MeRrY ChRiStMaS!!!!

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas indeed, and a truly happy, healthy & prosperous 2011!

Thank you for all your love, support, comments, emails, tweets and facebooking this year. You really are wonderful and this blog is so much a part of my continued success with the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle....Couldn't do it without you!!!! Lots of love to you all, Lizzie xoxo

The ballet world is a-buzz!

Oooh! Go read this! From the lovely Charlotte. I won't recreate the post here (she + her readers I am sure will say it all!)but I am most definitely formulating some thoughts about this! Most probably ones that will be contrary to popular belief! I cannot wait to see the film in and of itself, never mind all the hoopla that is sure to surround it!

Too bad it's not out here till January.....

Lizzie xoxo

Pain in the neck...

Quite literally!

Please bear with me folks! What is it with me, December and flipping injuries!? Just when the season of eating is upon us and I aim to rely on my carefully honed gym attendance and running skillz, I am afflicted with a horrid injury. Last year was the debacle of ITB and this year is all about the neck! I have had a niggling neck pain for a little over a week now and despite using copious amounts of ibuprofen & Deep Heat it is showing no signs of abating. I cannot get comfortable when I sleep - so much so that I have been relegated to the spare room because the husband cannot function on so little sleep! It's fine when I am moving but all of a sudden when I sit still a wave of pain coems over me. Apparently, this is a muscle spasm.

I went to the GP this morning who firstly suggested I fashion a neck brace out of several sheets of newspaper and 'one of your mother's silk scarves'. Yes, apparently, I went to the Doctor's in the 1950's today, so that was nice. What a quack. He did, however, give me some super duper pain killers and some super strength deep heat and recommend physiotherapy, which is paid for by the nhs HURRAH, so the referral has gone in. I am booked in for a sports massage on Weds should the muscle relax enough to actually be manipulated. At present, my right shoulder is higher than the left. Delightful. So we shall see. Hopefully the painkillers will do the trick. I couldn't work out all weekend so I anticipate the twitchy legs and crippling paranoia about weight gain will kick in soon.

BLOODY BUGGERY BUMS. (sorry)

Madly, in my head I actually considered going to the gym this evening. I don't think I'll get away with BodyPump.....but I am NOT becoming enslaved to the stupid recumbent bike again....think I might wait till Weds, see what Mr PT has to say and then go from there.

I am in a foul mood. I reeeeeeeeally suck as a patient.

I'd better go..... there's a tennis ball with my name on it that I need to do some self mfr with. Oh the glamour!

Hope you're all well!!!

Love Lizzie xoxo

I am having an affair.....there, I said it!

...with this..... ;-)

Yes peeps, I am in love with a foam roller.

Nobody panic, I have not taken leave of my senses. I am merely trying to communicate to you my new-found adoration for this weird piece of equipment. They say that there's a fine line between pleasure and pain. It's my belief that whoever coined that phrase was, at the time, foam rollering his or her iliotibial band.

At the gym t'other day, I was having a post interval sprint gasp, er..chat, with one of the gym bods who is a lovely chap, all of 20 years old, with a real passion for running and helping people to train correctly. We often have chats - he's taught me to do a proper pull up. He asked if I'd seen the new piece of equipment. I cast my eyes around the room expecting a new treadmill or (God forbid) another bloody PowerPlate (Yes, I do think they're for lazy people. What of it?!) but nooooo....couldn't see anything. We walked over to the stretching area. And lo and behold, there it was. Martin presented the roller to me as proudly as a new dad showing off his offspring. I was deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelighted!

I have heard about these foam rollery things and used one on occasion when I could get my hands on one (believe it or not, relatively new phenomenon in the UK - usually only available from verrrrrry expensivo physio shops....PTL for amazon.co.uk!) - especially this time last year when I had that sucky injury to my hip flexors caused by a too tight ITB. So needless to say, I was eager to get involved! I have had a few really disappointing training sessions lately and a lot of leg fatigue so I was quite excited to rejuvenate the old pins! (Taken longer to recover from the Hell Runner than I thought, and longer to get the miles back in my legs *sad face*)

You know that (other) old saying: 'Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen'?? Well this is how I reckon the foam roller feels about me. (Just go with me on this...)...because it REALLY BLOODY HURTS when you use it but afterwards, you're left with such release that you can't help but go back for more the next time.....

And therein lies my problem. I am hopelessly addicted to it. I've hogged it after every run or sprint session I've done since and my legs definitely feel 'looser' and more quickly recovered after training, particularly as I begin to get back into the swing of things after slacking a bit. Most def feeling the benefits. Nowt wrong with that. No one else seems to want to use it. Job's a good'un!

However.

I have a *slight* issue I need to bring to your atttention.

