Thursday, 30 April 2009

Oh Happy Day!

Oh Happy Day indeed! Today, 30th April 2009, is our 4th wedding Anniversary! Here we are in the sunshine at Liverpool's Albert Dock.

Here we are strolling around the Albert Dock in Liverpool, in the glorious sunshine after a rainy morning and much panicking from me, with all the passers by asking us which magazine we were doing a photo shoot for! HAHA!

Posing with the glorious Liverpool skyline behind us! Rich looks at me with intent, I look smug!

Instead of champagne on arrival we had Cosmopolitans...I was in the middle of a MAJOR 'Sex and the City' phase at the time!

Just arrived at the reception venue in the vintage Rolls Royce.

Arriving at the church, me and my lovely b-maids.

Ready to work the crowd!

AWWWWWW! My handsome hubster!

Er..hello, I would like this body back PLEASE! This was taken as the photographer stepped through my parents' front door, we were dancing around in our underwear singing along to the Chicago soundtrack at the tops of our lungs!
So that gives you a flavour of the most special day of my life! Sorry the pics are in reverse chronological order! OOPS!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RICH, I love you xoxoxox

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

I dunno about you....

.....but I love, love, LOVE the part of a weight loss journey where clothes start to get too big. All of a sudden it seems to happen that staple wardrobe items are now in jeopardy, ill fitting and too darn big! These items of clothing don't get to go through the ' Whoa! that FITS!' stage, they just go straight to the 'charity shop donation bag stage'. I put on some work trousers this morning which promptly fell back down - there was no flab to hold them up! I laughed my head off and put them back in the drawer - I'm going to keep them as my measure! So although my scale digits aren't decreasing at a rapid rate of knots anything like the last time I did this weight loss malarkey, I can definitely tell my body is changing shape and getting healthier (which I WANT to be the most important factor in my head but in reality I'm not there yet. )

I went for a teensy run yesterday wearing my all-new running leggings which, you may remember, I was too scared to try on. So, last night I gave myself a slap and pulled them on, thinking 'Ok, I don't look too bad' and went to show Ricardo. His words? 'You look like a proper runner! I knew the smaller ones would fit' What a sweetheart! I was like, 'Say what now?' because I thought I'd grabbed a size large and legged it to the cash desk before anyone in the trendy Nike superstore could think 'What the hell is that big fatty doing in here buying running clothes. AS IF'

Turns out I'd grabbed the xs ones! YES! EXTRA SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a JOKE!! And they bloody FIT ME!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh hilarious!

I mean, obviously, they're made of stretchy material and are meant to expnad BUT nevertheless they FIT!

Who knew?

So maybe I'm not so much of a porker as I think I am?

Anyhoop I did a pathetic 2k round my village but at least it was better than nothing! I find it really hard to pace myself when I am running outside, so I get knackered all the more easily. Any tips?

OOOOHHH In other news the sex and the city dress arrived bright and early this morning and fits like a dream if I do say so myself! I LOVE IT! and I like myself in it so that's a bonus! So all's I need now is SHOES!!! My friend Colette came up with a genius suggestion of putting a red feather in the hat I am wearing and thus I can wear red shoes....

I like THESE

.....but I also like THESE

So many shoes, so little time.....what's a gal to do......?

- Eating still going well. I feel like I've gained again though this week, not sure why but I feel fat.

Ah well, I'm just going to keep on keeping on and see what happens. I have my day off coming up on friday which means a session with my trainer - gulp. I love it once I'm there, it's just that weirdness of someone watching you work out and you pay them for it whereas I usually spend my gym time trying to blend in as much as possible and NOT be watched (except in pilates where I am a REAL SHOW OFF - thank you ballet training!)

I'm sorry not to have been posting food lists for a while now, I will start again but it just got a bit boring, especially since I am much better at writing it down now, and I figured you can only read the words 'skimmed milk' and 'ryvita' so many times before all you lovely readers bugger off through sheer boredom!

I am still enjoying mucho pineapple in my diet, it's a great mid-morning snack around 11am when the boredom munchies kick in :) I am not eating as many carbs of late, but have upped the fish intake. I adore salmon - steamed in garlic and chilli with steamed veggies. In fact,that's what I lived on during pre-wedding craziness !! Must be something about this time of year (It's our 4 year wedding anniversary tomorrow). In fact, this precise time 4 years ago I was doing a high intensity aerobics class in an attempt to 'fit into' my dress...insanity had set in because the dress shop had to take it in from a UK 10 to an 8 THE DAY BEFORE the wedding, and a woman pricked her finger sewing it and bled all over the back of the crushed Italian silk and I almost had a nervous breakdown. Not to mention my bloody grandmother deciding (after having declined the invitation in February) that she would be attending our wedding and reception. MY PRECIOUS TABLE PLAN! I almost chinned her.

Anyhoop it all worked out ok in the end! But more of this tomorrow, I am off to try and drink a few litres of water throughout the day as I have been neglecting my water intake a bit and feel all......unhydrated?!HA!

Love you long time

BFP xoxo

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Another lame-o post coming up.....

Hello dudes!

Me again, checking in after a fabulous weekend.

So, let me see, what's new.....

- OOH! I have my first running injury - an ingrowing toenail, which is pretty MINGING to say the least and (may possibly have been aggravated by me poking a nail file under the nail and trying to lift it up...not pretty, shall we say. Oopsie)

- eating going good - I had bugger all appetite yesterday apart from eating pineapple and beans on toast (not at the same time) and no energy for exercise and work was too busy so I couldn't get out the blinkin' office to swim, so I feel fat today, in my mind. is that weird? No worries though because my evening plans got cancelled which means I'll have time to run this evening so I can breathe a sigh of relief. Come to think of it, not particularly hungry today either. It's almost 3pm and I've had a latte and one weetabix. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF IS WRONG WITH ME?! (Swine flu?!)

