Many of these people I haven’t seen for over a year. Several did not recognise me. Several did ‘double takes’. One particular individual who has a gastric band but tells everyone she developed a fast metabolism told me categorically not to lose anymore weight or I would ‘fall down a grid’.

In short, not one person had a positive comment to say – apart from one very lovely colleague who asked how I’d done it. Apparently I have become a weight loss/exercise evangelist of sorts because we were talking for aaaaaaages!

This is what I know to be true:

I have lost 40lbs.
I am fitter, healthier, leaner, more toned and motivated than I have ever been.
I am NOT eating disordered.
I do NOT starve myself.
I do NOT deprive myself of everything that I love and then binge in a moment of weakness.
I have found a way of eating that suits me.
I have found a place where I am happy in myself
I love exercise and count it as a priority in my life, but no higher a priority then friends and family.
My mental health is greatly improved
I am more joyful
I am more aware of my world and how I relate to it.

Also:

I CAN be and HAVE (in the past) been eating disordered
I CAN be prone to over-exercising

HOWEVER

I am not there now! If only people could see behind the weight loss and see the good and significant psychological shift that has taken place in me. It’s taken an age to get here! A real battle and struggle!

I run because I love to run not because I am afraid of the calories I have consumed and must get rid of if I am to lose weight. I lift weights because I love the powerful feeling it gives me and how it sculpts my body, not because I am going for maximum calorie burn. I control what I eat by sticking to points, emphasising filling, clean foods and not overdosing on crap. I do not deny myself anything. Not denying myself any food/drink is not the same as giving in to temptation each and every day. Eating on ww means I continue to make healthy and sensible choices because I have gone too far to go back now and worked too hard. Plus I LIKE how my body feels and functions when it’s filled with health rather than utter sh*te.

I have been reflecting on external validation a lot this week and in particular what that means for me. I think I am someone who very much needs that external validation. I don’t mean compliments. I don’t mean to boost my ego. What I mean is, the picture of me in that green frock (last post) was at my dear friend Julie’s wedding. When I got dressed that morning I felt like I looked beautiful and slim and all ‘sex and the city’ for a fabulous occasion. I did not see the fat. When I compare it to a photograph of how I look now, I see it. I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS FAT. And sure, arguably I was never clinically obese etc butt his was my journey. I didn’t see what I had done to my body. I did not feel the hatred I expressed towards it in overfeeding and under-exercising it. It was a form of self harm. The worse about myself I felt, the more I ate.

I need that external validation in my life to reassure me. But it can only come from certain people. Friends are no good because (generally speaking) they never tell you when you’re fat and they are kind of obliged to tell you you’re hot and look good. Ditto for family members, ditto for significant others.

So, when people I respect tell me that I look good, it resonates and I feel confident and reassured, and this in turn helps quash the temptation to over do it, to just lose another half a stone, to just run another mile on top of everything else you’ve done today etc etc etc.

Last night at the gym I had run 5 miles outside, I then did BodyPump, I then swam a few lengths (about 20) to chill my legs out. As I was getting dressed I was (for the first time ever) brave enough in the changing room to stand in my underwear. I caught sight of myself and thought ‘you can go on holiday in April with the girls and be pleased with that body’. Almost immediately, that rational thought was replaced with ‘But you thought you looked ok last time you went on holiday, and look how you feel about those pics!’

Then I recalled ‘Perfect Gym Girl’ saying to me earlier that evening how good I was looking. I recall the yoga teacher saying my arms looked great. I recall my trainer saying that I am ‘definitely getting there’ in terms of changing body shape and tone and fitness. These are people whose opinions I respect, so it makes a difference. I know they’re not just bs-ing me.

I also remembered that this body just ran 5 miles and lifted some serious weights and does all I demand of it and then some.

And then I felt good.

So, despite all the haters today I choose to remember that what I have achieved is GOOD and not indicative of obsessive or negative behaviour.

L xoxo

Before and Forever....and 40lbs inbetween....

2010-02-24T10:03:00.002Z

'Nuff said, hey?!

Maintenance 101

2010-02-24T09:51:00.002Z

So, I’ve had a week or so to come back down to earth after reaching the heady heights of goal. First of all, I need to say a huge THANKYOU to you all for your lovely comments on my getting-to-goal post last week. Quite simply, I could not have done it without you! Seriously. Blogging has been (and will continue to be) such a valuable tool for me. I’ve learnt so much through it and through ‘knowing’ you all! ThAnK YoU!

This first week and a bit of this elusive thing called ‘maintenance’ has been, well, odd. It isn’t actually that different from trying to lose weight, and yet it is entirely different....! I’m still counting my points and tracking and exercising and noting my hunger levels and trying to graze through the day and focus on filling foods and not eating processed crap. But somehow, the stakes seem higher! It’s like balancing on a tightrope. I worked so hard to get balanced on the tight rope, one false move could see me fall – ie the way I eat and control this maintenance malarkey could result in the scales going up or down. Whilst obviously I’m not too bothered if they go down, I have promised myself that I will do this sensibly and healthily. I STILL WILL freak out if they go up - that's just a given. I'm trying to be less strict with myself but it ain't easy!

My first weigh in as a Gold Member last Saturday showed that I had managed to stay the same. This is good, no?! There was a little frisson of disappointment at not having lost weight after 7 consecutive weeks of doing so, but I soon reminded myself that I have a different set of expectations now. It’s almost like starting again.

I sent the following email to Caro, my Motivational Match Up Partner courtesy of MizFit and lovely Jen Prior Fat Girl, on Monday:-

“Now I'm at goal maintenance must surely be about balancing weight and activity with real life. The hard slog is done - ie the getting to goal, but now the consistent approach is needed. I've prioritised this above pretty much everything else for the past year and especially in recent months, but now I feel like I can give myself permission to slow down a little...this in itself is a big revelation, but the immediate automatic thought that follows it is 'this is what happened last time and you gained all the weight and then some back again' !! Abject terror of being fat again will keep me on plan but the pace I was going at is not sustainable for every single day of the rest of my life !

So I feel a bit at a loss really. I also feel....scrutinised? People notice and comment on what I am eating more, people notice me and comment more, I find it weird, disconcerting and downright rude in some cases. !!

I've spent so long wanting to get 'there' and now I'm 'there' it's weird! I feel as if I have to reassess my relationships with people, my wardrobe, my attitudes to people, my life, my goals.....very very odd feeling! “

That pretty much sums up where I’m at with the maintaining thing! It’s like starting again and is just as much a psychological shift as a physical one.

On a practical note I upped my points from 18 to 21 per day. I should be on 24 according to the book you get but it also suggests a slow increase, maybe one or two points a week to see how your weight and body fares on that increase. It’s all a matter of experimentation I guess. I suppose my experiment was successful this week judging by weigh in, but I desperately want not to live week-by-week from weigh in to weigh in and to be able to do this instinctively rather than by counting. I want to be able to let go of the control enough not to have to track and to use the tools I have to monitor my intake and activity. Can that happen do you think? I really admire the Gold Members that I weigh at our meeting a couple of times a year or every month. I would love to be in that place, but right now I’m just learning – a whole different kind of learning than when I was trying to lose. There’s a lot of it that’s about (for me at least) accepting that I’m DONE with losing weight, and resisting the temptation to go further. I’m not anywhere near skinny and have 8lbs before I hit the minimum weight for my height, so I’m not in the danger zone or anything but accepting that the losing thing is now over and trying to stay on track and be healthy is the priority. Of course, gaining all the weight back freaks me out and helps me to err on the side of caution.

I really don’t want to lose my impetus or motivation, but I also can’t realistically sustain the pace I was going at – I miss my life!! It was all well and good for the final ‘push’ to get to goal but now I need to be realistic. I need to figure out a routine that works for me. Of course, I won’t be spending 2+ hours in the gym every night as the Spring comes (no sign of it yet though – still bloomin’ snowing!) and as the nights get lighter – because I’ll be able to whizz home, throw on my running gear and hit the pavement! I can’t wait for that! I’ve never been into running when it’s Spring or summer – I’ve never really been into running before ever so it’s a whole new journey to be excited for!

Yesterday I lost the plot a bit with eating. The reason? I was annoyed at the weather. Yes it was THAT irrational. I sabotaged myself with pitta and houmous and a few glasses of wonderful Sauvignon Blanc on top of a day’s healthy and filling eating because I was pissed off. ERROR! How stupid is that!! I haven’t done that in yonks! So today I need to hop back on it and be strict with myself – not to mention get my backside in the gym! Yesterday evening is exactly what I used to do 3 or 4 times a week! No wonder I gained flipping weight! Ridiculous. I imagine I’ll have gained this week at weigh in – all the more reason to keep counting those points. I am an idiot!

Maintenance hey? Who’d have thunk it’d be trickier than the weight loss in the first place!??!

Love L xoxo

GGGGGGOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!

2010-02-13T16:15:00.003Z

Get IN!!! I bloody well DID IT!!!!! This morning's weigh in? 9 stone 13.5lbs! I lost 1lb which takes me under my goal of 140 to 139.5lbs (63.2kg).

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!

Here I am flashing my Gold Membership Pack for WW. I am so excited! Cannot believe I did it. Feels very weird. More thoughts to come, but for now I'm just going to buzz!!!

Hope you're all having a fabulous weekend...I AM!!!

Heaps of love

Lizzie xoxo

Take THAT, weird voices in head!

2010-02-06T13:42:00.004Z

So after yesterday morning's teetering-on-the-brink-o'-madness (again), I was very quickly set right by (a) my own good sense and determination and (b) you wonderful people who commented and tweeted/texted/emailed/BBM'd me. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I am pleased to report that the crazy episode has now passed and I am FIIIINE.

Yesterday I ate:

B -40 porridge with skimmed milk and an apple
L - 20 cashews, another apple, vegetable soup and a ww peanut bar
Snacks - a banana, more cashews and 3 litres of water
D - salmon and grilled veggies with a tsp of philly mixed in

19 points. DONE. Didn't have to force myself, it was a normal day. PHEW!

I worked out with Chris at 6pm....first time in all of 11 months of seeing him that I haven't enjoyed it. Wasn't at all in the right frame of mind to have my butt kicked. I was just so tired. Memo to me: don't do 2 classes and run the NIGHT BEFORE A PT SESSION. Duh! What a giant doofus I am ! He said, quite rightly, that I KNOW how hard I have to work on a Friday night so there's no use being knackered - especially since I am paying for the privilege! So this Thursday I'm just going to either do yoga or swim, that's it. No weights. No running. And then I will be much more up for it on Friday night. Excellent plan.

I bet your wondering how weekly weigh in went? Well, suffice it to say that I am pleased. Again. ANother 2lbs off! WOOT WOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

That takes me to a grand total of 39lbs lost (17.69kg, 2 stone 11lbs)!! This morning I weighed in at 10 st 0.5lbs (63.7kg, 140.5lbs)

BLOODY HELL!!!!