How on earth does one accurately and effectively use the foam roller without (a) yelling loud expletives, (b) groaning and moaning (c) looking/sounding like you're auditioning to be in a porn film??

(Personally, I think the answer is buy one and use it at home....preferably when no one else is around...and believe you me, it's at the top of my Christmas list!) BUT at the gym, what is the correct etiquette? Do you grin and bear it or just let the pain out?!

I was literally having fits of giggles as I worked on my legs imagining (a) what I must look like to everyone else, and (b) what I must have sounded like! Imagine surpressing a scream akin to the scream you emit when you get a sports massage and have an elbow unceremoniously jabbed in your glutes.....I am not a quiet subject when I get massaged so I can only imagine what I sounded like! HAHAHA! I drew some funny looks, let me tell you! Nor am I particularly given to ever using the f word. Apparently this is not true where foam rollers (or massage, as it happens) are concerned. Oopsie.

Remember the secen in 'Friends' when Phoebe accuses Monica of making sex noises when she gets massaged? That's how I imagine I sounded to people...which only made me laugh even more.

So, I don't know what the answer is but boy am I glad my gym invested in one.

( - As a brief aside, yes there is just one. That means other people have used it. Which makes me feel slightly ill. I am trying to get over it.)

Here's to 'loose legs' and better running!

lovelove

Lizzie xoxo

*EDIT*

Here's a link for youtube demo of foam rollering - not of me doing it, I hasten to add!!

Hell Runner Up North 2010 *edited*

Hello! I SURVIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell Runner was absolutely FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC! I LOVED it! Don't get me wrong, it was hard work but wow what a feeling! I am so very glad I ran those ten miles last Thursday night in torrential rain and howling gales! The course was like nothing we'd expected. 10 miles, sure, but the HILLS - ohhh the hills! Craziest inclines, up and down, repeat ad nauseaum. 2 bogs in total, so as soon as you'd dried off from one you were plunged into the next. There were points where you couldn't actually run because the terrain was so steep it involved literally hand over hand climbing up roots and then sliding down the other side. There were points when I felt as if I was in the Army!! Thank the Lord the weather was beautiful!

Anyhoo, with all the bottle necks and waiting for dithering people to get in the bog, Chris + I finished it in 2:08, which is a bit longer than we'd have liked BUT it's very tricky to actually run at speed in ankle deep mud - not an altogether suitable terrain for my poor old knee! Kept feeling it twinge as if it were going to pop out again! *retches*

I've added a few pics from the event photographer so you can get an idea.

I am so proud of myself for doing this!

I must still be jacked up on endorphins because I just signed up for the Liverpool Half Marathon. GAH! So I guess running is going to be a big focus for my training for the next little while! YIKES!!!!

Chris + I at the end of the race covered in bog.

My sprint finish! I beat my pt by 1 second hahaha! (he so totally would have finished quicker if it weren't for my slow ass running - what a gent!)

Not too sure about the Bog of Doom

Go PT goooooo!!!

Absolutely LOVING it!

So, whaddaya think??!! Isn't it great that by having lost weight and living healthily we can tame our bodies so that they perform for us in this way? Life is good!

LOVELOVE

Lizzie xoxox

************************************************************************************

Due to popular demand, (well Charlotte asked) , this is how the race went.

Context

The longest I have ever run up to this race was 11k. Having lost 50lbs and trained with a professional, I now run a pretty decent (for me) 20 minute 5k and a 49 minute 10k, so I am fit-ish BUT have never pushed myself with distance. Add to this the fact that I have been in the show and thus have not had tremendous amounts of time or mind space to devote to this. So it was kind of a leap of faith. Plus I am extremely competitive. And easily goaded into things and whilst, generally speaking, my pt Chris is an all-round nice fellow, he does know how to push my buttons. He called me chicken. So I entered. Stupid - yes I know. We agreed to run it together, he promised not to bomb off like a mad thing, and we'd support (read 'drag') each other round.

Our schedules are sooooooooo different that despite living in the same neighbourhood we did not manage to do ONE SINGLE SOLITARY training run together.

I began to panic.

Last week I ran 4 miles and simply could not go on, I had a sore throat and was a human snot machine. Nice. Plus, I slept funny on my neck so my head was at a permanent angle for 3 days.

I began to have doubts.

I called him on Tuesday to make the decision. He talked me into it. He suggested I get a long run in before Sunday. Wednesday I was at audition workshops for Guys + Dolls so Thursday it had to be and then 2 days of absolute rest! Not a smart way to train for the longest, most demanding race you've ever yet done...note to self.

