Random blathering....

Hello children how are we all today?

So, someone extremely wise commented a few days ago that maybe I am suffering from the ‘all or nothing’ syndrome.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought ‘Well bugger me, she’s absolutely right!’ (Thanks Bri !!)

Now I am fairly certain this was something I already knew about myself and have reflected on numerous times over the course of my life thus far but maybe I’d just….forgotten? Reading back through this blog you will see a pattern of ‘all or nothingness’ in terms of how I eat, when and how often I exercise and when/what I lose. Interesting huh? It tends to go in 4 week cycles (duh….is there a connection? Ya think?!) I’ll do amazing for 2 weeks, lose consecutively and quite a lot, then relax and not do so well, then stay the same or gain and the following week and eat myself into oblivion. As wonderful Jen over at Prior Fat Girl said yesterday, even if the whole monthly ‘stress n’ mess’ isn’t evident, the bloody hormones and mood swings still are! GAH!

Sooooo, what I need to keep a track of (as well as everything else I bloody track - I swear I am a psychologist’s dream!) is just that – the whole ‘fluctuation in motivatedness’ that I mentioned yesterday (Marisa! THANK YOU for your solidarity sister!). What I want to get to is a place of balance. A place where I am content with my weight and my body, a place where healthy eating and exercise are integral to my everyday, forevermore life – not just a means to an end. I think possibly that I still think in the old thought pattern of ‘when I am skinny’. When I was crazy restrictive with my diet back in the day, everything used to be ‘when I am skinny…’ and now looking back I WAS BLOODY SKINNY! But that’s not the point; the point is I was waiting for my life to BEGIN when I was happy with me or my perception of what I thought I would be. And truth be told, I am not there yet. But you know what? My life has begun! I’m almost 31 years old! I have a pretty amazing life to be honest, irrespective of what the freakin’ scale says every Saturday morning. What I want to be able to do is hold everything in perspective - a balanced perspective! It’s not too much to ask is it?!

This is why I like weightwatchers so much – whatever your opinion of its giant conglomerate corporate schmorporate bobbins is, the programme works, and if you allow it, it can educate you about food and how best to eat for optimum health and satisfaction for life, not just counting points in 100 calorie processed crap snacks in order to lose fast and in the short term! It gives you a balanced perspective. It's not the only thing out there by any means, but it's the one that I found, and it works for me.

So folks this is my current aim: BALANCE IN ALL THINGS!! We’ll see how we go!!

In other news, it’s OFFICIAL! I am a proper blogger!!! *gets all self important* the good people at POM Wonderful emailed me today and want to send me some juice type affair…….just like happens with all you lot! HOW COOL IS THAT!!!!! Of course, I did email right back and tell them that I live in the UK (sadly – why aren’t I North American!!?? HAHA!) and fresh juice possibly wouldn’t make it this far…….but still, it’s nice to be contacted!!!! I already emailed those Holey Donut people and told them to get their butts in gear and start shipping to the UK!!! Now all I need is the Pop Chips dudes on board and I’ll be all set…MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Eating’s been good the past 2 days….last night I baked a sweet potato and ate the whole thing with some couscous and sweet corn and red pepper cottage cheese which is sooooooooo low in calories and tastes gorgeous. And today I added red cabbage and pickled onion to my salad. Had an email to my BlackBerry from Rich to say that his salad was a bit soggy! Cheeky bugger! I obviously hadn’t drained the spinach properly after I washed it! Oops! (Make your own bloody lunch then sonny Jim is what I almost said to him!) so I have just been on ebay and bought a retro (orange – to match my Le Creuset stuff!) salad spinner! I remember hours of fun with that when we were kids back in the 80’s!So no more soggy salad stuff for me!

Things with PT are going well too – Just moved onto my 3rd programme, only gone through half of it though but will post about it when I’ve been through it all with him. I’ve lost 6lbs of fat and gained 4lbs of lean muscle in 2 weeks so it must be working a little bit! AND my Jillian Michaels dvd arrived – I cannot believe I forgot to post about his!! HAHAHA She is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! I like her though, not too ‘cheerleadery’! My only problem is that I do such a complete routine at the gym that I don’t have time to do Jillian too (that’s the wrongest sentence I’ve actually ever written….) so maybe I’ll incorporate her into my routine, like maybe not go the gym one evening and do the dvd instead? What do you think? I also want to commit to and stick to one pilates or yoga class a week – ideally more but what with running, core and resistance training there just isn’t the time, and if I only did a pilates class one evening I’d panic that I hadn’t worked out enough! Am I being a dumbass? Can someone advise??!! I am naturally very flexible from all the ballet I’ve done but I definitely notice that the ‘use it or lose it’ principle applies. I used to watch tv sitting in the splits with my head on my front leg, just for shiggles and because the stretch is llluuuuuvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllyyy and now I definitely could NOT do that. So yeh, a bit more flexibility please.

We’re in the middle of a heatwave here in Blighty. It’s not really sunshiney, get a tan kind of a heatwave, at least not in the North West, more like that muggy, close heat where you can’t catch a breath! Anyways, my reason for telling you this is that I was like omg I am going to have to buy clothes for work because none of my summer stuff fits me anymore (yet) but before I did I decided to see how far I’ve got to go before I can wear my old which will be like new wardrobe – and lo and behold most of it FITS!!! Hallelujah chorus please!! Yep indeedy, today I am sporting a midnight blue and grey silk Vera Wang number (which is actually VERY 2005/6 Prada-esque) with high heeled wedges and no sleeves because I FINALLY am getting sexy arms with real, actual proper freaking muscles in! WAHOOP!!!! FULL ON NSV! Oh YES!

And on that note, dear blog-a-logs, I shall leave you and fit in another hour or so of work before heading to the gym. Seriously, though, thank you for all your comments and wise words and encouragements. I TOTALLY could not do this without blathering on about it to you all, so I am very grateful!

Have a wonderful Thursday evening/day depending on which time zone you live in!!!!

Heaps of love

ME! xxxx