- I was a bit rubbish at tracking on Sunday, Saturday was fine - I made burgers, sweet potato fries and salad (or a big ass salad as some fo you would say !!) and it was YUMMY - I even went crazy and had a bit of bread with it - get me living dangerously *rolls eyes at self*

- Sunday was shopping day - we had to get Rich an outfit for his party (because we all know MY outfit(s) is sorted :) ) I thought he'd be a nightmare but actually he was fine! And he bought me lunch at Cafe Rouge so I had a Goat's Cheese Salad...the waitress asked me if I wanted fries with it? FRIES?! FRIES?! With a salad? Woman are you INSANE?! Needless to say I declined the offer. We shopped all day and none of it was for me - boooooooooooooooo. Oh, but I did get some fancy schamncy running leggings but thus far I am scared to try them on so they're sitting in their Nike bag at home - hahaha!

- I had my hair cut - fringe (aka 'BANGS') went a bit mental as I always ask for a BLUNT CUT a la Lily Allen (see below, exhibits A to C)
l Exhibit A casual Lily - blunt cut fringe
Exhibit B - Fancy Lily - blunt cut fringe
Exhibit C - ME - blunt cut fringe.
Now, just FYI, I had this hair first, lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng before the stylists got their hands on Lily's barnet, and I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to emulate her, but she has provided me with a useful guide to go by during trips to the hairdressers because everyone knows who she is.
This time, however, the stupid woman FEATHER CUT my fringe....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So - long story short I've just been back in, complained a bit and got it re-trimmed for free and a voucher for money off next time! WOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!
See, it pays to make a nuisance of yourself!
And on that note, I am going.......suddenly I'm ravenous - bring on the Ryvita! :)
Beaucoup d'amour
BFP xoxo

Saturday, 25 April 2009


Hahahaha! I lost three and a half pounds AGAIN this week!!!!! Hurrah!!!! So now I'm back where I was two weeks ago. So, I hear you ask, how will you ensure you don't gain that fabulous loss back AGAIN this week BigFatPie?????

Well........ I will do the following:

- Exercise over the weekend instead of jibbing it off now I know I've lost.

- Keep celebratory alcohol to a minimum! ie don't have anything tonight and save some points for wine with the 'rents tomorrow.

- TRACK THE WEEKEND POINTS!!!! Sounds daft but obviously doing this will make a difference! Duh!

- Do the same as I did last week!

And all in all that should result in a loss again. If I can get a loss for 2 consecutive weeks then I will be so happy! And the thing is, Depo or no Depo, it's NOT left up to chance! If I do the plan and exercise I will lose!

Eat on plan + exercise = LOSS

Now that's maths Lizzie LIKES to do!!

I'm gettin on great with my running. 2 miles yesterday and another 2 today then a rest tomorrow.

All in all things are great!

Happy Saturday my lovelies!!!!!

BFP xoxo

Friday, 24 April 2009

UH OH...........

I found another dress I like....again a size 12 thank you very much AND this one has the added bonus of being VERY Sex and the City-esque....what to do, what to do?!

See below

Whaddaya reckon?! Cute or WHAT!?

Obviously I look like that chica in it :) HAHAHA!

Maybe I should post pics of me wearing both and take a vote in blogland.........maybe not.......

Anyhoop, I ordered it......I will keep you posted....

So, it's Friday at long last! I have been a perfect angel this week, stuck well within my points and exercised like a total freak, written everything down and had just one perfectly measured 125ml, 2 point glass of glorious, wonderful Jacobs Creek Shiraz Rose wine. Nectar I tell you, nectar. So there'd better be something registered on those bloomin' scales tomorrow!

(a brief aside, I am wearing work trousers aka pants aka not underwear for work today that did not even do up a month ago and now they are falling off me and yet my weight has not changed massively. OMG I DO NOT GET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Moving on, tomorrow is the dawn of a new era....the beginning of a Saturday class at Bebington WeightWatchers! People seem to be v excited about it so it'll be fun I think. Getting up early kinda sucks but at least I'll be up an at 'em ready for the gym....

Then at 3pm I am 'having my hair done' or 'cutting my hair' if you speak USA, so that it resembles the profile picture on this here blog once more.....

Saturday evening will be a chilled one and Sunday morning Rich and I are going shopping for his party outfit so that should be fun er....NOT! He's an absolute bugger to shop with, so my nerves will be tested no doubt!

And THEN we are having dinner with my parents and brother to round off the weekend! I am in charge of dessert. Uh oh.

Sorry this is such a lame-o post! I can't even be bothered to type out what I have eaten this week, it's all the same old, same old! The new thing I have re-worked into my eating this week has been Pineapple - oooh how lovely! it's actually really filling, probably because it takes so bloody long to eat! And when I weighed it on my scales it was happily low in points - two massive slices for 2 points. I was getting a bit bored of strawberries.

Thanks for all your responses re. yesterday's post ! I had a right old larf reading them!And thanks to all of you who dutifully answered my questions - you're all simply smashing and brill! My advice to you my gorgeous American pals......GET A FREAKIN' PASSPORT AND BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS!

Have a wonderful, healthy eating, exercise filled, controlled but joyful weekend my friends! I heart you!

BFP xoxo

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Who is Jillian Michaels.....?

.....and why does she keep emailing me?

I have been blogging for a little while now and you will see from my blog roll that I read a LOT of your blogs. I think I'm right in saying that the majority of you are in the good ol' US of A

I LOVE America. It fascinates me on a level that I hope will become clear from this post BUT before I begin, I feel I should point out that ALL my knowledge of the States (apart from a summer in New York) is gleaned entirely from tv. So to that end, it might be a little skewed!

So, sometimes when I read your blogs, I find I am constantly stopping to google things that I have no clue about…..for example Pb2 (thank you for the email clearing THAT one up) and ALWAYS having to find the little calculator on my pc to divide your lbs into 14 so I can understand what stones you’re talkin’ about ! It’s hilarious and VERY educational.