Thursday evening I was determined I would get out there. So obviously it was the coldest, wettest, most torrential rain + howling gales night of the year so far. I donned that glow in the dark running jacket and trusty Primarni head band and off I went. And I ran, And ran. And ran. Ten miles. I just got out and pushed myself. It took me an hour and a half but I bloody well did it.

(and then I had a 'proper whitey' as my sister would say, threw up and had the maaaajor squits, but that's another story)

I was ready.

Race Day

I was up at 6am. I ate 40g of steel cut porridge oats with skim milk + drank tea whilst repeating 'Just another day. Just another normal day' and 'I am going to Delamere Forest to look at Christmas trees'.

It didn't seem to work.

Chris and Mark picked me up at 8am sharp. (Mark is another guy from the studio who is, like, a proper athlete (and ran Hellrunner in 1 hour 14 minutes!).

You kinda drive through the forest to get to the carpark - it's like a mahoosive country park in Cheshire near Frodsham and so we could catch glimpses of course markers - y'know, those ominous dayglo background, black arrows that show you the way to go. We glimpsed some hills and some bogs......and all of a sudden it dawned on us. We were actually doing it!

(insert expletive here)

Fast forward to the start. 10am - the elite athlete's (Mark amongst them) dashed off. We set off at 10:20am. 'Resist the temptation to sprint' were Chris' wise-words. HAH! Couldn't have sprinted if I'd tried. The first section of the run was up a bloody hill! Imagine setting your treadmill on the highest incline and trying to run on it and then you have some idea of what I was faced with. After 2.5 miles of hills...yes....down and up, down and up and finally, mercifully down, we hit the proper trails, under tree cover, through the actual forest. I was feeling good, my breathing was good, energy levels good, wasn't knackered and the ground was firm so I could keep a steady pace - ie do 'real' running instead of the stop/start hills section. Familiar territory so we picked up our pace and overtook some people, the crowd thinned out which was helpful.

Then it got muddier.

In 2003 I suffered a pretty catastrophic (for anyone, let alone a ballet dancer) lateral dislocation fo the left patella. Whilst on a trampoline in a PE class. Error. My poor old knee has (obv!) never been the same since. (K)Needless to say it does not do well on unstable ground. Hello running in ankle deep thick, slimy, slippy, squelchy mud. Not ideal. I literally had to 'trot' for these bits, without any kind of pace because, well, I could feel my knee 'shifting' which is ususally a pretty good indicator of impending dislocation, and I did not want to have to pop it back in and hobble round the next 8 miles.....so this slowed me (us!) down. Chris dutifully hung out with me.

Then came the bog.

All I remember thinking is "OMG it's soooo not that BAD!!!!' - then I jumped in. Up to my waist. The bog bit kinda did my head in, I was most excited about this. I wanted to prove my mettle. Bu there were crowds of bloody dithering (sorry!) women on the bank having major stresses about getting their fricking trainers dirty. GAH! Click on ladies! You KNEW what you were entering. So female ditherers also slowed us down!

The other side of the bog I had no idea how far we'd gone - because there's so much mud we didnt take our Garmins, and there are NO MILE MARKERS for the whole race. I know. Stress!

So anyway. There was a bit of a trail run more, a quick water stop (I hope they recycled!) and then a sharp right turn back into the forest. The weather, though chilly, was beautifully sunny - great running conditions, and the scenery was gorgeous. The overall ambience of this race is F-U-N! I recall at this point feeling overwhelmed with gratitude that I CAN DO THIS and enjoy it and it's fun for me and I know my life is better because of it. (Hello drunk on endorphins!)

Then it was time for 'The Hills of Hell'

Great.

They weren't kidding. Here the running stopped and the climbing began. Literally hand-over-hand, reach out and grab a root and try to find a steady foothold in the mud oozing down the embankment. Chris, who is evidently part mountain goat, bounded up them like nobody's business, so of course I followed suit....competitive? moi? nooooooooooo!

Once up the steep bank, you had to get down.Cue running so fast your legs might come off whilst being propelled by (pulled by?) gravity towards the bottom of the incline at a rather rapid rate of knots. Scary.

And repeat.

Numerous times.

By this time I was starting to flag. A cheery 'How're your energy levels?!' from Mr PT himself nearly caused me to drown him in a bog. I was lagging. This was when I began to understand the appeal of...TA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA....gels!

Rewind back to the beginning of the race. Chris hands me two 'gels' - I didn't know what they were! Sure, I had heard about them but i ran 10 miles the other night without even a water bottle so why would I need gels now?! Plus, HOW MANY CALORIES must there be in them???!!*cue hyperventilation*

Also (rant alert) NIKE pleeeeeeeeeeeease make women's running shorts with zip pockets in to accommodate such things instead of that ridiculous little ipod pouch !