I never ever thought I'd be there so soon after getting to 'old' goal. Weird. Still not entirely sure where to set 'new' goal. I think 140lbs is fine, or just under. I'm not sure I could (or should) attempt any less. 9 stone 6 is my 'minimum' at 5,8 tall - but this doesn't take into account my body composition or anything so I figure I might as well set goal at 140lbs and then use my monthly weigh ins with Chris to monitor changes.

But that all depends on this week really. I'm only in work 3 days (THANK GOD! - after last week I thought I would go insane!!!! 4 nights out of 5 working till 8pm is NOT GOOD!) so I'll be able to really plan and cook and track and exercise at different times of the day rather than cramming it all in to one evening.

NSV's this week have included

- getting a mention on the Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone podcast!! Ep 8 available now! It's REALLY FUNNY hearing something I wrote read out in lovely dietgirl's dulcet tones! If you haven't heard it yet then you can find the links and all the info here http://www.twofitchicks.org/ Wise words from 2 fabulous gals!

- being able to do a set of lateral arm raises whilst kneeling unsupported on the Swiss ball!!! How good is that!!!! Flipping well KILLS your thighs but such a challenge for core stability.

- I've focused on speed work this week with running rather than long runs (mainly because I've been so pushed for time) so I am pleased to report that my 5k time is now 25 mins on average, it was 31-35 mins so that feels pretty damn splendid to know. As does the realisation that I can just simply run for 3o minutes+ these days and not want to die. It's weird yet fascinating and holds more appeal and significance than a figure on the scale!

- I got totally chatted up in a bar on Saturday night! I know I am a married woman - and very happily so - but it was a teeny tiny bit thrilling to realise that I was being hit on! HAhahaha! Is that totally shallow?! I can't decide. Nor can I decide whether to be offended or not that now I have lost weight men seem to notice me more - men that I know too! - than when I was bigger. Shocking really. My personality hasn't changed! I'm still me. Or am I? This is something I need to have a think about and update later, right now I'm too happy for a big deep and meaningful thought process!!

It's Saturday afternoon, beautiful blue sky, still cold but feeling very Spring-like - I'm all alone in my beautiful flat, Rich is watching Liverpool vs. Everton or some such other earth shatteringly important football thingy, so I've got a few hours to just....be. I haven't done that in so long! I'm not going to exercise one iota today - I promised I would take a rest day, and I need to. So lovely friends, I'm gonna dash, have a lovely weekend dudes and see ya in the week!

Much love

L xoxo

Before I chicken out...

2010-02-05T07:52:00.001Z

.....I need to say this.

Friends, today is a day not unlike many I have had before. Thankfully said days occur few and far between now. Today, however, is one of them. Today is a day where it is difficult to eat. So enchanted am I with this suddenly-visibly-new body of mine, so delighted with muscle tone and angles and leanness and bones and flat stomach that as I stand here, in the kitchen, to eat my porridge made with skim milk, that little, almost-forgotten voice that lives deep within pipes up...."You don't have to eat that..." Just a hint, a suggestion. Nothing too drastic. But nevertheless it is there.
Here's what I know:

Last night I did BodyPump, ran 4 miles and did 90 minutes of yoga.

This morning my body needs fuel.

I am tired and fatigued. This morning my body needs fuel.

I'm seeing my trainer this evening. This morning my body needs fuel.

If I think of it like that, it seems easier.

Just needed to get that off my chest....

Xoxo
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Quickie!

2010-02-03T13:47:00.002Z

Minds out of the gutter please people!

Just stopping by in the middle of what is turning out to be a thoroughly BONKERS week in the busyness department, to say hello and update you.

I just ate ONE cheese Dorito. I feel cheap.

So after the cocktails/Maccies/Diet Coke debacle that was the weekend, I am pleased to report being back in healthy town. There has been much chugging of water, much eating of vegetables, fish, lean meat and porridge and cashew nuts. There has been exercise: specifically speed work and weights on Monday and 5k and BodyPump yesterday. Today it is lonnnng run day (well, long for me, at any rate) which WAS going to be outside but it's BLOODY WELL SNOWING AGAIN so it'll have to be the treadmill. Never mind, I have the all new Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone podcast to listen to AND a few newly downloaded Glee cast tracks. God bless the iPod.

Apart from that, there's nowt much else to report really. Things are ticking on nicely! Hopefully the work week should calm down a bit now and I'll be off to yoga Thursday night and then my PT session to kick off the weekend.

This is a really crap post - SORRY!!! I really will be back at the weekend after weigh in with some juicier topics for discussion!

Until then amigos mios,

L xoxo

Confession time.....

2010-01-31T14:03:00.002Z

...this weekend I have:

- drunk Diet Coke for the first time in a lonnnnnnng time.

- eaten McDonald's for the first time in a lonnnnnnng time.

My body thinks I've poisoned it.

Oops.

xoxo

Weekend Weigh In....

2010-01-30T12:48:00.003Z

The result? 10 stone 2.5 lbs/142.5 lbs/64.6 kg

This is another 2lbs off, people, how very excellent!!!!

*Doin' the happy dance*

I must dash, brunch is ready - I am celebrating this week's loss with poached eggs on toast with wilted spinach and fresh coffee....mmmmmm!!!!

Have a great weekend !!

love love Lizzie xoxo

Yoga-tastic

2010-01-28T22:12:00.001Z

Tonight was the first yoga class I have done in many years where my ability to hold and go deep in the postures was not hampered by huge rolls of fat around my abdomen.

It was weird.....

L xoxo
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Running and eating and eating and running...questions!!!!!!!

2010-01-27T12:35:00.001Z

Hallo people! I have questions today! Ayudame por favor!!

Item 1 on the agenda: running at night. In the dark. On your own. To do, or not to do? What precautions do I take? Aside from letting someone know where I'm going, expected time back, and taking a key what else should I be doing? I wore my very fetching glow-in-the-dark running top but essentially I was all alone. I got in last night about 9pm after work and needed to clear my head, it was too full of thoughts! The old Lizzie would have got in the bath with a glass o' vino or vegged on her arse in front of the tv, but the new me rather fancied going for a run, a little one (because it wasn't on the actual activity plan for the week- remember Monday?!?!) So I donned my gear and I was off! Never ever thought I'd be that kinda gal, but there you have it!! It was amazing! I just did the circuit round my little village that I've run before with the boys and that is familiar so I didn't have to think too much about where I was going and was fairly close to home. I didn't really feel vulnerable at any point, it was mostly.....invigorating! Haven't been out on my own in sooooo long! I did about half an hour's worth, 2 circuits of my village so about 3 miles. Job's a good'un! So by the time I got back home I was starvacious indeed......and it was 9:30pm or thereabouts!

Which brings me to item #2 on the Agenda for today's post....

- fitting it all in!! I had eaten lunch (salmon and salad with cashews) at about 2pm to help my bod recover from Monday's killer weights AND to tide me over during working till 9pm. So I wasn't hungry particularly at 8pm ish and felt ok when running but then was starving!! I'd planned to make pasta with chicken to eat half last night and the remainder for an early lunch on weds (because I have uni weds afternoon and then it's long run day- treadmill as it turns out, given that it's currently hooning it down). BUT at half 9 at night who the heck wants to eat pasta, let alone bloody well cook it??!! EsPECIaLLY when I had to be in bed early (again, in accordance with my plan!!) Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!!! How DO I FIT IT ALL IN!!!! What to do?! Eat cereal for dinner (not the best refuel!) Or go with the pasta?

I made the pasta and ate half, but then had to stay up till 11 but I felt fine this morning, not stuffed and the scale was kind so perhaps I am stressin about nowt?! I dunno!! Help! How do you balance refuelling your body post-workout with. Nutrition and bed times?! Hahaha! I am gonna drive myself insane!!!!

I guess I'll know if the experiment was a success or not if I can run later on this afternoon! If I'm hungry I won't be able to sustain a long distance, if I'm too full and carbed up to the eyeballs,I won't either!!!!!

All input welcome!!!!!!

Much love

Lizzie xoxo

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Weekly Goals...

2010-01-25T15:28:00.001Z

Hello comrades, how’s tricks?

Had far too much fun on Saturday night and went to bed at 3am (sober!) which meant Sunday was kind of a non-starter. Snaps to my lovely hubby for politely suggesting I do the 5:30pm BodyPump class to redeem the day and, as he put it, ‘start the week right’. What a guy! The endorphins kicked in, I upped the weights in bicep and tricep tracks, just to see if I could do it, and I did!! Still going easy on the leg tracks (squats and lunges) just to be on the safe side injury-wise. I had a good swim and steam too

Just stopping by to post some weekly goals as a reminder to myself to GET IT DONE! A mixed bag this week, trying to focus on ‘self’ as well as just eating and exercise…..little experiment. We shall see!!

Here goes:

- When people comment on my weight loss, I am going to aim to try and see this in the spirit it is intended – i.e. that people care about me and thus not interpret it negatively or as judgement.
- Practice (perfect?!) kneeling on the Swiss Ball – this came from training Friday night. Apparently there’s all sorts of stuff you can do once you have the kneeling part right – how very Cirque du soleil! Just another little challenge to keep me busy!
- Speedwork/Intervals – stick to one long run a week and in between begin speedwork again. I was doing this just before the IT Band debacle and we did a little bit on Friday to test it and all seemed fine - I also need to run at an incline every so often too.
- Go to bed early every night this week – like, at 10pm. I am sooooo tired and it’s beginning to turn me into a right ol’ cross patch so need to sort it out – spare room here I come hahaha!
- Not doing BodyPump AND running 10k in the same evening. Apparently, this is considered ‘overdoing it’.

Activity plans for the week: Idea being that if I plan it I will stick to it and not go overboard.

Monday – speedwork/intervals on treadmill 30 mins, pilates 1 hour, weights at home and more balancing on that freakin ball.
Tuesday – nada – late clients - maybe a little balance and weights in PJ’s in front of the tv!
Weds – long run – preferably outside (weather permitting)
Thurs – (BodyPump) and Yoga plus swim
Fri – PT
Sat – rest
Sun – treadmill run (HIIT) BodyPump and swim

Food issues:

- Eat more ‘proper’ main meals. Does anyone else have this issue? By the time I’ve finished work, worked out and got home and showered it’s practically bed time!!! And the last thing I feel like doing is eating a proper meal.
- Get involved with vegetables a bit more – I may be at risk of getting scurvy J
- Eat carbs on Tuesday night ready for the big run on weds – I have done this the past few weeks and it seems to work – food as fuel, right?!
- Water water water. Nuff said.

Danger points for week:

Friday I am off work to spend it with my mummy & sister for our mummy’s birthday, so we are off out to lunch and shopping. I have swapped my PT session for Friday morning so hopefully I’ll start as I mean to go on. I am sure there will be wine involved in the day but if I’ve begun with a workout I am far less likely to go overboard.

Saturday evening I am going out with the girls for Julie’s bday, there will almost certainly be cocktails involved and champagne I imagine so I will adopt my ‘drink water in between’ tactic. I might even run a bit on Saturday before the event…we’ll see.

So that’s the plan, Stan!!

Have a good day my dears!

Love BFP xoxo

Weekend Weigh-In and Progress Pics Update...