That said, I do have several questions for y’all:

Who is this Jillian Michaels woman?
What is ‘shred’?
What is ‘Biggest Loser’?
Is an eggplant an aubergine?
Is a zucchini a courgette?
Why are the food portion sizes in your wonderful country so bloody MASSIVE?
Are there REALLY people who don’t have passports?
Why do you put protein powder in smoothies (Laura)?
Why oh why do we not have Reese’s pieces over here?
Do places like Stars’ Hollow really exist?
What does ‘DWTS’ stand for?
What the bejesus is an elliptical?
What are spanx?
What is C25k?
What is almond butter?

Things I love about America:

Gilmore Girls
Crazy spelling and grammar
High School Musical
Mountain Dew
Cap’n Crunch
All the amazing different kinds of bread
The fact that salads come as actual main meals rather than a crappy piece of wilted brown lettuce like here
The TV!!! The Hills, My Super Sweet Sixteen, Laguna Beach, Newlyweds, Friends, Arrested Development, Dawson’s Creek, Sex and the City, 24, Entourage, The Wire, Grays Anatomy, ER, Brothers and Sisters, Pushing Daisies, Californication, The West Wing,
The fact that everything’s massive, food-wise! Like crisps, for example (chips) blimey days! I could FIT INTO one of those bags of Lays!
The fact that you can perfectly acceptably order off menu and have dressing on the side and other such things that do not occur in restaurants here.
Reese’s pieces
Hersheys kisses
Making a big deal out of everything – in a good way J
The phrase ‘hoopla’
Those teeth whitening strips that I STILL CANNOT GET SHIPPED OVER HERE
Perfect teeth
That you can go out for dessert
Everything’s larger than life
You call high heels ‘pumps’ which here can mean ‘fart’ which always makes me laugh (how immature)
You can get away with calling someone ‘retarded’
The phrase JACKASS and the satisfaction it gives me to say it to someone
A burger is like an entire cow on a plate
Your funny words for things: Crisps are called chips, a waistcoat is called a vest, a blazer is called a sports coat, a pavement is called a sidewalk.
Coffee need not be that instant freeze dried crap
Sweet Valley High
Region 1 cheap dvd’s
Dave Matthews Band

Things I have discovered about America since writing this blog and nosing at all of yours.

· That I need to get a Blend Tech blender (Laura)
· That it’s ok and not sad to have a personal trainer (Jen)
· What pb2 is (several of you!)
· Running works (Kathleen)
· Peanut butter and chocolate go well together when they REALLY shouldn’t
· WW in America is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than the UK (Ms. Bitch Cakes and about a million others)
· The phrase ‘Holy crapola’ (Jen)
· What a ‘hoochie mama’ is
· Blogging is not for saddos
· That I take a littler dress size in America!
· About resistance training and how it helps
· That Depo Provera is EVIL

I am sure I will add to this but as you can see, you are all furthering my education in all things American AND making me love it (and you) even more!

I hope this makes you laugh as you glimpse my perspective in the States…I look forward to your answers/comments!!!

GAWD BLEYSS AMERYICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flipping well LOVE IT!

Love BFP xoxo

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

NSV's and new frocks!

Hi gang!

I don’t even really know why I’m posting today! Haven’t got a lot to say to be honest!

It’s been an ok week so far, been busy getting my groove back with the old exercise regime and not-eating-sh*t routine. So far so good. I cheekily weighed myself at the meeting that I weigh other people at (i.e. the one that’s not my weigh-in day) which I know you shouldn’t do but I did. So there. And anyhoop, the scale says I’ve lost 2lbs since Saturday’s disastrous weigh in. So hopefully things are headed in the right direction for a loss this week (a re-loss, I guess I should say.)

This morning I was obsessing over my record of weight loss and gain since I began this mental journey and to my horror discovered that I am only 4lbs lighter than I was this exact time last year. GOD! How awful!

Then I chilled the heck out, calmed down and thought about my body shape this time last year: what I was wearing, what I couldn’t wear that I can now and I realised that my shape has totally changed, there is toning there where once there was fat. So then I felt a bit better.

Rachel (WW Guru and all around amazing pal) was talking last night at the meeting about measures of success. OBVIOUSLY the main point is a loss at the scales, that’s the major way we measure our success….but there are other ways too. I realised we were talking about NSV’s! Behold the joy of non-scale-victories!

For me right now, this is what I am trying to focus on. I really should take my measurements……Being able to push my body to run a 5k in 30mins and not want to die afterward was not something I could do this time last year – in fact, I was doing bugger all exercise this time last year! So that is a total improvement.

Sometimes I worry I’ve got BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) but in reverse! Where I think I look ok, but secretly people are thinking ‘OMG! Look at that FAT girl!’

Anyone else ever wonder about that?

I promised myself that I’d do my weights and core stuff every night this week, I have failed already! I did a LOAD on Monday and gave myself DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) and then jibbed it off last night coz I was tired and hungry! But I did make myself go for a little run around my neighbourhood – at 8pm, it was still glorious out and there was hardly anyone about !! I definitely notice my knee twinges more when I run outside as opposed to on a treadmill. So I signed up for a training plan on so I can run safely and not overdo it.

I’m going to run the Race for Life this summer, which is a 5k, I know, not massive or anything but I’ve never done anything like it before so I figure I’ll start small! It’s on July 5th .

In other news, I am busy planning Rich’s (husband’s) 30th Birthday Party! We’re having it at the venue where we had our wedding reception and also my 30th party last year. We’re big fans of giving parties and they always have to have a theme! For mine we did like an American Idol thing where different people sang and Rich hosted it dressed as Russell Brand (wearing my skinny jeans!) and so we thought long and hard about the theme for his and came up with a corker:

A Mad Hatter’s Ball!

How funny! So everyone has to come wearing a hat/headdress/head decoration of some sort! I’ve made bunting out of playing cards and ‘Eat Me’ and ‘Drink Me’ signs, and I’m going to make cupcakes with my mum and use the tiered stand my dad made for our wedding cakes (We had chocolate muffins! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!)

And in the middle of the party we’re going to have who is our friend Simon and who played at our wedding and he’s going to sing some stuff and let people do cabaret with him! It’s gonna be FUN!