So anyways, Chris suggested I have a gel at this point. On account of having no pockets I had had to keep them between my boobs in my sports bra which having no boobs nowadays, is pretty easily done. SO by the time I came to eat it (drink it? consume it?) it was warm. Bleuch. Warm, runny, vaguely orange falvoured gunk, the consistency of phlegm. *vomits*.

I kept it down and patiently jogged waiting for it to kick in, not really knowing what to expect (sceptical? moi?!). And then....all of a sudden....WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!! I felt like I was on drugs (not that i know what that is like but how i imagine!) GORDON BENNETT!

I was racing up those hills like nobody's business, doing my best impression of a mountain goat without a care in the world! AMAAAAAAAAZING!

And then we reached the bog of Doooooooooooooooooooom.....

It was not fun. I may have started a mud fight. freezing cold, thigh high (and, as it happened, waist high) thick, gloopy, wet, foul smelling MUD. To wade through. For about ten minutes. Clambering over roots, trees, people, you get the idea. I LOVED IT!

And THEN getting out, covered in it and shoes filled with water and having to run the remaining whatever-it-was (i'd lost count) back up over the hill to the start. About 2 minutes before the end i almost lost the will to live and chris uttered the immortal line ' do i ahve to get all pt on your ass?' and that kicked me into a sprint finish, completely buggering up his plans of us crossing the line together! Hahaha! (see pic above)

We collected our excellent goody bags and headed home.

(About an hour after I got home I had THE WORST diarrhoea imaginable. Bloody carb gels.)

And that, my friends, was the race!

Hell Runner

It's Sunday morning. 6:30am. I am just about to set off for Delamere Forest in Cheshire, along with my pt, some other guys from our studio + 1500 other nutters to take part in the annual Hell Run. Might be 10 miles, might be 12. Definitely off road, definitely hilly, definitely wet, definitely muddy. Oh, and there's something called the "Bog of Doom".........

.....I'll keep you posted! Wish me luck! Eeeeek!!!!

www.hellrunner.co.uk

Lizzie xoxo
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Update

Hello chums! What an age it's taken me to update this blog! Shocking behaviour. Memo to me - must do better! Now then. What's new in my world? Allow me to update...

#1 See below - some pictures from the show I was in - I braved the costume and (in my humble opinion) actually rocked it in the end! No, my body was not perfect, or as toned or thin as I would have liked it to be on stage BUT I was HEALTHY and HAPPY with my performance and that, surely, is what counts most! It feels like a triumph anyway. Especially when you consider that this time last year I would NEVER even have considered such an outfit. On a stage. In public. In front of people who know me.

#2 Weightwatchers - Here in the UK we're all set next week for the brand new programme to be launched! New diet! New breakthrough! New you! My friends and I that clerk our local meeting have been trialling it in secret for a couple of weeks (me just for one week) and suffice it to say I am REALLY excited about it! Weight loss hhas been great and I think it affords me the opportunity to eat even healthier on plan. I onbviously can't say too much about it but I definitely think it's a good thing. It's high time WW UK got themselves in line with the rest of the world! Change is always a bit tricky and it's a faff to have to constantly look things up + check out stuff BUT I remind myself that it was this discipline that helped me succeed in the first place, not least because I have consciously thinking about each and every single thing I consume rather than knowing the plan and points values by heart. It's good to refocus.

#3 Becoming a pt - Rather mercifully the start of my practical course has been put back to January 2011. I was annoyed at first because I wanted to dive straight in BUT that would have meant that I'd gone from show week straight into the course and, well, I'm only human! Plus I have an absolute shed load of reading and learning to do before anything else so I am thankful for extra time!

#4 New project! - on the back of the success of 'forum' I have decided to audition to be in Guys and Dolls!!! It opens next April and it quite one of my favourite shows EVER! Sooo, auditions and workshops begin this evening! Wish me luck!! The reason I mention it here is because really it is another offshoot of my new healthy lifestyle. Because I am more confident about my body I can once again indulge my love of performing without detesting being looked at! It's crazy just how far reaching this weight loss malarkey is!

#5 This weekend - *GULP* I will be doing this Seriously. Watch the video. Am I insane? I blame my pt.

And as for me, well....it's November. The first day of the month fell on a Monday + this always make me happy. It feel like a new season, new beginning for me. According to weigh in on Saturday I have gained 7lbs over the past 3 weeks - I refute this entirely. I did have a relaxed week from 24th oct to 31st because I was so knackered after the show AND ill too, but there's no way that amount of fat has attached itself to my bod!. This week, however, I feel better - motivated, committed, driven. So I am counting, tracking, exercising and generally getting back into the swing of things. As I begin my training the focus of this blog may swing away from weightloss/maintenance to a more fitness focus....so I hope you'll still read + follow laong with me!!!