2010-01-23T14:01:00.008Z

And a very happy weekend indeed to you all, my Blogland chums! How are we all doin'?

I am doin' great! At weigh in this morning I lost a further 1.5lbs and hit my 35lbs lost total! So that was good. This means I am now 10 stone 4.5lbs/144.5lbs/65.5kg.

At this point I think that it might get tougher to lose as I seem to remember last time I was this weight (in,like, January 2007) that it got hard and I seemed to stick around 143lbs for ages. This time however, I realise I am working out so much more now and in and educated way, so I figure it'll come off.

I've been thinking about my progress a lot this past week. It's been one of those weeks where people seem to have noticed all of a sudden that I've lost weight and feel they can comment on it. I have worked really hard at being able to say thank you and accept comments or compliments (there was a time when everything in me would have wanted to scream 'Don't look at me!!' - God bless Cognitive Therapy!) and it's great when people notice. I mean, I notice a BIG difference, but it's my body and I obsess about it everyday- other people don't notice, however much we think they do.

What I have noticed though, is a sort of 'negative backlash' concerning my loss of flab...perhaps that's too strong a term, but there seem to be quite a few people telling me to "start maintaining" and don't lose anymore" and "aren't you skinny enough?". Suddenly, every bugger seems to have an opinion and, apparently, the right to voice it! I would never dream of saying anything like that to anyone!! Maybe it's my disordered history talking and colouring my perspective on this, but it just seems so......personal?

The way I see it is this: I'm not there yet. I don't know precisely how I'll know when I'm 'there'. But I will know. I don't think that my 'goal' will be a figure on the scale per se, rather more a feeling...sense of achievement....ability to look in the mirror and like what I see...but it will be informed by a figure, that's for sure. Before you think I've gone all nutso on your asses, I am all too actutely aware of my tendency to go overboard with weight loss, and thus I surround myself with people to whom I am accountable, so that if I start going off the deep-end, they will tell me. This is why I continue to go to WW. This is why I continue to seek the advice and guidance of my PT. There are enough people in my life to rein me in if the need ever arose BUT, more than that, I actaully want to take responsibility for my health - mental and physical! Those 35lbs lost don't solely represent the fat coming off my body, they represent an entire lifestyle change. A complete rethink. A new attitude to mind and body. A renewed comittment to health and longevity. A passion for exercise and to drive and test my body to see what it can do for me. A complete turnaround of the way I eat, what I eat, how I eat it and my attitude to food in and of itself. Food as fuel. Exercise for joy not to offset a calorie deficit.

I want to continue in this vein, not hoist the responsibility for my own health onto my accountability partners. I want to be able to manage it myself. And I am doing. And doing it well. I feel....amazing. And maybe one day soon my head will catch up with what my eyes see in the mirror and translate it as looking amazing too, rather than seeing the flaws still to be corrected.

Chris the PT said to me that one way he gauges whether or not people show signs of exercise bulimia (yeh, I know, it's a real thing apparently - I googled...) is by asking them to rate their progress on a scale of 1 to 10, and to give a score to how likely they feel it is that they will get to their '10' eventually. He said that when people feel they will never get 'there', then this can be an indication of 'trouble at 'mill'.

Of course, as a therapist I make a tricky client because I am so aware of these psychological assessments! I use them a LOT. So it would have been easy to fib and tell him what I thought he'd want to hear BUT I was totally able to be honest....because I DO think I'll get 'there' - there (for me) being (I confess) happy with how my body looks. And to be able to say that with certainty is progress indeed, people!

Working with a trainer is also a good indication to me that I can still afford to lose body fat safely and healthily, because he's calculated my metabolic age and monitors the progress closely. And even good ol' ww 'What's a healthy weight for you?' guidelines say that the minimum weight for my height is 9 st 6lbs/132lbs/59.8kgs - I am 5'8" tall.

So, what I'm trying to say is, it's nice when people notice I'm getting skinnier and more toned. It's great to be able to say thank you and mean it and know that it's true and not have to immediately refute it. ('Thanks for noticing' is my standard response haha). It's great that I am succeeding with it after such a sucky couple of years. But it's NOT massively helpful that everyone seems to be a bloody expert and feels entitled to (a) ask what I weigh and (b) give me unsolicited advice about stopping!!!

To illustrate this rather lengthy waffle (sorry!!), I've added some progress pics.

September 2009 - around 11,11 (165lbs), having already lost 14lbs.

November 2009, around 11 st (154lbs) - 25lbs lost.

And finally, 20/01/10. At 144.5lbs, 35lbs lost. I can see a difference. I like how my upper body is getting more toned and slimmer, legs and hips and abs need more work. But it's progress, no?

And with that my friends, I must leave you. I've been sitting here for far too long!!!

Have a great weekend!

Love, Lizzie xoxo

Get over yourself, Elizabeth!

2010-01-20T08:15:00.000Z

....Would be my message to self today! A thousand apologies for the whine-fest that was last night's post! What right have I to complain?! If that is the extent of worries in my life, then I am blessed indeed!!!

Today will be different. Today is planned, packed, counted, factored in and I'm raring to go. It's 8am and I'm on the commute, ready to have as good a day as poss. Exercise will commence from 1600 hours, after an afternoon @ college, learning- and the irony does not go unnoticed here- case formulisations for OCD and disordered eating. Before then I have a LOT of work to do, so have a fabulous day everyone.

Keep on truckin' !

Lovelove xxxx
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One of those weeks....

2010-01-19T22:17:00.002Z

Here's why....

- My blinkin cycle kicked in again....a mere week after the last time - wtf?

- I couldn't go to the gym last night because I promised 2 of my yummy mummy friends they could use my CostCo membership after work so I didn't get in till 9pm...

- ...which meant I ate really late. Which meant I ate crap. Which meant I got pissed off at myself.

- which meant I was determined to behave myself all day - which I did - but then I worked really late (tll 8pm) and thus the vicious circle of last night is beginning again, so I have turned to blogging as a diversion tactic!

- I was determined to run outside today - I had 2 invitations for company on said run. First one I couldn't make the time, second was wonderful Rachel. We were determined. 8pm came and went. I walked home from the train station in crazy winds and freezatious weather and thus the run did not happen.

I AM SO ANNOYED! WHY AM I SABOTAGING MYSELF!!!!????

I have not worked out for TWO DAYS. This makes me itch. Tomorrow I have simply got to do some exercise. And then I'll be fine. It's nonsensical to worry about 2 missed days. Isn't it? I ran 6 miles Sunday, did and hour's weights and swam 30 lengths. Surely that'll be ok till tomorrow.

God I am obsessive.

Let's find a positive.

Ooh I know! I wore my brand new, one piece swimsuit on Sunday - and actually felt not hideous in it, - and the pool was packed! AND I went in the steam room all by myself!

And obv, running a second 10k on Sunday in 2 minutes LESS than the first time is a bit of a buzz.

Hang in there me, you can do this.....

Ok. I feel better now!

LOVELOVE xxxx

Weekend Weigh In!!!!

2010-01-16T12:17:00.002Z

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!!!

(Well, sort of!)

THis morning, lovelies, this picture is how I feel!

(My dad took it on Christmas Day when my sister and I were dancing around to "Don't Stop Believin'" from the Glee s/t! So it's pretty recent. lol)

I feel it encapsulates how I felt this morning ('dog tired' would also be a rather accurate description - see previous post on Circuit Training) as I got on those pesky scales which have ruled my life for sooooo long.

Today, I weighed in at 10 stone 6, which is 146lbs, which is another 1.5lbs off this week. All of which means that AT LAST I am a whole 1lb UNDER my goal!!

WAHOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!

I made it!!! 33.5lbs lost total since Feb/March 2009. Feels good! Feels like it's taken a bloody long time too. But you know what? I've changed my whole entire lifestyle over the past 12 or so months. So although it feels like ages, I know that I've made changes for life and these changes will help me stay around this weihgt for the rest of my life!

In the words of Jim Carrey as The Grinch " And this time.....I'll keep it off!"

So, I've made it to goal. *insert rejoicing here* BUT I have altered my goal this morning (in close consultation with my WW leader and PT and motivational match up) because now that working out is such an integral part of my life, I can stand to lose more body fat to get my metabolic age lowered beneath my chronological age. I have set it finally at 140lbs. This is entirely doable and will give me the room to move either way - as in if I am a couple of pounds over that, it won't be the end of the world, whereas with 147lbs goal, if I went a few over that I'd be back in the 150's so this seems sensible.

So, in reality 6lbs to go BUT I feel like I've achieved something quite massive today. It's almost a year to the day I called my friend and ww leader Rachel and bawled my eyes out in frustration and despair at not being able to lose weight. A lot's changed in a year hey!

Well it's midday here, so I'm off to lunch with my friends! Have a splendid weekend gang and thanks once again for all your support and advice!

Heaps of love!!

Lizzie (aka not so BigFatPie anymore!!) xxxx

Death by Circuit Training.....

2010-01-15T19:58:00.003Z

Picture the scene: I'm in my office, it's 4:45pm. I'm happily working away. My BlackBerry buzzes. It's a text. From Chris. My PT. "Hope you're mentally prepared to be hammered. Circuits tonight. :)"

*GULP*

We did the following (I say 'we', I mean 'ME'!)

10 minute uphill run at 10kph to 'warm up'
15 deep squats
15 jack knife on the SB
lunges with upper body rotation using MB 15 right leg, 15, left
single leg squats on the harness thing that attaches to the ceiling, 15 left leg, 15 right
15 wide row on the harness thingy again
1 minute on spin bike at a climb (standing)
15 shoulder pulses with 3kgs
15 torso rotation thingies on the weights pulley, left and 15 right.
15 side step ups onto box left, 15 x right
15 press ups onto bench standing at an incline
15 tricep dips on bench
15 bicep curls with 10kg bar bell
20 reps with skipping rope (fast)
20 step ups on higher box
repeat skips
repeat step ups
15 x sledge hammer with 5kg MB
15 x 'punch' with 5kg DB left arm, 15x right arm

THAT WAS ONE CIRCUIT.

2 mins rest and then some fast boxing - jabs, hooks and uppercuts, 15 reps repeated on each arm.

Then I did the circuit....AGAIN.

Then 2 mins rest followed by the boxing again.

Then the FINAL circuit. And just to be 'ker-azy', he had me do it backwards which did not sit well with my OCD AT ALL!!!! I swear this guy is trying to cure me as well as train me....

Oh the other thing I forgot to mention, is that each time I completed a circuit, he upped the reps. SO the first time through was 15, the second time 20 reps of everything and then lastly 25 reps.

Suffice it to say I feel that I have most certainly 'worked out'.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go and lie down.

Weigh in tomorrow....I'm too tired to care right now :)

See ya tomorrow

BFP xoxo

The aftermath......