So of course I needed a new dress…..and I found one last weekend at Coast

AND it was reduced! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!! BUT the best bit is that I fitted into a size 12! Which I THINK is a 10 in the US? Still massive I know but SUCH a triumph – NSV!!!!!!! And thanks to all the torture…er..I mean personal training; I actually LIKE my arms in a strapless frock! They’re starting to look more and more like those beautifully toned arms you can see in the picture above of me as a bride!

So, I have my hat (thanks ebay!) ready for the party so all I need now is SHOES! (OH how I LUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE buying shoes!) I’m heading to Liverpool Thursday evening so get ready for some shoe chat!

The only question remaining is: spray tan or not?!

Geez it’s tough bein’ a girl!

Laters hotties xxxxx

PS I don’t know why BUT I’ve just realised where I got the Mad Hatter theme from!! AAAARRRRGGGGH!!!!!!! From ‘Nick and Jessica: Newlyweds’ when she had her ‘23 is old! It’s almost 24 which is almost mid-twenties’ ditz rant! And Lea Lachey’s Party Planning Company plans her a Mad Hatter’s theme party! The one where they have a meeting and don’t know how to eat a soft shell crab!!!!!! HAHAHA!! OMG OMG!!! OMG! Do NOT tell Richard this – he was not a fan of my Jessica Simpson obsession! HAHAHAHAHA!!! He’ll go NUTS!

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Soooooooooooooo sick of moaning....

So, quick, let me list 10 things for which I am extremely grateful and fortunate to have in my life:

Here goes - in no particular order....

#1 Good Health and full use of my body - so I can exercise. And eat.

#2 Rich - my wonderful hubby who loves me despite...well, me! :) (Even after almost 4 years of marriage!)

#3 My friends and family - I am so blessed to have many friends, and a fabulous family who I also count amongst my very best friends.

#4 I have a good job - even though I don't always love it - it provides me with the means to live my life and to bless other people

#5 I have a roof over my head, I am fortunate to own it. 'Nuff said in these uncertain times.

#6 I have a generally sunny disposition and tend to look on the bright side - this saves me from going on a proper downer.

#7 Blogland! It's a bit mad 'talking' to people you don't know in real life and who live thousands of miles away BUT it's soooooooooooooo helpful and encouraging!

#8 Freedom - I do not live in a war zone, I am privileged to be a British Citizen and all that goes along with that. My life is not in danger, I can be who I want to be pretty much without restriction.

#9 Opportunity - the world IS my oyster - I can go anywhere, do anything, see anything, be anything that I want to...

#10 Choice.

(And if I were allowed an 11th, it would be - sans doute - GILMORE GIRLS! Seriously.)

Ok. Feel better.


BFP xoxo

Monday, 20 April 2009

Hold the applause....

...because I gained back the 3.5lbs I lost last time.

I SUCK at this.

Friday, 17 April 2009


......for the FIRST time EVERRRRR.....

I, BigFatPie,


......Wait for it........

LEFT FOOD ON MY PLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know!!!!!! O-m-g!!!!!!!!!

I went to Chiquitos, Mexican restaurant. (I know, helpful restaurant choice for weight loss...not) They were out of chorizo for the salad so I ordered the fishcakes....they were gorgeous, but MEHOOOOSIVVE, and there were 3 of them!!!

I ate two.

Which means I left one!

I left food!
On the plate!
And I didn't even care!

(Aside from the fact I paid for food I didn't eat, which bums me out a bit)

This, my oh-so-beautiful-and-super-encouraging-blogpals! is one HECK of a triumph!!!!!

Applause please!

Love y'all

BFP xoxo

Ps: SERIOUSLY thanks you SOOOO much for your wise words and encouragement! I love blogland!!!!

Thursday, 16 April 2009


Dudes, I have SERIOUSLY lost the plot this week. Like, SERIOUSLY. I think I’ve put 4lbs back on already! How ANNOYING! I am my own best saboteur.

This is a recurring theme methinks.

Check it out: week leading up to Barcelona, I was the very epitome of a dedicated weightwatcher, even IN bloody Barcelona. I come back – I let myself go almost as like a freakin’ REWARD for being good…and then my routine goes out the window along with healthy food choices, tracking, counting, working out and general dedication on the whole. Thus it takes me a week and an inevitable gain to get back on BLOODY TRACK!

Double you tee eff is wrong with me? Seriously?

And check me out last week, tracking soooooooo carefully it bordered on compulsions, working out like a fiend AND IT WORKED (Lo and behold! I know! DUH!) and so over Easter weekend I just jib the whole thing off and instead of getting back on plan on MONDAY, here we are at bloody THURSDAY and I have barely worked out and my eating is all over the show.

GOD! I am positively enraged at myself and will be chinning myself later just fyi, in an attempt to sort-my-bloody-nut out!

In the words of the inimitable Zac Efron…’Get ya head in the game’!


Any words of wisdom dear readers? I did soooooo well last week and I’m just being total pants this week! HELP!!!

Beaucoup d’amour

BFP xxxxx

PS – I went for a blood test today and FAINTED! HA!

Tuesday, 14 April 2009


Hello dudes

Sorry, got to be super quick today because I am back @ work and soooooooooooooooo busy!

So Saturday I got weighed and to my delight (despite heinous hangover from cheap cava the night before) I HAD LOST 3 AND A HALF POUNDS!!! That's everything I gained in Spain and then some. gone. In a week. Hurrah.

So, memo to me

(a) Focusing on eating healthily rather than obsessing about losing weight WORKS for me.
(b) Sticking to points is not that hard
(c) Tracking works.

I know I failed on the tracking everyday on here experiement - really must begin that again. Easter was great - not too chocolate-y, or too alcohol-y but what I have discovered is that my tolerance for alcohol has lowered. A LOT A LOT - this can only be a good thing. The WAY I discovered this however was not so fun. Hangovers fully suck. Ad infinitum.

So I'm just going to do this week what I did last week. Focus on sticking to my exercise vibe and we'll see!

Remind me to tell you about Amzing Emma and our Good Friday run!