I'm got an unexpected day off (waiting in for a plumber) so I'm off for a foray into blogland to comment on all your blogs as I catch up on my reading!

Masses of love.

Lizzie xoxo

I'm back!

Hello!

I'm back! Bear with me! Full post-show report pending but for now I am having a crazy week of being back at work and trying to get back to some semblance of normality after a week of lunacy and in many ways the unhealthiest week EVER!

The show went really well, pics to follow and I am definitely auditioning for the next one! Physically I am absolutely shattered so haven't jumped straight back into my workout routine, as I had intended, but that's ok for one week, it won't kill me to chill out for a bit. Likewise with food, I am on day 4 of not counting or weighing myself and whilst it's weird, it's ok (mostly because I am too tired to be bothered!).

But this weekend I will have to drag myself back on track....because of this YIKES!!! How on EARTH do I get roped into these things??!!

So, that's it for now - I'm alive!

Catch ya soon with a proper post - promise!!

Love Lizzie xoxox

Busyness...and other excuses!

Apologies for my lack of blogging lately my doves! We are a week away from the show, so I am in full steam ahead mode + the world of work is something of an uncertain place to be currently.....we all received letters this weekend asking us to consider early redundancy.......(as IF!!??!!) + I've been seconded to a different dept to work on a big deal project, the mundane details of which I will not bore you with! Plus I am trying to sell our apartment to help with cash flow and maintain some level of marital bliss with my dear hubster that involves actually seeing one another in person, as opposed to existing solely in the world of BlackBerry + facebook!!

So, suffice it to say my head is in a whirl as I try + negotiate my life right now!

Funnily enough, in the old days, this level of busyness in my life would have meant that all things diet and exercise related went out the window. Fortunately though, I'm keeping up with my training + managing to eat healthily + on plan (apart from this weekend but R + I managed to have a date night soooo I ate what I wanted! French bistro......mmmmmmm!!!!)

I've got a week now to really be health driven so that I'll feel confident on stage. For the first time in ages I have no idea what I weigh, not having been to fat club for a few weeks! It's a weird feeling, not knowing, but frankly I don't have the head space right now even to consider it!

I've cut back on my pt sessions too, once every 3 weeks now. I'd love love love to go every week but time I'd ever a factor and the financial implication of £30 per week is just not sustainable.

So what is it that's keepin me busy?! Well.....let me tell you!!!!

Visit www.creationpt.com. Click on the tab entitled "therapy"......see any familiar faces?!

Yup! 'Tis me! Chris, my pt, suggested a while back that I take on some private clients of my own at his new studio. CBT fits really well with diet/weight loss + motivation to change stuff so it enhances the pt work going on by being a complementary therapy. I jumped at the chance to do some of my own work + because pt has made such a wonderful difference in my life, it seemed kind of right that I work out of creation. And how sound of chris to offer me this opportunity!!

So, I had my business cards + publicity produced, the new website went live this week AND I have had my first client!!! It is GREAT finally to be doing something I love but under really positive + life affirming circumstances! I am buzzing!!

Secondly, after the show is over, the weekend of 30-31 October, to be precise, I will be embarking upon my next step to eventually becoming wholly self employed.....yes peeps, I begin my training at

www.premierglobal.co.uk

Hahaha! That's right, I'm gonna be a pt!!!!! Who'd have thunk it??!! It's something that's been suggested to me several times, and you know what? I reeeeealllllly wanna do it! It's cost crazy ££££ but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I am so passionate about this aspect of my life, why shouldn't I make it part of my career?!

When I think about getting up every morning to go + train someone or see them for counselling, I am excited! When I think of my current job......er......not so much. So, on the basis that life is short + you only live once, I'm manifesting some major change in my life! How fabulous to be able to help others achieve what I have - a lifestyle of health-filled happiness!

So Oct 30th sees me embark upon my "Gym Instructor's" part of the course. By March 2011 I'll be qualified + ready to rock + roll!!!

Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Lovelove xxx
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***Service interrupted***

No blog post today folks. I am very busy having a horrendous migraine from the very pits of Hades. :-(

Normal service will resume soon......hopefully with a *very* exciting announcement! (No, I'm not bloody pregnant!)

Laterz xoxo
------------------

All synced up!

My life is imitating the blogosphere! What a coinkydink!!

This morning, as I do most Mondays, I got to the office early & got caught up on all the blog action from the weekend. One blog I read each & every day (unless she's on a blogging hiatus - lol ) is Charlotte.

A word in the title of today's post caught my eye.