2010-01-14T21:50:00.003Z

.....well, I can walk! Post-10k triumph (see sweaty picture to the left, taken just after I hopped off the treadmill, all endorphined up to the eyeballs...), I am not in any pain, the troublesome IT Band drama has not come back to haunt me, walking is smooth and easy, no crazy limp going on. My joints feel 'loose' and though I can feel that I've 'worked', it's not uncomfortable. Somehow this is just as sweet a victory as running the darn thing itself - because it means I have looked after myself. At this juncture, I really must give a huge shout out to my motivational match up (Remember them? From Jen's blog and Mizfit's blog?) the amazing Caro, who has supported me sooooooo much through all this injury drama! *Thanks Caro* I have learnt so much from her in the time we've been emailing and tweeting, (I am @lixwall) and one of the biggest things she has taught me is about looking after myself. You may have noticed I have a slight tendency to overdo it...*ahem*...and to have had Caro show up daily in my gmail inbox and check up on how I've let myself recover has been INVALUABLE!

Right now, for example, it's 10pm Thursday night. Ordinarily, even after my big run yesterday (and *confession time* the BodyPump class I did half an hour after the run), I would STILL have gone to the gym tonight. I had a crappy, crappy day at work and didn't leave the confounded office until 6:30pm. I felt fatigued, guys, mentally and physically, so instead of taking out my frustration on the treadmill (and consequently, my body!), I came home, had a bath, got in my PJ's, gave myself a manicure and a pedicure, made a healthy, filling dinner and caught up on blogs, sent some emails, and downloaded the Two Fit Chicks...podcasts. (Jen! Caro! Carla! Shauna! I am BUZZING off hearing your real life voices!!!) Loving the podcasts ladies!!

So, I've had a gorgeous evening of time out all to myself, not rushing aorund, not thinking of calorie burn and kilometres and the correct stance for a deadlift! Lesson learnt, I'd say! I'll be honest though, and say that I have had guilt pangs a few times this evening, where the crazy girl in my head taunts me for being weak and not hitting the gym, but I told her to shut it and carried on with my 'me' night. I feel great! And I've got a PT session tomorrow, with a firm promise to 'hammer' me (Charming!), so I really don't know what I'm worrying about.....

The only thing is, is that I have absolutely RAVENOUS today!!! I dunno what's wrong with me - could it be the exercise do you think? How do you fare after a big run/exercise sesh? Does it make you hungrier? How do you balance giving your system what it needs to replenish and recover IF you're still trying to lose weight?! OH MAN, IT'S CONFUZZLING!

I'd really appreciate your feedback!

And lastly, THANK YOU so much for all your comments yesterday, you're all so great and I KNEW that blogland would celebrate my achievement with me - seriously do not know what I'd do without ya!!!

Have a great Thursday and I'll see you tomorrow!

Lovelove BFP xoxo

Breaking News!!!!

2010-01-13T18:59:00.001Z

Guys n gals, guess what??!!!???!!!! It's 18:47 here in UK land and I just ran my first EVER 10k!!!!!!!!! TEN KILOMETRES!!!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I am sooooooooooooo buzzing!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's 6.2 miles!!! GET IN!!!!!! Sure, it took me 71 minutes which is a bit rubbish but heck, I can improve on that!!! For now, suffice it to say that I BLOODY WELL DID IT!!!!!!! And more importantly, my wonderful legs totally did me proud. Post-injury, they carried me every inch of that 10k. They did not collapse, or hurt. I am not in horrendous pain. I can feel I've worked but now I know the right stretches to do I can efficiently help my bod combat the pain.

Please remind me of this post when I'm having a moan about my weight. Right now I'm pretty happy with how I am!!!!!

Yay for running!!!!!

Big Fat Love

BFP xoxox
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Thankful

2010-01-11T07:57:00.001Z

Today I am thankful for my body. I'm thankful that it's able, and getting increasingly stronger. I'm grateful to have legs that work. I'm thankful not to be in any pain this morning after my longest post-injury run to date yesterday. I'm grateful to be able to rely on this body of mine! I want to remember this feeling. Hence the post.

Have a great day comrades

BFP xoxo

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HAHAHA!!!

2010-01-09T15:45:00.002Z

How d'ya like THEM apples, scales!!???

Today @ww weigh in I was 147.5lbs! Which means I have lost 6.5 freakin' lbs this week!!! HAHAHA!!

I KNEW that 6lb gain was a total loada bollocks! There's no WAY I gained that over 2 weeks! And now the scale has righted itself, balance has been restored and all is right with the world....

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I am half a pound off 'goal' (though I may change my goal for the final time to 140lbs.) and I feel PRETTY FREAKIN AWESOME (to use my favourite Americanism) let me tell you!

I saw my neighbour this morning as I 'walked' (read 'skated') up the road to my meeting. He asked where I was going. I replied 'fat club'. He said, and I quote, 'What are you going there for? You look fantastic!'

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZIN'! WHat a great way to begin the year - lookin' fantastic!! Now I just gotta work on feelin' it!

BIG FAT LOVE and happy weekend

BFP xoxo

First post of 2010!!!

2010-01-08T12:48:00.001Z

Hello Blogland! Yes it’s me! I am back! Apologies for the seasonal silence – I did thoroughly mean to blog my way through Christmas and New Year, however it appears that, instead, I…um….how can I put this?...ATE and DRANK my way through Christmas and New Year instead. OOPS.

Yes, I entered into the party season on 18th December, full throttle, and did not, it would seem, emerge from said party until January 1st 2010! Those 2 weeks were a whirlwind of seeing friends, family, attending different events – all of which included either eating and/or drinking. I did manage to have a couple of ‘PJ Days’ which was utter bliss!

Unfortunately, we had a death in the family (my aunt) the day before Christmas Day, so that meant things were quite sad for my mum and her mother (who lives with them) but somehow I think that being able to be together as a family made us appreciate the season a lot more. On the down side it meant that we stuck close to home throughout the holidays to be with the family – which meant I spent 3 days at my parents’ eating and drinking and staying up waaaaaaaaaaaaay too late! My siblings each brought their new partners home to ‘meet the fam’ which was fabulous and we have just had such a lovely time!

And now I am back to catching up on your blogs and hopefully trying to get back into the swing of updating mine!!! A hearty well done to all of you who managed to keep blogging through the madness! And WHAT an exciting year it is already! Kerry’s engaged! (Congrats lady!!) Phil’s engaged! (Wahoop!) Caro hit goal (Way to go girl!!), Sally is STILL getting terrorised by Crazy Lou and Jen is getting to be uber famous (yay!!) – and a whole host of other amazing stuff!

I promise that I will spend a good few hours this weekend catching up on your blogs – I’ve missed them!!!

So. In the interest of starting as I mean to go on, allow me to update you on my life from a weight loss (or lack thereof) perspective.

What went well?

FOOD – This year I had what I like to call a ‘tempered’ approach to eating. In previous years I would have used Christmas as an excuse to abandon all self control, this year I was fine. I ate – a lot – don’t get me wrong, but it was all good stuff, and little amounts of everything. I didn’t deprive myself of anything, but I didn’t gorge myself stupid either. This is indeed an NSV my dears! I did not have one single mince pie or any Baileys at all!

ALCOHOL – Throughout the festive season, I managed to drink alcohol most days! However, the age old maxim of ‘for every glass of wine, drink a glass of water’ worked a treat and I am so super happy to report that I survived the entire festive period without one single solitary drunken episode or hangover! WOO HOOOOOOO!!!! It was SUCH a buzz waking up on New Year’s Day and going for an early run with a fuzz free head! (This is the 3rd year in a row I have behaved myself on new Year and it is sooooooo the way forward, for me at least.)

EXERCISE – You may recall from several angry previous posts that I had incurred an injury from completely overdoing it in the exercise department. On Christmas Eve I was officially allowed to try running again – for ten minutes. I cannot describe the excitement with which I was filled upon hearing this news! So I spent a sweaty, glorious, knackering 2 hours in my beloved gym ON CHRISTMAS FLIPPING EVE – only ten mins on the treadmill though – I am determined to be a good patient this time! Running again after 3 weeks was WEIRD! I had decided that my ‘when-I-am-allowed-to-run-again’ anthem would be ‘Dogs Days Are Over’ (Florence and the Machine – amaaaaaaaaaazing running album – you heard it here first Kathleen!!) and I simply cannot describe the joy I felt at jogging a little bit again, albeit at a hobbly pace – sincere and renewed respect for having legs that work, that have recovered quickly and that can be used as I want them to be once more.

Obviously I didn’t hit the gym on Christmas Day, but was back there Boxing Day, felt so good to work out in between all the eating! This too is a full on NSV as in previous years I would have been all “ exercise? On Christmas? WTF?!” and this year I have turned a corner and love it! I went because I wanted to go, not as a means to cancel out calories consumed, but because it is a part of my life now. It also gave me some great mental health time all alone away from talking and laughing and singing and merry making and partying! I didn’t go crazy, upped the running by 5 mins each time on the treadmill. Chris (amazing PT) has given me a ‘remedial’ leg workout programme to strengthen what I now know is the Vastus Medialis Oblique muscles in my knees and to stretch out my IT band, so I have been doing lots of that. I didn’t road run until Saturday Jan 2 when I put in a good 40 mins with my amazing friend (and WW leader) Rachel. Oh we had a glorious time, I really wish I were clever enough with words to be able to convey what I know simply to be unspeakable joy at being able to run. I am not an amazing runner by any means, I am no marathon girl! But to be out there, in the glorious sunshine, with one of my fave people in the world, able to run at pace and not want to keel over and die at the end is pretty bloody fantastic if you ask me! I recall thinking that I want that to be a metaphor for my life this year.

The stupid snow has hampered my exercise efforts somewhat this week. The UK is virtually at a standstill on account of the fact that we are a nation entirely unprepared for ‘adverse weather conditions’ and thus, ‘The Big Freeze’ as it has been dubbed, has meant days off work and also being reeeeally knackered from the effort of trying to walk on thick compacted ice (picture Bambi on the ice) - I am petrified that I will reinjure myself – that would completely piss me right off. I am living in my wellies and pink bobble hat and after the effort of making it home from the train station on the ice in the dark, the LAST thing I want to do is go to the gym. So I made it on Wednesday – and ran a 7k! WOOOO! I honeslty felt like I could have gone one but stopped so as not to do myself a mischief! No point overdoing it again!). Yesterday I took a rest day from running – though I am so pleased to report that there was NO PAIN whatsoever in either my hip or knee - HURRAH! And today, even, I can feel the muscles have worked but it’s not uncomfortable like over the past few weeks….even after running with Rach last Saturday I really thought I’d knackered it again, but it’s been fine – praise the Lord!

What could I have done better?

Umm, not eaten so much?! We had our first weigh in at ww on Saturday and the scales revealed that I have GAINED…..wait for it…..SIX lbs!! SIX!!!

Unbelievable!!!!! Are you KIDDING ME!!! So even with counting points, exercising and eating healthy in between parties and gatherings, I STILL managed to eat myself into oblivion! GOOD GRIEF!!!

Needless to say I was super disappointed! That’s nearly half a stone! Ordinarily I would be able to ‘feel’ such a big gain, certainly from my clothes, but I really didn’t think it would be so big.