Big Fat Love from Big Fat (allbeit 3.5lbs lighter) Me!


Thursday, 9 April 2009


So, it's midnight or thereabouts, just got in, had a lovely evening celebrating my bestest gal pal Abbi's birthday. Done really well drinking-wise. 3 small glasses white wine, 6 points. I went out at 8pm so that's over 4 hours and so am not squiffy or anything, PLUS I'm within points. And all is right with the world.

I was literally takin' off my coat and putting the kettle on for a cuppa before bed when Husband (who is clearly clueless) yelled to me "Do you want some white Tiger bread toast with butter on?"


Is he ACTUALLY insane?!?!?!?

Tiger bread is sooooo gorgeous, it smells heavenly and is fab cut in 2 inch-thick slabs, lightly toasted and covered in butter BUT that was in another life, when I was 16 and had the metabolism of a whippet! I love my husband (obviously) but sometimes I do wonder if he EVER listens to what I say!! What a total doofus!!!!

It took every modicum of self restraint I posess not to chin him there and then!!

I explained calmly and rationally that, no, I would not be partaking of white bread toast with butter at such a late hour if, indeed, ever again! I then lost it and lectured on him on the evils of white flour and how it has less nutritional value than diet freakin' coke and also managed to tell him that he deserves to be obese, the way he eats!! Oopsie. Ah well, he started it with such asinine suggestions! Doofus-face.

Good GOD, man! What were you thinking!?

My man is a TOTAL saboteur!!! ;)


BFP xoxo

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Introducing Give in, Balance and Nut Job!!

Morning all! Me again, yakking on about what I eat. Bored yet?

Ok then. So here’s the thing. Yesterday I didn’t get to swim at lunch. This was because the girls had organised a lunch date in honour of someone’s birthday and I had said yes weeks ago. I REALLY WANTED to swim, in fact I started to get all anxious about NOT being able to go to the pool, so I cancelled the lunch plans. And THEN I got an email from the organiser of the lunch saying that everyone else had cried off - so OBVIOUSLY I felt immediately guilty and made some lame ass excuse about being able to make it after all, but not for lunch. (They were going to a Wetherspoons! WETHERSPOONS! AS IF there’s anything I can eat there!!)

I had to give myself a right old talking to, let me tell you. This pursuit of good health (and I am TRYING to focus on that rather than the weight loss) is a lifelong thing. It is not going to happen overnight, and in the grand scheme of things, if I miss one day of swimming it’s all going to be ok. It’s about balance. I am definitely an all or nothing person. I am learning more and more how to integrate my extremes into one fairly rounded individual but it’s tough! The anxiety I felt yesterday was, to me, an alarm bell; one of the delightful throwbacks to my crazy eating disorder days. Something that tells me I need to have a word with myself; ‘OK, let’s take stock. The obsessive behaviour may be about to rear its ugly head. You know that when you start to get angry and stressed with situations, like for example, friends – people you ACTUALLY love spending time with - for including you in plans you haven’t prepared for or that interfere in some way with your control of the day it’s time to stop, rest, reassess. ‘

So I did.

I did not go swimming and engineered it so that they would have ordered before I got there. I had an Apple and Melon J20 with lots of ice (2 points I think – couldn’t find it online) whilst the girls ate onion rings, white flour tortilla wraps, chunky chips, full fat mayo and all kindsa crap.

I feel so ashamed but I actually did that thing (internally) where I gloated a little bit about them stuffing themselves with crap whilst I abstained. That horrible bitchy girl thing where I sit feeling gloriously empty and therefore smug with triumph and totally serene– the same feeling I used to get by not eating for weeks on end or by gorging and then puking. Dangerous territory for me, again that alarm bell went off.

IT’S ALL ABOUT BALANCE ELIZABETH! For me, following a diet, way of life, healthy eating plan, call it what you will, becomes all-encompassing. I’m either in, or I’m out. I’m a ‘complete-finisher’ apparently! I go through 3 ‘types’ or versions of ‘me’ when I am dieting! Type One is ‘Give in easily’ – so using the example above, at one time I would gladly have welcomed the excuse not to go swimming and furthermore, eaten the god-awful pub food perfectly happily with my chums.

The second one would be ‘Balance’. Again, using the above example: I would have accepted, without anxiety, that I would not have the opportunity to swim that day. I would have researched the menu online and found the healthiest option so that I stayed in control and made sure I worked out a bit harder the following day to account for the unplanned, and most importantly, I would not have let it bother me.

I am currently in the 3rd type – which I like to call ‘Nutjob’ I need to get back to Type 2! Was I ever there? Will this ALWAYS be such a struggle? It took me a week to get to this place after being a TYPE One-r in Barcelona, and afterward.

I fluctuate between wanting to be healthy and perpetuate this plan as a way of life – fitting it into my life, and ‘all or nothing, do or die, slog slog slog diet at all costs’ weird obsessive compulsive, anxiety driven behaviour.

I KNOW there is a pattern of behaviour like that in my cognitive processes and I have worked damn hard at modifying them and finding a balance. This has been no easy walk in the park dudes! BUT I am sooooooo much more ‘normal’ than I was HAHA!

It’s a challenge for me to eat healthy and try to lose weight the RIGHT WAY when I know with certainty that I can do it a whole host of other, shall we say, less healthy ways. Been there, done that, lets not open that particular Pandora’s box!

So, a stern word has been had. I am NOT going to organise my life based on how many calories I have burned off, I am going to embrace my healthy lifestyle because it’s for me, it makes me feel good, it’s about being the best me I can be for me, not anyone else and not at the expense of health, happiness and relationships. So there. Job done. Swift slap across the face and I’m good to go! Lol!