TABATA

Where have I heard that recently? I thought to myself. No sooner had I thought that very sentence than was I assaulted right between the eyes with a vivid flashback of Friday evening - dizziness, flashing lights, tunnel vision, incredible sweating, elevated heart rate, puce coloured face. Traumatised I recalled the unholy terror that was Friday night's pt session.

TABATA.

Japanese for cruel + unusual punishment. Not really. I made that up. But it should be.

Yes, pals, on Friday I was introduced to the mad, mad world of Tabata intervals. Simply put, 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest. Save me retyping a definition, go read Charlotte's post all about it here and then read on!

I am always suspicious when I arrive at the studio and see Chris with a stop watch. It never turns out good. And always means hard work.

"Are you ready? Tabata!" - he said, all smiles and cheery disposition.

Having never heard the word before, I assumed he'd said "Are you ready to batter?"

Had I realised it was a 'thing', I'd have immediately demanded a full explanation. What can I say? I like to know what I am getting myself into, particularly when paying for the privilege.

As it was, I hopped unsuspectingly onto the treadmill to warm up with a quick 1k. What followed is something of a blur, but roughly included this:-

1. Lateral jumping side steps over the bosu. 20 seconds. 10 seconds rest. repeat. 8 times. With the added bonus of the last interval being 30 seconds.

2. Hammer curl to shoulder press. With 3kg dumbells. 20 seconds. 10 seconds rest. repeat 8 times. With the added bonus of the last rep being 30 seconds. (Getting the picture?)

3. MB sledgehammer. With 8kg kettlebell. 20 seconds....yadda yadda yadda.....

4. Fast step ups on a step.

5. Jumping over a cone. Fast.

6. On treadmill. 14kph run at a 2.5% incline for 20 secs, 10 secs rest walking at 6kph. 8 times.

7. MB pullover to crunch with medicine ball using rebounder to throw + catch MB.

Each exercise might sound pretty tame and do-able but try doing all that in the space of an hour whilst trying not to throw up. Or faint. Or both. De-light-ful.

Oh, did I mention that I was only allowed 1 lousy minutes' rest inbetween each exercise.

Nice.

That my friends, was my induction into the world of Tabata (my 'to batter' doesn't seem so stupid now, does it!!!!)

I swear my face has never been so red following exercise. Ever.

It was bloody good though! I worked flipping hard. I would never push myself that hard alone. I guess you should only try it though at a level that's reasonable for you and your level of fitness, or under instruction of a qualified professional because it is reeeeeallllly hard....

(I remain convinced that the 1.5lb loss this week happened entirely on Friday night - hahaha!)

Happy Monday dudes!

Love Lizzie xoxoxox

Weekend Weigh In *shocker*

Erm, so apparently I needn't have worried. I managed to lose 1.5lbs this week, which takes me to a grand total of 44lbs lost. WOOP! 9 stone 9.5lbs/ 135.5lbs/ 61.4kg. Not bad for birthday week!

A thoroughly undeserved but nonetheless entirely welcome loss. I blame Tabata. More on this later.

Lizzie xoxo

Sweaty Betty & LiLo spam

Hello friends

Thanks for all the reassuring comments after my freak out yesterday. Crisis averted. And thanks Sal for a timely, pointed, arse-kicking email. I do love you so.

I made it to the gym last night in time for combat & yoga after seeing my client. I had not done BodyPump as usual prior to Combat so I threw myself into the routine to warm myself up. So much so, in fact, that I sweated like an actual pig. You know how women are suppsoed to 'perspire'? Well I don't. I sweat. Like a man. As in clima cool top soaked right through-having to wear a head band at all times-if you sit on a gym mat you leave a bum print-trickling down your back and between your boobs kinda sweating.


And last night was no exception. In fact I sweated more than I usually do because I was so fresh (ironically given yesterday's post) and had more energy to expend.

And expend it I did. During the back kick/front kick combo I glanced down and noticed that I had sweated all over the floor around me. This transfixed me so that the next thing I knew I went A over T and had slipped over. In the gym. On my own sweat.

Can I get an ' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW' !!!

vile vile vile.

People just applauded. Apparently it's a sign of working hard. Good grief.

In other news, apparently Lindsay Lohan has been lurking on my blog and commented on yesterday's post (I have now deleted the comment) about all sorts of lovely drugs I can purchase to help combat my anxiety.

Who knew?


GOOD GRIEF!

Happy weekend! Weigh in tomorrow. Oh god.

lovelove xoxoxox

Anxiety

I feel stressed when my life gets in the way of my self-imposed routine + expectations.

I get a knot of anxiety in my chest that washes over me in a wave of panic whenever I think about how I haven't worked out or eaten right or how things have interrupted my usual routine.