Rather than sulk though, I have picked myself up and hopped back on plan. No more bread during the week, no booze and plan, track and exercise. I know what I’m doing, it’s not that hard! I was a teeny tiny pound off my goal, now I have 7 to go, but you can BET I will get there! HELLS YEAH!

What are my goals for 2010?

Get to my weight loss goal then focus less on weight and more on metabolic age and lowering body fat.

Run a 10k. I know this is not a far distance – I was toying with the idea of a half marathon for this year but if the blinkin injury has taught me anything, it’s that I need to pace myself! So a 10k it is! I want to be able to enjoy running this distance comfortably.

Carry on training – I’m on a roll with this now and it’s still so useful and I have much to learn!

Keep blogging

Keep being motivated by my amazing and fabulous motivational match up partner/guru Caro !!!

Right, that’s it for now – well done if you read this far! Happy New Year my lovely friends! Can’t wait to see what this new year of fresh challenges goals and achievements will bring!!

Much love to you all

Lizzie aka BFP xoxo

Christmas....

2009-12-29T13:31:00.001Z

Cheese. Honey glazed roast ham. Terry's Chocolate Orange. Toblerone. Twiglets. Cashews. Pistachios. Carr's cheese melts. Turkey. Gravy. Potatoes roasted in goose fat. Cheesecake. Butter. Peanuts. White bread. Kettle chips. Cheese. Eggy crumpets. Bacon. Maltesers. Lindor. Champagne. Pink wine. Bucks Fizz. Cava. Red wine. Beer. Chutney. Pickled onions. Sprouts. Carrot and turnip. Pigs in blankets. Stuffing balls. Turkey. Roast beef. Yorkshire pudding. After Eight mints. Curly fries. Curly kale. Cabbage. Cranberry sauce. Horseradish. Twiglets. Cheese. Butter. Chocolate.....

....I am DUNZO with eating. With feeling sluggish through food coma induced tiredness.

Christmas was awesome. But now it's back to reality. Five days till weigh in. Damage limitation is ON.....

Laters

BFP xoxo
------------------

Reflections....

2009-12-18T12:41:00.002Z

I have quite a serious job. Usually this involves being focused and level-headed…Today, however, I am SERIOUSLY finding it hugely difficult to concentrate on anything, because today, my dear friends, I finish work for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!! Not only that, but it’s CHRISTMAS! My most favourite time of the entire year….

Needless to say I am a happy bunny today and super-excited. I haven’t taken a big chunk of time off like this in AAAAAGGGGESSSSSS….so I refuse to feel guilty about it! Instead, I am feeling very reflective today – must be a ‘almost the end of the year’ vibe…

I was thinking about this year, and what makes it different from last year. Last year as I entered the party season – I was at least 31.5lbs heavier, so uncomfortable in my own skin, bloated, bad skin, just generally…. ill at ease, y’know?

This year, I am excited about life – particularly the control I have taken back over my eating and attitude to health and exercise. I have come to the conclusion that I am proud of what I have achieved this year. Seems like it’s only just hitting me. Where, in previous years, I would be excited about letting my constant promises to self to ‘be good’ and attempts to eat healthy and exercise regularly completely slide with the ‘legitimate’ excuse of ‘It’s Christmas’, nowadays I feel excited about knowing how to balance the eat-and-drink-athon that is this time of year with exercise and good, wholesome, nutritional, clean eating. I am excited to have time off to be able to run during daylight hours and to take some day time classes. This time of enforced gym ban has also taught me moderation, how to do just enough to balance and enrich my lifestyle, not needing to cane it each and every time I go. This, for me, is possibly the biggest NSV of them all.

I had a sports massage on my legs this week – it was really good, if a little uncomfortable at times - and I was chatting with Mr Trainer Man about goal weight and what not and he really challenged me NOT to set a goal weight. By this he meant get to the aforementioned 147lbs and then stop obsessing on it and challenge myself with different goals – like a time/strength/distance one. ‘And the weight, Liz…’, he said, ‘…will become a secondary issue and just….happen…’

I cannot describe how MUCH I want this to be true! I would LOVE not to be motivated by those digits on the scale. It feels scary even to be contemplating it. This is how I have lived, for better or for worse, for my whole life! I’ve been saying for a while that I’ve been looking for a new challenge and whaddaya know folks – this might just be it….!! YIKES! I’m glad someone has faith in me to be able to do this – because it seems a bit mad to me, but then I’m doing stuff these days that never would have ‘fitted’ with my goals before….what is life without challenges hey? What a difference a year makes…..I’ve just spent half an hour re-reading back through some of these posts and comments and man alive, I feel tremendously humbled that anyone reads this drivel and self delusion! I SERIOUSLY could not have got through this year without you all. Blogging has made SUCH a difference – I feel as if I’ve made friends here! Is that daft? I know we’ve never met in real life, but I think you guys ‘get’ me – possibly more than some of my real life pals in a lot of ways. I’ve shared stuff here that I would NEVER be brave enough to tell someone in real life – so I thank you for putting up with me! Your encouragement and advice and good ol’ fashioned kicks up the arse mean the world to me.

I thought that when I hit goal I would stop this blog – but it’s such a part of my life and if I’ve learnt anything this year, it’s that this is forever- this way of life I’m trying to re-educate myself into, is NOT about a diet. I’m not ‘at’ goal, not yet. I’m not even sure what that means really, truth be told. But what I do know is this:

My attitude towards living healthy and getting the most I can from my one and only body has completely and, I hope, irrevocably changed for the better. I ENJOY living this way. It’s not a chore or a burden, it’s something I have learned to embrace and now love. Funny that!.

So for now, I will continue to witter on in cyberspace. Thank you for being on this journey with me. I urge you to reflect on this year, cast your eyes back, if only for a moment. We’ve been through a lot this year, some of us more than others. It’s my hope that, whatever you have been through, you can find something positive you have learnt about yourself that will carry you forward into 2010.

Much Love, as ever…

Liz xoxo

Absolutely bob all to do with exercise and/or weight loss.....

2009-12-16T11:09:00.004Z

......HOW GOOD IS GLEE!!!????

They showed the pilot here last night and I am HOOKED!!!!

Whaddaya know? I'm a GLEEK!!!!!

The full season starts here in the UK on E4 in the new year - I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!

Also - do you think I made a cute Cindy Lou Who?!

C'est tout for today - normal service will resume tomorrow!!

Love BFP xoxo

A rare Sunday post!

2009-12-13T09:31:00.002Z

Hi guys and gals....

So, weekly weigh in has been and gone, and I am please to report that I managed to lose another pound and a half, taking my total loss to 31.5lbs and my weight to 10 stone 8 (148 lbs - that maths is getting soooo much easier to do!!) which is really exciting. It means, officially, that I have one lb to go AND on a more NSV related note, it means I will meet my personal target of hitting 147lbs at the last weigh in before Christmas, which is where I was in 2006 (first time round!) - this seems so magical and unbelieveable to me that I might actually get there!

However....

(Come on, you KNEW that was coming..)

I only set my goal at 147lbs because that's where I'd got to last time. I didnt base it on anything other than the fact that I was desperate to prove to myself that despite a crazy hormonal year of hell and frustration, I could be that weight once more.

I'm 5"8' (173cm) - and according to the WW website, the minimum weight for my height is 9 stone 6 (132lbs) and maximum is 11 stone 10 lbs (164lbs). 132lbs sounds teeny tiny - and unattainable. And I do NOT want to get sucked into 'must-achieve-a-number-on-the-scale. So, my question as we launch into a new week, is this...

How did you set your goal weight and how did you know when to stop?

I guess seeking advice from WW Leader and Trainer Man is a good place to start - I'll keep you posted! I'm still really interested in what you think though! Get commenting!!

In other news, I had a training session Friday night with Chris. God it was good to be back - a week seemed like an awfully long time of 'no training'. I felt REALLY GOOD! For the first time in all 8 months I've been training with him I could actually stand to watch myself in the mirror. This is a MASSIVE NSV. He asked me on a purely aesthetic scale of one to ten, ten being your ideal bod, where I felt I was at. My answer was 4 or 5. I wonder if my 'ten' is actually attainable. I need to think about this some more. God, isn't weight loss a total mind f***!!?? (pardon the expression!)

It's Sunday morning, cold, frosty, Christmassy and wonderful. Our tree is up and it's far too early to be thinking so deeply! I am ITCHING to go outside and run....but I won't. "No high impact leg work until after Christmas" is what I have been told and that's what I will stick to.

I might go for a wintery walk to the village garden centre and buy a Poinsettia (God, how quintessentially English does that sound!!??hahaha) and then get down to some weights...and watch a Christmas movie...

Have a great Sunday!!!

Love, BFP xoxox

Fleeting Update!

2009-12-11T12:16:00.001Z

Hello comrades! Thought I’d update you on the current sitch. You will no doubt be pleased to know that my naturally sunny disposition has kicked in and thus normal service is resumed. Feeling 100% more positive about this whole injury lark - saw my physio on Tuesday and she instantly knew what to do which is soooo reassuring. I am still not allowed to run or do BodyPump though – which I am obviously dealing with like a total brat. Apparently the problem is my knees and hips are all out of whack because of all the ballet I’ve done in the dim and distant past, so whereas ‘normal’ people stand with their feet parallel and hips in line, mine are pretty much rotated through 90 degrees (picture the way a duck stands, with turnout!!) and this has meant that my hips and knees have to work extra hard to stop going ‘off’. Basically, I have dodgy pins! Nice, huh?!

So I’ve been given physio exercises to do and my lovely PT has been in touch with the physio so he can work me out a programme I can do while I’m getting over this hurdle.

Eating has been a funny ol’ thing recently. Last week, when I felt so dire and naffed off and soooooo not in control, I restricted and restricted and obsessed over every little cherry tomato. This week, I exchanged weekly goals with Caro my AMAZING motivational match up and one point was to ‘eat points, track and nothing more’ and I’m happy to report that I have met that goal. I haven’t gone crazy under points, but I haven’t gone over either. I’m definitely noticing I’m not as hungry as I have been recently but I think that’s because I’m not exercising as much –well, at all really. I have upped the protein to help my body heal and just trying to eat as clean as poss. really, so even though I’ll lose muscle tone (sob) my insides will at least be healthy, which is good ground work for when I do start training again.

I had really hoped to be at goal this week or next, but I really don’t think that’ll happen – which is obviously gutting but I guess I have to look after myself, right? This journey is about so much more than a number on a scale. Right?!

So that’s me. I’ll check in tomorrow after weigh in and I need to share some pics with you!!! You’ll laugh your asses off I imagine!!!!

Until then beauties, lotsa love

BP xoxoxox

Sightly more positive than yesterday.....

2009-12-05T16:03:00.002Z

....I can walk ALMOST like a normal person again! WAHOOP!

And.....the results are in.....weigh in Saturday has been and gone and I am delighted to say....

I lost!

Again!

3lbs!!

Even during a week of (enforced) no training/exercise!

I am flabbergasted!

This means I am OFFICIALLY at the 30lbs target!! WOOOOOOP!