So this morning I feel wholly in control in a positive way rather than a slightly unhinged my-world-will-fall-apart-if-I-cannot-workout way (I wasn’t THERE yesterday, merely caught and paid attention to the warning signs!) And ironically, Husband called me at work just now asking me if I wanted to meet him for lunch (he’s off this week) - the state I was in yesterday, that invitation would have sent me loopy. Not this morning however. I have taken issue with my weirdness, addressed it and moved on. I calmly advised him that I couldn’t do lunch because I wanted (not ‘needed’) to go for a swim. I choose to do that this lunchtime, because it makes me feel good, gives me time to think and benefits me hugely. I am making a sensible choice – I am out tonight again where there will be alcohol and I did not swim yesterday, so today I will.

Do you see the difference?

The difference between a compulsion and a choice. A ‘need’ to do something and a ‘want’. Being controlled by something and controlling it.

The difference between yesterday and today.

Interesting stuff hey!

And with that mini mental breakdown report over and done with, onto the boring stuff!

Yesterday I had :

B – 2 x Weetabix with skimmed milk (2) - Am getting a bit fed up with them but in terms of fibre they do the job, if you catch my drift…. J, plus English Breakfast tea. Milk allowance for day (2).

L – Apple and Melon J20 (2) (grrrrrrr). 4 Ryvitas (2) and 2 laughing Cow (1) plus strawberries (1).

D – Leftover ratatouille thing (0) plus a small baked potato (2.5)

Snacks – grapes (1) and yoghurt (1) plus 2, yes 2, litres of agua (0). At the pub I had 4 single vodka lime and sodas, 25ml shots and sugarfee lime so (4) total. That sound like a lot but I was there from 8pm till midnight so one an hour is pretty good going for a party gal like myself!!!!! I also had a bag of ww baked crisps (1) at the meeting.
Exercise – 1 hour pilates and a shuffle home J

Total for Tuesday: 19.5

Which brings me to Wednesday! I have most definitely got that Friday feeling today as I am off tomorrow until next Tuesday – yaaaaay for Easter!

B – 2 x Weetabix plus skimmed milk (did I mention I am creature of habit and routine who has a tendency to stick to patterns? Hahaha!!) (2) plus 2 x tea (0), milk allowance (2)

Midmorning – grapes(1), strawberries (0.5) and yoghurt (1)

Lunch – 4 Ryvita (2) and Laughing cow (1) plus rest of strawbs (0.5) and another yoghurt

Dinner – Final instalment of the ratatouille (0) this time with 60g of whole-wheat pasta (3)

So that will be 14 points out of 20, leaving me 6 remaining for tonight’s festivities. Which is not a lot. Which is good! So I figure 2 glasses champagne (4) and maybe a G&SLT (1) with water in between. How’s that sound?

Exercise – swim @ lunchtime and then after work I am going to do another run – haven’t decided on the 4k @8.5kph or the interval training…..we shall see!! (God my life is sooooooooo exciting!)

Must dash - there is actually work to be done!!
Heaps of love, your crazy friend

BigFatPie xoxo

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Tracking every day #2

Ok, so where was I up to with this tracking lark yesterday? Ah yes, I had swum a mile in 45 minutes – hurrah! A definite personal best. This is continual swimming, I might add, no putting feet down or resting!

Anyhoop. After that I came back to the office and had my lunch (already pointed in yesterday’s post)

At 5:30pm I headed to the gym. YES, after having already swum. Desperate times call for desperate measures don’tcha know!!??

My ‘Day 2’ cardio from Chris the PT said ‘ 4k @8-8.5kph’ – I thought I was hallucinating. But I was determined to do it, so I got cracking and warmed up for five minutes, walking and then a gentle run and then cranked up the kph, got my ‘workout’ playlist on my trusty ipod and went for it.

(A brief aside….once again I found that I had to tuck my ipod into the shoulder strap of my sports bra because for some bizarre reason, women’s workout pants never have zip pockets. It’s soooooooooo bizarre/annoying! I am convinced I will kill my ipod by continually immersing it in sweat! Hahaha)

Just under 30 minutes later I finished!! I FINISHED A RUN! Normally I would WELL have given in and walked a bit or slowed the pace, but no, I kept the 8.5kph pace throughout, didn’t walk once!! I am SUCH a clockwatcher though – I had to put my towel over the display so I couldn’t agonise over the distance ticking by! Of course, it did help that the treadmill overlooked the pool so I could amuse myself whilst the men’s swim team did their drills….(HELLOOOO!!!!!!!) I felt like Rachel in ‘Friends’, ‘ooh! I like swimmers’ bodies!’ HAHAHA! It also helped that I had a conversation with myself in my head which went a little like this:

“You doofus don’t even think about giving up and slowing down to a walk, this is 30 little minutes out of your life so bloody shut up and get on with it. You’re a qualified Cognitive Therapist for crying out loud, use a technique! Use a technique! You totally believe in them and use them with clients all the time! Self talk! Self talk! You can do it! Visualise the goal! Imagine what this is doing to the fat cells in your bod! Imagine how smug/great you’ll feel at the end! Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!”

Anyhoop. I was on such a cardio high that I added in a second element of cardio as per my plan, and rowed 1000m with the damper at level ten – this was a good warm down after the run – my face was sooooooo red it was hilarious!

Upon arriving home I put a skinless, lean chicken breast (2.5) in the oven covered in paprika, and a sweet potato (3) to bake. I used 2 tins of chopped tomatoes, chicken stock, mushrooms, broccoli, green pepper, yellow pepper, leek, garlic, coriander leaf, red onion (0) in a big pan, with some tomato puree to thicken, and left it to simmer whilst I did the following:

- leg extensions across non-stability ball 3 sets of 15
- tornado chop with 3kg weight 3 sets of 12
- ab crunches on non-stability ball 3 sets of 15
- single leg squat passing 3kg weight around body 5 times 4 sets (left and right)
- hip extension plus chest press, which sounds gross but is basically a pilates shoulder stand and as you raise your hips you chest press the weight in the air. Thank God the husband was out! Hahaha!
- Twin arm raise, which I call ‘the arm twist one’ 3 sets of 10 reps.

I then had dinner and read a bit of ‘New Moon’ before falling asleep for an hour on the couch! HAHA! I am an old woman.