For example, this week I have not yet worked out once. This past weekend I was busy with rehearsals, ditto Monday, Tuesday was my birthday + I had visitors and dinner out, yesterday I was exhausted + worked late so all I could do was lie on the sofa till bedtime, and eat beans on toast for dnner. With cheese on. And brown sauce. Winning combo in the comfort food stakes but not if you're trying to lose weight. I also had a craving for a Greggs' pastie + those of you who live in the UK will understand the magnitude of that statement....

Learning? When I'm tired + possibly a little overstretched, my willpower + discipline go out the window.

I can't even do my usual Thursday night gym blitz because I've got a new client to assess, which is awesome for business but leaves me back in that anxious state.

How have I gone from my dedicated self of last week to this?! Last week it was such a priority for me (largely driven by fear about the show, admittedly) + yet this week not so much.

Is it that I think I've got it covered? Have I relaxed given that my "Forum" costume fits? Apparently I've gained 5lbs since Saturday's triumphant weigh in. I realise this is not "fat" but rather the result of eating bread, birthday cake and pasta when ordinarily I would steer clear of them.

Why is it so difficult for me to move past this? Why can't I just chalk it up to experience + get back on plan? My anxiety leads to low mood which leads to demotivation coupled with tiredness which means I don't feeeeel like exercising, so I don't! So I feel guilty + more anxious. I can literally *see* the cycle written up on a whiteboard for a client! And thus we spiral outta control.

I know that being out of my "pattern" stresses me out. This is a remnant of eating disorder land + OCD + possibly just being a Virgo.(....either that or I actually AM on the Autistic Spectrum......). I know this. And yet it is this aspect of my life that I have the least control over. It sneaks up on me + surpises me. And it is especially humbling because I help people with these same issue for a living!!!!!

This hurdle - albeit fleeting + momentary- is bigger to me than any aspect of eating + exercise. And this is why ww and seeing a pt is (for me, + I would imagine many, many others) not enough. The psychological facet of it all is what I find most difficult + frustrating.

Life hey! Who knew I'd be such a nutjob!!!!????

Lovelove xoxox

------------------

Perspective

Today I am 32. GAH! Less said about that the better but what it has made me do is reflect a little.....

This time last year I was here - 165lbs (11 stone 11), as opposed to now, a year later at 137lbs. My birthday last year marked the beginning of starting to feel good about my health & fitness & weight again. I never would have imagined getting to where I'm at with all this healthy lifestyle stuff. I certainly never would have imagined my body looking how it does today or having the speed & strength & drive I've got now. Or being this active.

So I guess what today has done is made me appreciate just how far I have come in a relatively short while & how changes I have made have been for the better. Without question. Whilst I might be overly self-critical it does me good to take a step back and just realise.

Last year, I felt amaaaaaaazing on my birthday - this year totally different again.

Imagine what I'll be like at 40???!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Have a great day dudes

Love Lizzie xoxox

Guilt-ridden....

I did not work out one teeny tiny little bit over the weekend.

I did not have time AT ALL.

(I hate it when people say things like that.)

Worst part is, the horrendous guilt I am feeling. Not a good sign.....


L xo

Weekend Weigh In

Excuse me if this makes bob all sense. I am absolutely knackered, on the train on my way home from an extremely long, all- day rehearsal. Just thought I'd check in.....

Well friends, the hard work + discipline paid off + I am pleased to announce a 2.5lb loss. This takes me back to 9,11 (137lbs, 62.1kg) so YAY. And PHEW.

I also went back to pt on Friday and survived. It was quite a tame session compared to others I have experienced.....I think I am being lulled into a false sense of security! We did a lot of strength work + Chris was his usual blatantly honest self + said I looked slimmer. He also said I'd lost some "bulk" off my upper body, meaning I had been perhaps too toned? Anyhoo he was pleased that I hadn't lost the plot over the summer + I was glad I could still do a full session! All in all it was good to be back.

So here's to the coming week, keep on keeping on! That's what I'm gonna do!

Happy sunday evening folks!

Love lizzie xoxo
------------------

Thoughts on shorts.... *edited - pics added*

As you will no doubt have gleaned by now, I have a bit of a wonky self image. Mercifully it is lessening but I still have the occasional "wobble" and moments of panic and, so it would seem, some psychological barriers that will bloody well not shift!

One such barrier is, yep, you guessed it, wearing shorts.

I have never been a wearer of shorts. My legs as a kid were like Bambi's (earning me the delightful nickname "knots in cotton"- thanks dad!), when I was dancing they were ok but muscular. One ballet teacher even told me that my legs resembled a male dancer's legs, as opposed to a ballerina's. Nice.

I have this iconic picture of Rich + I in NYC the summer we were 18, posing with the famous skyline behind us. I am wearing shorts. I look bloody awful. And in my mind, that's how I look + will always look in a pair of shorts.