I weighed in this morning at 10 stone 9.5lbs (149.5lbs). I AM BLOODY WELL OUT OF THE 150's- ok, so it's by half a pound but YAAAAAAAY!!!!

I cannot believe it.

It's so good for me to realise that I don't have to exercise like it's going out of fashion in order to lose weight. It's good to be reminded that this way of eating works (for me) and suits my lifestyle and pace.

I feel about a million times better today. Thanks for your lovely comments yesterday. I will let you know how it goes with the physio referral....*gulp*

I am going out tonight with my dad's side of the family. We're having dinner together as part of our Annual Whobilation. This year - I am Cindy Lou Who.......I'm sure there will be pictures!

Have a fabulous Saturday night

lovelove BFP xoxox

Dark Days :(

2009-12-04T15:21:00.002Z

My deepest apologies, dear friends, for the lack of blog action. It has been a particularly low and trying week for me. (Though I have to say I feel a great deal more positive today). Long story short, I’m injured :(

But before I launch into what I’m sure will be a total whine-fest, let me first preface this by saying I am aware this is completely self-indulgent post AND that yes, there IS a bigger picture and there are people going through the most heinous of circumstances right now for whom there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I know this in my rational mind. I am blessed. I am lucky. But I am STILL mightily PISSED OFF! Please don't judge me...

I have had a pain in my hip for a few weeks, which I had assumed was just a little over-stretched from yoga or from squats in BodyPump. I ran through it. Trained through it. Paid particular attention to my hip flexors, making sure they were warmed up and down and stretched out properly. Figured that would be enough. Trained like a mad woman last Friday – ran for an hour, did an hour’s Body Pump where I upped my weights a little. Weighed in on Saturday. Lost 4lbs. Much rejoicing. Noticed my hip socket ached when I walked to the Post Office to collect a parcel (Elf outfit – whole other story) so didn’t do anything on Saturday. By Saturday night I was popping Ibuprofen and in quite a lot of pain. Sunday though, felt ok (er..hello….6 painkillers!) so I did BodyPump. I was late (having been very busy lying on the sofa all the live long day) and the class was starting so I was jogging around the studio to collect my Bar Bell and step and weights and whatnot and I noticed I couldn’t really rely on my hip joint as my leg impacted. I took it easy in the class, particularly squats and lunges and went home, thinking nothing of it. Monday I had a meeting to attend in Manchester (about an hour away) and involved walking to and from train stations and meeting venues and meeting my sister for a lightning-quick cup of coffee before heading back to work. Guys, it was actually painful just to walk! I was hobbling around like a little old woman! *SOB* Stupid thing is I STILL went to the gym Monday night! I did pilates (thinking stretching would help) and walked a little on the treadmill (because I couldn’t physically run).

As I am typing this I am like ‘ WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU NUTTER!!!??’. And this brings me to my current freak out – I am hopelessly addicted to working out. Shit! HOW did it get to this soooooo quickly!? This is soooooo old ground for me – the ‘must-workout-at-all-costs’ vibe. And now I am properly injured. Chris (PT) took a look at it Wednesday to see if sports massage might help but couldn’t even do that because my hip is so visibly bruised. Friends, I am in a bit of a pickle. We’re now at Friday – he has categorically banned me from all exercise until further notice and told me to see a physio. I guess I should be glad of his ethical and professional stance but really I am mostly just annoyed right now. And panicky. I was completely unprepared for this overly emotional reaction. I spent yesterday alternating between sobbing and getting mad at people who said things like ‘Have patience’, ‘Cheer up’ ‘It’s Christmas – now you can eat what you like!’ AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! That kind of thinking is precisely what got me into being fat in the first place. The thought of not exercising makes me feel itchy and stressed. Not a normal reaction Elizabeth!

I’ve been hobbling around the office for a few days now, so they have referred me to Occupational Health which means I can see a physiotherapist for free (thanks GOD!) but that’s not till Monday. Patience is sooooooo not one of my strong points and I am not a good patient EVER! Rationally I know that one week off training won’t make a huge difference, and that by next week I will know more and be having treatment and that sports injury physios can help devise me a training programme whilst I’m injured but I am stressed that my muscle tone will go and the weight will pile on. This makes me click into that long-forgotten and dealt with almost default setting of ‘RESTRICT!’ – thinking in terms of calories permanently (and boring the arse off everyone talking about it all the time), doing crazed calculations of calories in and calories expended and panicking anytime anyone mentions food. The twice daily weighing. The scrutinising of my body in the mirror. This is so not healthy behaviour, and I worked damn hard over the years to change this behaviour and thought patterns. I am morbidly fascinated by how QUICKLY it has come back into being. I guess you’re never too ‘safe’. All that bloody work I’ve done on my mind and body, focusing on strength and being capable rather than repeating the mantra - surely it’s not for nothing. Surely I am more knowledgeable now?

I just feel so sad. I was on such a roll and goal was in sight. I feel a bit……lost. Like nobody understands. Bloggies??! Help!

So there you go. Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea and insight into the neuroses of my head. I’m ok, really. Just need to get this in perspective. Both hip and knee feel improved today but still limping. Definitely going to go ahead with physio as soon as I can, if only so I can get back to some level of training as soon as possible. I absolutely cannot wait until after Christmas before I can start working out again – this time of year is my all time favourite and I need to balance it with some form of exercise. Apparently I need to balance my exercise too….maybe once I’m healed I need to actually listen to my trainer and not over train. Will I learn my lesson? God, I hope so.

Yours, frustratedly,

Lxoxo

Doing the Happy Dance!

2009-11-28T17:31:00.001Z

Hello friends!!!!! I am very much a happy big fat pie this Saturday evening!!!! I have sung my heart out to Christmas Carols while drying the dishes for the past hour while hubby does an essay. I have waited and waited for him to get off the computer but he is still typing away and I am desperate to tell you my news so have resorted to BlackBerry blogging!

As you know, I've been a bit stuck this past few weeks at the darn scale which stubbornly refused to budge, obstinate creature that it is! Some of you encouraged me to eat more of my activity points this week, which I have done, and only exercised every other day rather than every day. And......

.....The results are in.......

This week, I...........LOST!!

4lbs!!!!!!!!

Wahoooooooop!!!!!!!!

This tales me finally, finally FINALLY under the 11 stone mark (154lbs) which I have been desperate to achieve for aaaaaaaaages!!!!!! - am 10 stone 12.5 which is...um....hold on....*does some maths*....... 152.5lbs!!! HOW GREAT is THAT??!!!!

Needless to say I am super happy!!! Ironically, I am now only half a pound over what I was this exact day in November 2006, otherwise known as the first time I did ww!!! So hopefully my Christmas challenge and NSV of fitting into my Christmas Day dress from 2006 for Christmas Day 2009 moght actually happen!!! YIKES!!!

Dudes, I am absolutely buzzin!! This health thing really works!!! Yaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

Right, it's 5:30pm and we have the parents coming over soon so I better dash. Remind me to tell you about the sports massage experience I had this week!!!!

Love to you all, have a great weekend

Love BFP xoxo
------------------

So, apparently....

2009-11-26T12:37:00.001Z

...I need to get me one of those HRM thingies??!!

A splendid gift for a husband to give to his wife for Christmas, don'tcha think?!

So, my lovelies, on this most Thankful of days, I am once again imploring you to please comment and help me tackle which bloody HRM to go with!! I gather that 'Polar' are the brand to go with, and I have figured out that I need an 'FT' model - for fitness right? So I can wear it in BodyPump etc not just when I am running??! Is that right!?

So YIKES - er hello overwhelming choice!!!

And also, HOW DOES IT WORK?? Do I have to wear one of those strap thingies around my rib cage? Or is it like a watch?! I don't get it!!! What does it calculate? Can it measure how far I run as well as calories burned etc? Have you got one? Is it good? Does it help?!

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

************************************************************************************

While I'm here, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my lovely American bloggy pals! I heart you all and am very thankful that you all blog!!! I wish you a happy, healthy, joyful Thanksgiving aka Turkey day!!! Try not to eat yourselves into a food coma.....but if you do, make like Joey Tribiani and wear Clown pants!!!!

"This land is my land....this land is your land...." etc etc!!

Huge Blessings,

BFP xoxo

Update!

2009-11-24T15:27:00.004Z

Hi dudes! Bit of a mixed bag of late to be honest! I am stuck in a rut! Sooooo annoying. Been stuck at 155lbs for 4 weeks on the run now and those blasted scales are just refusing to move, even with all the workouts I’m doing and all the tracking and counting and planning! Guys, it is so frustrating!!!!!!! Gained a pound this week, so back up to 156lbs GRRRRRRRR!

Mr Trainer reckons I am not eating enough. This puzzles me as I am sticking to points. Mrs WW Guru thinks I am eating too much of the same things, which also puzzles me as surely the calories are the same so it should equal a loss. Sometimes it feel like there’s no bloody rhyme or reason to this weight loss malarkey! I thought it was supposed to be scientific!!!!

So I am feeling stuck. The thing I struggle with, is that I really have no idea in terms of calories what I take in and what I expend through exercise and whilst inactive. WW activity points are so hit and miss and (I think) inaccurate – and people totally overestimate them. I am forever hearing members say at the scales,things like ‘Well I’ve taken the stairs instead of the lift and walked the dog around the block twice’ and then when they’ve gained, the ‘reason’ is ‘well, I’ve probably built muscle this week with *all* my exercise’. Honestly, that level of self delusion makes me want to SCREAM!!!! Obviously, any level of exercise has to be gradual and built up slowly, particularly if there’s a lot of weight to lose and all that jazz BUT I think we kid ourselves quite often!!! It’s taken me MONTHS to build up bloody muscle!!!! It takes a LOT of exercise to earn activity points!

So, come on you whizz kids – HELP! How do I find out what I am burning calorie wise, to make sure I am eating enough?! Is there a magic formula?!

For example. If I run 4 miles in about 40 minutes, cycle for 20 minutes and row for 15 minutes and then do an hour’s Body Pump class and then an hour’s yoga, what’s the calorie burn?!

What should I be eating AFTER I work out to replenish stocks?? I spend so long in the gym that when I get in at 9pm I don’t WANT to eat a big massive meal!!

OH I AM STRESSING OUT! I seriously need that Jillian Michaels woman to come and live at my house and just advise me!!

PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE comment with your wise words dudes!!!

On a far more positive note, I had to get on the dreaded scales of doom at my PT session last Friday. Now, let me preface this by saying that I *think* I am full-on hormonal at the moment (sorry if this is TMI but er hello get used to it!! Lol) and thus feel like the side of a house. Suffice it to say that I was somewhat reluctant to stand on that stupid machine whilst it pinged electricity around my body to gauge all the fat and visceral fat and metabolic age and lean muscle and hydration and all that hoo haa………but BOY AM I GLAD I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is with great shame that I must inform you that when I began training with my PT in March, the metabolic age of my poor body was…..dunh, dunh,dunnnnnnnnhhhhh…..FORTY BLOODY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And in the obese category… I was then THIRTY YEARS OLD!!!!! OH. EMM. ACTUAL.GEE. I am EXTREMELY glad that he refrained from sharing this particular gem of information with me, as it would have most certainly tipped me over the edge!

