Sunday, 10 April 2011
Bonjour mesdames et messieurs...
Sunday again eh? How DOES that happen?! Quick update.
There's a part of me that is loathe to 'fess up the following to you....but I need to! Just because I am a CBT and future PT doesn't preclude me from slipping.....so here goes.....
I had a truly terrible week last week - food wise. Did not workout one single iota (oh, apart from a mega guilt induced far too long cortisol through the roof run on Monday) and ate utter sh*te all week. Yesterday I went out to Liverpool for a friend's birthday and for the first time since Feb 2010 or thereabouts, I felt reeeeeeallllly uncomfortable in my clothes. Getting ready & picking an outfit was a total nightmare, nothing fitted, or hung right, or looked good. Just like the old days. Cue self-loathing. A week of stress meant troffing pretty much what I liked (so, bread...also cake...also not really cooking properly) and having wine on school nights, and having reeeeally pants sleep and not working out has all taken its toll on my poor little bod.
That feeling of 'uncomfortable' was an odd one. Once so familiar and yet now so alien, it was weird to be back there. A timely reminder though. I hated it. I'm not perfect. I still struggle from time to time. Ok so it's not major binge-eating or the dreaded binge-purge subtype but for me, it's a struggle. And almost certainly stress-related. But I was reminded (again) of what I've changed in my life, where I want to be, and yes the body I still want - as in that whichI am yet to have - and mostly, of how much I DO NOT want ever to go back 'there.'
So, how do you pull yourself out of the hole?
1. TELL SOMEONE - accountability is everything. Choose someone to tell who will not let you get away with it, won't collude with you, will hold you accountable and ask the tough questions, all without judging! Tall order, but we all have those people in our lives. Be honest with them!
2. SET A TIME LIMIT - For me, it was a week. I was knackered. Defences were low. Did not AT ALL feel like working out. So I didn't. Every time I made a less than perfect or out of the norm food choice, I reminded myself that on Saturday this would stop. This helped me to cope in the short term with the damage I was doing and the ensuing guilt. It also mentally prepared me for getting back 'on it' when my time limit ran out.
3. TAKE NOTE - Journal it, tweet it, blog it, - whatever works for you, however you keep track of your thoughts and progress. Record HOW you feel in the midst of an 'off' period, record WHY you're experiencing it (if reasons are known). For me it helped to stop and jot down precisely how I felt when I woke up at 3am with heart burn because I'd eaten pizza at ten o' clock at night! What a div ! When I was fat I used to get that all the time - haven't had it for 2 years...it was a shock to be woken up by it...and then not to be able to sleep for ages, thus waking up knackered and cross, less able to 'cope' with life and less motivated to yank myself out of the hole, more likely to make stupid food choices and steer clear of working out....and then being ensnared in a vicious cycle of the same.....groundhog day anyone?
4. TAKE ACTION - Rather than dwelling on the negative - the above - use it to turn to a positive advantage. As well as noting the HOW and WHY make sure you ACTION PLAN - the WHAT and WHEN ! What will you do to stop? Plan in your next workout - make yourself accountable for that, tell someone your plan. Do a healthy food shop. Get rid of the crap. Don't carry cash when you go past the tempting food places. Make it harder for yourself to give in. Change your route home. Do all of the above! And the 'when' is the time limit spoken about above.
So, for me, this week. I have complied with my time limit. I did a gym free kettlebell workshop in the garden yesterday along with bodyweight workout. I ate healthily and limited my alcohol intake despite a night in town AND a dinner out. A healthy food shop has been done, meals are thought through for the week and workouts factored in.
All in all I'm setting myself up to succeed. Keep me accountable, won't you?
Love Lizzie xoxo