This morning I had 2 Weetabix and skimmed milk again (2), milk allowance (2), with 2 cups of English Breakfast tea. I was also really dehydrated this morning so by 10am had already finished a litre of water!

Midmorning I had grapes (1) and a peach and passionfruit ‘Satisfaction’ yoghurt (1)

So, last night’s points total was 13 which saves me 7. I have no idea how many exercise points I earned but if I don’t count’em, I can’t eat ‘em! Haha!

Running total for today is 4 not including milk.

I need to be strict this week (a) to lose the gain from Spain (rhyme, much?!) and (b) because it’s Easter - oh YAAAAY!!!! The Spring Christmas, I love it!

It also means that the London contingent all head back up north to see their families and pals, and of course such occasions are celebrated with ‘Drinks?’ type texts whizzing back and forth.

Which means my week ahead looks something like this! :

Tuesday – pilates at 6 with Emma after ww meeting at 5 followed by drinks with the Kennaughs @ Rose & Crown
Wednesday – swim at lunch time and interval training after work, then drinks with the Murphys @ Leverhulme Hotel & Spa
Thursday – session with PT (hello inability to walk for the next 3 days), no social events due to impending inability to walk.
Friday – church then run (possibly), maybe a walk is more probable? Or I could get my bike out? Or hang out with Emma!! I think the gang has organised a hike up Snowdon but I am certain I won’t be in any fit state to partake in that challenge! Swimming won’t be an option as pool is closed for Good Friday, and in the evening drinks @Chronicle with Laura the hot lawyer
Saturday – get weighed, take 5 year old niece swimming, workout, have a lie down in a darkened room to recover!
Sunday – Beautiful, Glorious, Triumphant, Risen indeed Easter! Lunch with the Millars and evening with the Povalls
Monday – sleep a LOT, drink no alcohol and get ready for work!!!

Gotta love Easter!

So, There’s a lot of alcohol indulgence going on over the next week. Honestly, it’s AS BAD as Christmas! This is my danger zone and I know it. So. I am going to ban myself from wine and have shorts instead, that way I can alternate with SLT and no one has to know :) I might have a glass of champagne on Wednesday but it’s Abbi’s birthday and the Leverhulme is so beautiful in all its art deco glory that one simply has to partake of the bubbly. MODERATION is the key - ie 2 glasses of wine MAX or equivalent - anymore than that and I go into MUST-EAT-CARBS overdrive.....

I am going to stick to minimal points and maximum exercise and not waste my points on non-filling foods or processed crap. I think I am also going to sack off bread. That always helps me feel thinner.

SO I have a plan – plus I’m still on my tracking every day this week bender, so I feel prepared……*gulp*

Right. Must dash, it’s almost midday – swimming time!!!!!

Heaps of Easter-y love

BigFatPie xoxo

Monday, 6 April 2009

Clueless UK

So, for those of you not on this side of the pond, here's a little illustration of 'groundbreaking' and 'newsworthy' developments in Great Britain's quest to fight the flab.....I told you we were waaaaaaaaaaay behind y'all!


Comments please...

BFP xoxo

Tracking ALL WEEK LONG Day 1

B - 2x Weetabix with skimmed milk (2 points)
2x English breakfast Tea with skimmed milk (0 points)
Skimmed milk allowance for day (2 points)

Mid morning - fresh strawberries (1/2 a point)

L - 4x Ryvita wholegrain (2 points)
2x Laughing Cow Light Cheese Triangles (1)
1x WW Black Cherry Yoghurt (1)

1L Water drunk throughout day.

That's it so far - very boring I know but I NEED to do this, especially having gained 2.5lbs over my holiday (IN A WEEK, FFS!) and given my increasing frustration with not losing ANY WEIGHT. I've been pretty much 170lbs for a freaking YEAR and I have HAD ENOUGH! You've seen pictures of me. I know I'm not morbidly obese. I know it's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. I know that people are dying and there's a war But it's NOT NATURAL to me to be this heavy. ESPECIALLY given how much and how frequently I exercise and how I watch what I eat. I've even knocked the social over-drinking on the head and NOTHING!


Beginning to think there's something wrong with me.

BFP xoxo

EDIT: swam 64 lengths (1 mile) in 45 minutes at lunchtime.

This week...

....I am going to track everything!


Sunday, 5 April 2009


I am writing this to serve as a warning and reminder to myself for future reference.....reasons why wine just ain't worth it....

We went to The Chronicle, our local bar, last night to celebrate the birthdays of some good pals. I was feeling fabulous: I'd had a really good workout during the day with my new personal workout programme designed just for me, had eaten really healthily and allowed for two large glasses of my favourite wine within my points allowance, having checked with the WW Amazing Guru what the points were. So I was all set and feeling good.

I paced myself with those 2 glasses, amidst great conversation and laughs galore,got home at a reasonable hour, totally sober.

And there the fun ended:

My sleep was broken with chronic acid indigestion

My mind was buzzing

My head feels all fuzzy

I did not sleep well at all

I kept waking up in the night

I feel tired and lethargic today

I am soooo dehydrated

I wanna carb over-load today

Ohhhhhh it's just NOT worth it! All this after 2 little glasses of vino!

I think my love affair with the vino may well be over........

BFP xoxo

Friday, 3 April 2009

Question du jour

Why do they call it a "stability ball", when the bloody thing could not be farther from the very definition of "stable". Odd. Very odd. Is it ironic? Or just an oxymoron. Or am I a moron for trying to exercise on it?

Ooops - that's more than one question. Ah well.

BFP xoxo

Thursday, 2 April 2009

"Guess, who's back, back again....."

Hello dear readers! I’m BACK!!!! Yes, estoy en Inglaterra de nuevo.

Barcelona was as wonderful as ever – seriously one of my most favourite cities in the Whole Wide World. This was my 4th time of visiting and there is still so much I want to do there!

Eating-wise, I got off to a great start!