I am now 31 years old (*sob*), and in 7 months I have lowered my metabolic, big fat pie age to….wait for it…..THIRTY THREE! Thirty freaking THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! In 7 months I have sweated, sit upped, ab curled, run, stepped, cross trained, lifted, pumped, cried, moaned, told my PT to shut up and then done it anyway, and hard-worked my way to knocking 16 whole years off my body’s age!!

Apparently, Metabolic age is a “number that comes from comparing your Basal Metabolic Rate with the Basal Metabolic Rate average of your chronological age group. Depending on how you compare, you are assigned a metabolic age number that can be lower or higher than your chronological age. A metabolic age younger than your chronological age generally means that you are fitter and in better health than the average, the lower the age the better in shape you are. An older metabolic age points towards being less healthy and fit than your peers and if it’s much older than your chronological age this should be considered a wake up call." (www.purelifestyle.co.uk)

Clearly there’s still a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng way to go but HOW GOOD IS THAT ! That’s the best indicator I’ve had YET that I am on the right track and finally I feel a little as if the spell that scale has cast upon me for so long has been broken. It’s kind of about more than just a number every Saturday morning!!! I need to know I am getting healthier. Chris the PT said I should try and view exercise not just about weight loss. Easy for him to say,, he’s not inside my head – the head that still translates images of super-skinny girls as ‘beautiful’ and ‘desired’. I’m reeeeeeeeeeeeealllly trying to change that but it’s kind of ingrained, y’know? Even with weight loss, I have a ‘sensible’ weight loss goal in my head that I publicly will share, but then I actually think in my head that I have a ‘real’ weight loss goal that is quite a bit different than that!!!

ARGHHHHHH I am a total Muppet!!! Get your head in the game Elizabeth! I realised this week that I am still so motivated by the aesthetics of weight loss – for all my jibber-jabbering about the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle! I WILL NOT BE RULED BY THAT SCALE OR BY A WARPED MENTAL IMAGE OF WHAT I *THINK* I SHOULD LOOK LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as I said, mixed bag – all sorts of insane emotions are spinning about – I almost miss my Depo Provera induced nullified emotional state!! HAHAHA (– not really!!)

Ok, so onto the planning for the week….

Tonight I work late, so will do my brand spanking new weights and core programme from my PT, as I won’t have time at 9pm to get to the gym for a class or a run. (memo to me GET A FLUORESCENT JACKET TO RUN IN AT NIGHT!) then Wednesday is all new running programme (intervals and something called ‘clocks’ which I have never heard of – keep ya posted) then Body Pump and Pilates. I am making warm quinoa salad tonight for dinner and having leftovers tomorrow for lunch, PLUS my grocer shop gets delivered this evening so Old Mother Hubbard I will be no longer! No major plans for the weekend – had a wonderful Saturday night with my friend Karen in Liverpool having elegant cocktails all night. So a quiet one this week. God, it’s only Tuesday and I am already thinking about the weekend! MADNESS!!!

Right – must dash – gotta go counsel some young people. Maybe I’ll CBT myself while I am at it!!!!

Love to you all xoxox

Inching my 'weigh' to a hot bod!

2009-11-12T11:16:00.002Z

Hey dudes!

So this week – actually for the past 2 weeks - I’ve been struggling a bit with eating, feeling stuck in a rut and not very ‘clean’ with food. Dunno what it is – maybe the dark evenings and general winter hibernation vibes, I’m still motivated but last night completely did not feel like working out – for the first time in about 5 weeks. So I didn’t.

I’m hovering over this next stone zone and hoping and trying and counting and tracking to get underneath it but I don’t feel like it’s happening AT ALL!

So last night, instead of having a pity party, I decided to be spurred on by a recent post by Jen (www.priorfatgirl.com) to take my measurements. I don’t think I told you but I spent most of Sunday afternoon in my underwear (no, not THAT – minds out of the gutter please!!) trying on all my old clothes that I’ve hoarded. Er helloooooooo whole new wardrobe! So I know that my body shape has changed and morphed into getting towards the being I want to be. I was intrigued to know what was happening with the old tape measure.

I took my measurements first in May this year (idiot that I am, I soooooo should have done them when I first started with the PT) and then again in July but haven’t done them since

Needless to say I am WELL BUZZING off the results….

Check this out!

July 2009 Nov 2009 Total

Waist -2 inches -3 inches -5 !!

Hips -2 inches -3 inches -5 !!

Bust -2 inches -2 inches -4 !!

Bicep -1 inch -2 inches -3 !!

Thigh -2 inches -1 inch -3 !!

So, ladies and gents, when you put it like that it’s MUCH easier to feel good about the BLOODY SCALE WHICH WILL NOT FREAKING WELL MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I urge you to take your measurements!

Here endeth the lesson

Heaps of lurve

Liz xoxo

Plots and Plans....

2009-11-11T12:00:00.002Z

I love this time of year. I love the cold, crisp mornings and how the pavement twinkles with the promise of magic when darkness falls (at about 4pm!) I love all the rituals and traditions that accompany this time of year. Some are particular to my family or my friends, and some are universal. For example. In my family, we never acknowledge All Hallows’ Eve. My sister was born on October 31st and would always have a full on hissy fit if ever the word were uttered in her presence. My dad was also a teacher and thus to open the door to his own pupils in the comfort of his own home would have been asking for trouble. So on Halloween we do something different…this year we went to Manchester where my sister lives to eat at an amazing tapas restaurant www.evuna.com.

Bonfire night is another grand tradition. Wellies, scarves and hats and a brisk walk to the local park for hot potatoes roasted in foil from the bonfire and a firework display to remember the ‘Gunpowder, treason and plot’. As we’ve got older and therefore of legal drinking age, it’s also meant a swift half in the pub on the way home.

I always spend New Year’s Eve with my friends, I am usually the planner and find us a glamorous location for dinner so we can get glammed up and ring in the New Year with style and a sumptuous meal. And then there’s the Secret Santy Balti. This involves a group of friends, curry and a secret santa gift so we don’t have to buy for all 20 of us! We gather at our local and much loved curry house and eat like gluttons and sing Christmas songs!

Other traditions are smaller but nonetheless equally as important. The fact that my mum stops making her traditional Sunday roast in October so we ‘enjoy’ our Christmas dinner more, having Canadian Thanksgiving with the Millars, having our parents around for dinner to discuss who’s going where/doing what/buying what for whom at Christmas. Cheery reunions with friends and loved ones from far and wide as they return for the festive season. And then there is Christmas itself……2 long (blissful) weeks of eating, drinking and being merry.

What’s the common theme here?

FOOD! Or, consumption!

I am a creature of habit. You know by now that I fully meet the clinical criteria for having OCD tendencies and habits that become obsessions. I am very much an ‘all or nothing’ kinda gal. Last Christmas was ‘all AND nothing’, as in I ate and drank everything in sight AND did nothing in the way of exercise.

Because of my ‘habits’ and rituals, I can get easily stressed if things do not happen as I feel they should (Autistic Spectrum Disorder, anyone??!!) and yet pretty much all of my much-beloved Autumnal and Festive Season traditions centre around food and/or alcohol!

The past month or so I have really hit my stride (pun intended) with my workout schedule and eating regime…..(whole other post on habits and rituals coming up hahaha!) and whilst I can feel my blood pressure rising at the mere thought of interrupting said routine, I need to be realistic . The pace of life will change – hectic in the sense of a million different people to see but relaxed in that I am off work for 2 weeks. And I need to embrace that albeit temporary change. I need a rest! I can’t keep going at this pace of work-uni-exercise-eat right-try-and-fit-husband-and-family-and-friends-in-somewhere-craziness! But when I relax, I don’t want to (as I have in past years) interpret that as permission to slack off and thus undo all the bloody hard work I’ve done this past year.

Guys, I’m stressin’! I need a plan!!!

One good thing though is that this year I don’t belong to the public gym – which shut down last year over the holidays!! This year my gym is open throughout as it’s based in a hotel and leisure club so THANK GOD I’ll be able to stave off some of the food and drink damage in between social events – plus I am off work so I’ll be able to make good use of my time.

But more than that, I want my attitude to Christmas to be different this year or at least to Christmas eating! I adore Christmas and every single thing about it. When I was little my parents used to have to get medication for me from the doctor to give me leading up to Christmas because I used to throw up and be an insomniac from excitement – true story! It’s not the presents or material things either, it’s that honest-to-goodness-peace-on-earth-and-goodwill-toward-men vibe that I adore. That vibe that, for me, is perfectly encapsulated by a combination of the Grinch movie and ‘A Christmas Story’ (Ralphie and the BB Gun). I LOVE IT!

However, I usually get so excited that my good intention go out the window. But not this year. This year will be different. I will eat, drink and be my usual, merry, Christmassy self – but this year I have learnt the value of food as fuel. I am infinitely happier in my own skin and thus have no need or desire to use food as comfort for feeling shitty about myself.

This year will be different.

So what about you my friends?? What’s your Christmas contingency plan! We’re only 43 sleeps away – you’d best get crackin’!!!! Care to share any top tips for survival?!

Lots of love

BFP xoxo

Gotta be quick BUT.....

2009-11-09T16:47:00.002Z

...... I am so FLIPPING PSYCHED about the Motivational Match Ups!! If you dunno what I'm on about, head on over to Jen or MizFit's blogs for the details. My 'match up' emailed me today to introduce herself and I am absolutely buzzing to get to know her and get motivated, and to be (hopefully) able to encourage someone else on this bonkers journey! It is UTTERLY FAB!!

I am so happy to be part of this!!!! Are you getting that?! HAHAHA!

Weekend - total disaster - too much wine. ERROR! Saturday weigh in - stayed the same, stuck at 11.1.5lbs. I NEED TO BE UNDER THAT 11 stone mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a perfect day yesterday of eating and exercising and have continued said trend today. On the plus side I saw my trainer on Friday night (I know, I must be mad) and he was full of positive stuff about how far I've come since March! So that was so good to hear - kinda spurred me on, ya know??

The puzzling thing is, even though I am still a little way off goal, all the clothes that fit me at my skinniest TOTALLY FIT AGAIN!!!! I spent a large part of yesterday trying on all my 'skinny' clothes - thanks GOD I am a hoarder!!!!!! So even though I am heavier, I must be mroe streamlined, no??? How DOES THAT WORK? Science is baffling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right - bodyPump here I come - i promise to be better @ blogging!!!!!!!

Love BFP xoxo

Weekend Update/And the winners are!!!

2009-11-03T16:42:00.002Z

Hello! So before I tell you the dreaded weigh in results let me firstly say that.....

SPUNKY SUZI and ANNABELLE - you girlies are the WINNERS of the grand Jaffa Cake giveaway! Sooooooo....email me please, with your addresses and I will get them to you asap!

And now onto the result!

This week, I.......LOST !! Again!!! HURRRRRRRAAAAAYYYYYYY! Another 2lbs off taking my total to 24lbs off and my current weight to 155.5lbs (11stone 1.5lbs) which means that after a year of trying to get under the 12 stone mark, I am nearly under the 11 stone mark!! I was absolutely delighted with this result - I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and happy to be me - and that, my friends, is something I cannot overstate! After feeling so very miserable about this whole weight loss malarkey for what seemed like an aaaaaage, I am finally making headway and IT IS FAB!!! Just that subtle shift from 'I am on a diet' to 'I am pursuing a healthy lifestyle' has done wonders for my psyche.

So, this week it's a matter of cracking on to get the job done. I KNOW I can lose 1.5lbs in a week to get into the next stone zone but unfortunately this is one week where it might not happen. I have to be realistic. I have consistently lost for 5 weeks now - a fact which might seem daft to you reading this, but trust me people, this is bloody amazing progress for me!! And I have done this by being focused and determined and not letting anything sidetrack me. This week however, is another story. Tonight is my dad’s birthday so I have not got time to get a gym sesh in (and I ALWAYS judge people when they say that and think ‘you could fit it in if you reeeealllyyyy wanted to…’ but tonight it’s actually true! So I can go Wednesday to the gym for defo and get a good run/row/cycle in and a BodyPump class but then Thursday is Guy Fawkes’ night which means traipsing off to the bonfire and fireworks display in a local park so I won’t be gymming that night, but then I have a training appointment on Friday evening so at least I’ll be working out then. I get really superstitious when I’m losing weight – do you? So in my head right now because I’m thinking I can only gym it every other day this week, I wont lose because I gymmed it every day LAST week and lost…is that utterly barking or WHAT!?

So in short, to bring this ramble to a conclusion, I’m not going to pressure myself if I don’t lose 1.5lbs (especially after near death by tapas-induced food coma over the weekend…) but I sure am gonna TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO I’ll sign off now as it’s past 5pm – hometiiiiiime!!!

Reapeat after me: must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening, must not eat own body weight in cake this evening,

Laters hotties!

BRP xoxo

Weekend Weigh In and FINALLY the give-away!!

2009-10-27T16:34:00.002Z

Hello comrades!

Just a little update on the current state of play. I weighed in, as usual, on Saturday morning at a grand total of 157.5lbs (11st,3.5) which makes my official loss 22lbs precisely, so there was much WAHOOPING ALL ROUND!

That said……..

Repeat after me…

I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent. I must not get complacent…..are you getting my message?

Having consistently lost each week for the past month has given me a rather devil-may-care attitude towards my eating and old habits are rearing their ugly heads with the potential of creeping in. (mad mixed metaphor there but I’m sure you get my drift…)

So this week is DANGER WEEK for me. I know that when I get complacent, I think I can ‘cheat’ the system and just atone for eating crap by working out like a loon. I do NOT want to be that girl. As I commented on http://www.talkingitoff.com/ earlier today, I want to Move for Moving’s sake and THAT way I learn to see food as fuel, rather than as rewards or for comfort. Food becomes a means to an end – an enjoyable means fo sho BUT a means nonetheless.

I saw my trainer yesterday. Thus today I am very much in Jen’s club of ‘OW’ at every step, stretch, sit,walk,move in general……..I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. It’s quite addictive this whole healthy lifestyle malarkey!!! Yesterday the aim of my session was to ‘shock’ my body into compliance and give my metabolism a good whack. In days gone by I would have assumed that meant shed loads o’ cardio…but nooooooooooooooooo! It meant weights. Heavy ones. Lots of them. For an hour. Alternating between arms and legs. Involving many lunges. Choice exercises included squats against the wall against a ball, holding for 20 seconds at differing levels, shoulder presses sitting on ball with 8kgs in each hand (ok I don’t care WHAT you lift – that is bloody heavy for me!!!!!!), lots of upright rows on the machines, jumping squats – yes JUMPING SQUATS! What a torturous exercise THAT turned out to be. But I ruddy well completed that hour and felt GREAT! I totally don’t get the science bit – how does it help your metabolism?! But frankly I am just happy to have a functioning metabolism to help!! I am so proud of myself that I CAN do this level of exercise and enjoy it!!!

So this week I need to maintain focus and increase my attention to what I am chucking in my gob….more vegetables and protein please! In fact that’s what I should have focused on today while I am so sore (BLOODY DOMS!!!!) – oopsie.

How are y’all doing?? Ok I hope. I shall be catching up on all your blogs this evening, so expect a plethora of hilarious and yet insightful comments from me….er….??!!

And now to our giveaway…..my first one!!!!!!!

For your chance to win some delectable treats from the UK all you have to do is leave me a comment telling me why you deserve to be treated. That’s it! I will select a winner at random and will post to anywhere so get entering!!!

And what can you win??? Well folks, here they are………JAFFA CAKES!!!!

This is what they look like…..

This is the nutritional hoohaa http://www.jaffa-cakes.com/jaffa-cakes-calories-nutrition-facts

So you see they really are a low-cal treat and I always rely on them for a choc fix! Plus, I sent some to our own dear Jen aka PriorFatGirl a while back and she appeared to like them !

I look forward to reading your comments! Best of luck!!!

That’s it for now dudes, I’m out-y!!!

HEAPS of love, from an ever-shrinking BigFatPie!

xoxo

On the treadmill...

2009-10-21T16:54:00.001+01:00

…of life that is. Anyone else feelin’ it? I am in that place at the moment where I feel like groundhog day! I wake up, I go to work, I go to the gym, I come home, I go to bed repeat ad infinitum! It’s that 9-5 hamster wheel, waiting-for-the-weekend drudgery! Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but sometimes it’d be nice to be able to be a little less…..predictable!

Having said that, being in a ‘routine’ suits my fussy personality down to the ground! It was great after a hectic weekend to get back into it immediately. This is still something of a revelation to me, the fact that I can sort my eating/exercise out so quickly after a trip. It used to take bloody WEEKS for me to get back into my routine! Hurrah for NSV!!

I couldn’t weigh in last week because I was in lovely Abersoch (Great weekend, fab girls, complete nutters, lots of musicals on dvd, spending most of the time in our pj’s, singing along loudly to films, drinking pink wine and eating junk food. Saturday was so beautiful we were able to hit the beach!) so I am hoping against hope for a loss this week. More importantly than scale antics, I have been eating very well this week and exercising for the sheer joy of it (rather than ‘I must burn off calories’ scary possessed woman type vibes) and loving every minute!

Haha! I feel like my blog is dead boring en ce moment because everything is fiiiiiiine!! I am on top of my game, so to speak. I keep thinking that I need a challenge – but then I figure trying to get to goal is enough of a challenge right now! It’s my aim to do that my Christmas so perhaps early in 2010 I will set myself a challenge. Some pals are running a half marathon at the end of March but I am categorically not ready for that (still cannot make it past 10k – whole other post). I am loving Kerry’s current challenge to self of not weighing in until January 2010. Gotta admire that girl!! So I’m thinking some sort of eating challenge (not corn dogs, Jack Sh*t!!!) – but that’s after Christmas. Until then….I am concentrating all my efforts on getting to goal in a healthy, non obsessive and timely manner. So please do bear with me if I am boring – I can’t do it without you!!!!

In other news, still loving the BodyPump classes…it has meant, however, that I have not been as diligent at my set programme from Mr. Motivator – oopsie! I expect I’ll get shouted at on Monday – my next session. So maybe I need just to do one BP class a week, one pilates, one yoga and the rest of the time do programme. Hmm…I’ll see. While I’m on such a roll, I’m reluctant to change it, Y’know? PLUS there’s something that feels easier to accomplish about taking a class….you have to be there at a set time and stay for an hour and all the thinking is done for you! Ha I am such a lazy git!

I have been SUCH a ditz lately….sometimes I am shocked that I have such a responsible job, the things I manage to do! A few weeks back I was putting on mascara and eating branflakes at the same time, and I absent-mindedly put the mascara thingy in my mouth - what an idiot! Not to mention a blinkin waste of YSL mascara!!!! And then today I raced around town on my lunchbreak (had to buy a smaller work skirt –wahoop!) and was soooooo sweaty when I got back to the office I decided to spray some body spray on to freshen up…….I didn’t look at what I grabbed out my handbag and ended up with bloody Elnette hairspray under my arms and down my back! OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW it feels sooooooooooooo gross!!!! Praise the Lord for the handy baby wipes I keep in my gym bag!! Dear me, I need help!

Well my dears, I think I’ve prattled on long enough now. Please check back tomorrow because *fanfare* I have decided to do a giveaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW EXCITING!!!

Right, ciao for now fellow healthy livers!!

Big Love!!!

BFP xoxo

Ps ALSO would someone PLEASE remind me to post updated workout clothes pics…those inches better be coming off!!!!

Watching and Weighting

Eating humble pie....

BodyFitBootCamp

#FoodFail

Tiredness SUCKS!

So.......food !

A little perspective.....

Guess who ????!!!!!!

Twitter.....

A year ago today.......

Happy New Year!

MeRrY ChRiStMaS!!!!

The ballet world is a-buzz!

Pain in the neck...

I am having an affair.....there, I said it!

Hell Runner Up North 2010 *edited*

Hell Runner

Update

I'm back!

Busyness...and other excuses!

***Service interrupted***

All synced up!

Weekend Weigh In *shocker*

Sweaty Betty & LiLo spam

Anxiety

Perspective

Guilt-ridden....

Weekend Weigh In

Thoughts on shorts.... *edited - pics added*

Sneaky mid-week scale peek.....

Those scales had better bloody well MOVE this week!

Saturday Weigh-in

People don't notice you half as much as you imagine they do....

*Stop Press*

I am almost certainly going to hell for this post.......

Contrary

Weekends are FAR too short.....

Friiiiiiday!

"Blasted water weight..."

I'm FAMOUS!

Day One Back on Plan

Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer...

So, that was summer?!

I suck at blogging.....

In tribute...

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!

A Weekend of excess.....

Keep on Runnin'....

Freak of Nature

The Tyranny of the Scale......and other ramblings

Out of the mouths of babes.....

Click this link!

FYI

Checking in.....

So far so good

Back to Basics....

A LOT can change in a year....

OTT

Metabolic age, shrinking boobage and other stories…

Spring? Is that you?!

Hill sprints, chippy chips and the need to stretch...

"You're going to put your elbow WHERE???!!" and other news....

I heart running....

Before and Forever....and 40lbs inbetween....

Maintenance 101

GGGGGGOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Take THAT, weird voices in head!

Before I chicken out...

Quickie!

Confession time.....

Weekend Weigh In....

Yoga-tastic

Running and eating and eating and running...questions!!!!!!!

Weekly Goals...

Weekend Weigh-In and Progress Pics Update...

Get over yourself, Elizabeth!

One of those weeks....

Weekend Weigh In!!!!

Death by Circuit Training.....

The aftermath......

Hell Runner Up North 2010 edited

Service interrupted

Weekend Weigh In shocker

Thoughts on shorts.... edited - pics added

Stop Press