(Tapas Restaurant)

Then we went out for tapas on Saturday night to a beautiful Catalan restaurant, filled with locals (always a good sign that a- you won’t get ripped off, and b – the food is GOOD) and it most certainly didn’t disappoint! We had :

pan amb tomaquet (pan con tomate if you speak Castilian, or tomato bread a bit like bruschetta if you don’t!)
croquetas de jamon
patatas braves
ensalada griega
chorizo y queso (with cheese)
aceitunas (olives)
bombas de patatas - like a ‘bomb’ made of potato and veg
calamares – squid
champinones al ajillo
paella de verduras
mejillones (mussels)
(BigFatPie eats Tapas)

I also had….wait for it……a couple glasses of wine!

Yes friends, the wine fast is over……I didn’t make it to Easter but I did last 30 days. And I chose to end the fast in Barcelona, rather than I fell off the wagon, because it worked out to be far more economical, euros-wise, as the other 2 girls were drinking wine and we’d pooled our money to cover eating and drinking over the holiday and shorts were waaaaaaaaaaaaay more expensive than vino. Here I am opening a bottle (or tryign to, at least)....monumentous occasion!

We then moved from the Sagrada Familia part of town (Eixample District) into La Rambla and to a fave bar of mine on Carrer Ferran (Barri Gotic – Gothic Quarter of town) called The Temple Bar. It’s an Irish bar, so not terribly Spanish BUT it is owned and run by some lovely Catalan people. There I got involved with sangria in a delightful terracotta jug, leaving the other girls to do sambucca shots (oh dear), whilst translating from English to Spanish and/or Catalan and then into French (we met some randoms – oh how glad I was to flash my weddings rings and get THAT message across loud and clear!!)

Sunday breakfast was a fresh fruit salad at our apartment, the ingredients for which we’d bought the day before, and Karen had lovingly prepared for us!

We then went walk about around our neighbourhood, grabbed lattes (at freaking Starbucks - much against my better judgement but I was outvoted!) and then boarded the tourist open top bus (again, against my better judgement BUT Karen and Louise had never been to ‘real Spain’ before so I figured I’d make the sacrifice….and actually REALLY enjoyed seeing my fave city this way) We stopped at Gaudi’s Parc Guell for lunch and I had a bocadillo de tortilla de patatas con Serrano – an irresistible combination of omelette made with potato and onions wrapped around Serrano ham, warmed on a baguette…..yes, evil white bread and carb city combo but OMIGAWD it was gooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!

I did, however, manage to spurn the dreaded diet coke and went for water instead!

At the end of the day, about 7pm, we headed for the beach via Port Vell so the girls could see that Barcelona does indeed have everything you could possibly want/need in a holiday and had coffee at a gorgeous Spanish café before heading back to Sagrada Familia.

We stayed local for our evening meal and trawled restaurants until we found one that (a) had real Catalan people in and (b) offered an alternative to carbs! Ha!

We ended up in a little café/bar type affair, all dark and smokey with people gossiping and eating eating tapas at the bar, all Catalan and Spanish mixed and elegant beer glasses – I was in my element! I witnessed a particularly aggressive conversation between the waitress and a couple seated next to us about how he felt the waitress should speak to him in Catalan and Catalan only since they were catalan people and in catalonia. He took it as an insult when spoken to in Castilian……interesting……

Anyhoo, I had spinach ravioli in napoletana sauce and a MASSIVE salad, with a few Estrella beers – utter BLISS!

I finished off the meal con un espresso and then we had a bottle of wine back at the apartment - between the 3 of us, just FYI! Here's the 3 of us....

Monday morning arrived and I wanted to walk the girls around La Rambla, La Boqueria and El Barri Gotic. La Boqueria is Barcelona’s most famous fresh market – the colours, smell, flavours, sights and sounds are truly a sight to behold and I was soooooooo glad Karen and Louise loved it – they ran around snapping away on their cameras! I grabbed a smoothie whilst I was there – passion fruit all freshly made there and then with ice and that’s it, and also a fruit box filled with strawberries and melon, so that was breakfast.
After that we spied a Gelato bar and well, I was on holiday so I got 2 scoops: one of white chocolate and one of pistachio which was just enough – anymore and I would have felt sick!!

We walked La Rambla and then Calle Ferran onto Placa Reial and Jaume 1, through the Gothic quarter marvelling at how beautiful it is – we walked for about 3 hours before fatigue set in, so we lunched at Pitta Inn – cheap and cheerful – I had pitta falalfel and a salad bowl with an Estrella !

After some more walking it was time to head back (again via Starbucks – which I refused to partake in! – it’s just NOT Spanish!!!!!)

Dinner that night began in a champagne bar and then we hit Sinatra’s in El Barri Gotic and had chicken stuffed with cheese, aubergine and tomato which was GORGEOUS!

And then all too soon it was Tuesday and we had to leave for the airport where I consoled myself with a final bocadillo de tortilla con patatas and a caffe con leche desnatada………

So all in all I think I made good food choices, I didn’t go crazy or deviate from my usual eating plan but there were a few treats here and there.

The thing that has absolutely CABBAGED ME is getting back into the swing of things! Making breakfast and lunches to take to work, cooking when I get in, exercising - it's all gone completely out the window to be honest. My precious routine!!! GONE! In a matter of DAYS! soooooooooo not looking forward to getting weighed on saturday - I think it's a combination of factors to be honest - the fact of being on holiday and relaxing (too much) and ALSO I've given myself permission to sack it off in a way, because I'm so mad at my doctor with what she said to me on the Friday before I went.....I'm in a 'wtf is the point' kinda place...more on this later.

ANYhoop - I just wanted to show you a few pics (sorry they're all of me eating! HAHA!) I WILL get a flickr account for this and learn how to work it - I PROMISE!
It's good to be back....
Heaps of love
BFP xoxo

Lap Dancing Man is back!

Arrrrrggghh! I'm on the commute home and suggestive change your career to a lap dancer man is here!!!!!! Arrrgggghhhh!!! I am pretending to be VERY busy indeed on my BlackBerry!!!!!!!

Bleugh !!

BFP xxxx

Oh ps - I'm back, just FYI!!! ;)