Fast forward to recent times. When I began working with Mr Motivata aka Chris the pt, one things he asked me was what goals did I have in mind? Hilariously, I now know he meant sommat like "to do a triathlon" or "run a 10k". My reply? Apparently with an entirely serious face, I earnestly replied "Jennifer Aniston's arms + Jessica Simpson's legs"

Nowadays. I run regularly and work on my pins a lot. They've slimmed down considerably, but in my mind's eye they are like tree trunks. As such, over the summer I could be seen regularly sweating like a pig (even more so than usual) on my runs, wearing running tights or the bare minimum of a pair of capris.

It got too ridiculous, so I set myself a behavioural challenge: to buy and wear to run in public a pair of running shorts. So, last time I shopped with my mummy + sister I took them to the Nike shop in Liverpool One for moral support + bought some gorgeous retro Nike purple clima cool running shorts. I love them. And I figure I can't see myself while I'm out running (I avoid looking @ shop windows for this express purpose) and I run at pace so people probably don't really notice. I'm fairly anonymous out there.So it's all ok. Hurrah! A triumph! I wore shorts!!

However, I did make a solemn vow NEVER EVER to wear them to the gym. Imagine! There's people I know there! And people scrutinise you there! (I know this because I do the same thing! What?! Don't pretend you don't do it too!! It whiles away hours on the treadmill!!!!! )

So, you can imagine my sheer delight when I got home early yesterday afternoon + decided to nip to the gym prior to my evening rehearsal, only to find every single pair of running leggings in the wash!!!!!

Nooooooooo!!!! #epiclaundryfail

Instead of panicking, the idea occurred to me to wear aforementioned purple shorts to the gym. Yikes!

So I did.

I noticed several things:-

* when I run, my legs do not look all flabby + cellulitey. I can see the muscles in them, all defined!

*when I do loaded lunges, same deal- you can actually see the muscle tone.

* and then, the "light bulb moment".....

BLOODY HELL MY LEGS *are* as honed + toned as Jessica Simpson's!!!!!! (Please understand I'm talkin' the Jessica of 'Dukes' era, not now- poor thing)

Now, all this might sound a bit odd to you, but there's such power in getting past a body hang up. At least I've found it to be so. It's a bit mad to realise that my bod has undergone such a transformation. - similar to when I was a bit mesmerised by my own arms during BodyPump class - my legs are usually covered so it was kinda weird to see them working!

*****************************

I wrote the above today sitting in a coffee house during lunchtime. It's now 11pm + I'm home after "Beast it Thursday" gym time.. After reflecting on my "shorts thoughts" today, I decided to go the whole hog + wore a pair of teeny tiny gym shorts to do yoga this evening. I was soooooo scared! I didn't want people to think "who's the fat girl in the gym wear" because irrespective of how I look, that is how I feeeeeeeel. So it was something of a challenge-to-self.

I bloody did it. AND furthermore, Sharon aka amazing yoga teacher came up to me in the middle of forward bend and told me my legs look great + if she had them she'd wear little shorts all day every day! Wowsa! What a compliment (she has an amaaaaaazing body!)

So all in all, shorts experiment = total success!

Hurrah for NSV's! That is defo mine for the week! Right now, I'm so jacked up on endorphins, I don't even care about the scale!!! (It'll wear off, don't worry- hahaha)

Right, I'm off to bed to have pre-pt nightmares.....more on that tomorrow!

Lovelove

Lizzie xoxo

The costume!

Yoga shorts!

Sneaky mid-week scale peek.....

.........suggests that the buggers have finally mooooooved! Downwards, I hasten to add! All of which is greatly pleasing. However, tis only Wednesday *sob* so there's plenty of work to be done. No slacking!!!!

Laterz

L xoxox
------------------

Those scales had better bloody well MOVE this week!

Or there will be trouble!!!!

Having got over my tantrum after weigh in on Saturday, I'm pleased to report quite an ok weekend. Put it this way, I didn't have to scrawl "write off" dramatically across my tracker in red pen in the manner of an angry teacher this weekend, as I *may* have done over the past six or seven.

Had a great workout Friday night, took Saturday off + ran yesterday + then did BodyPump 75 which is the new release here in the UK. Verdict? Shoulders + abs are great! Much harder than 74, but I'd have kept the lunge track from 74! Rest was all pretty much of a muchness. I find that now I know how to put my own weights programme together, BP doesn't cut it as much as it once did. But it is great for when I only have an hour to bob in + out of the gym.

This morning I was up early + legged it round my usual 5k route before work. I did this a lot last Autumn when I was busy in the evenings, so think I'll try + fit a few in on days when I can't work out in the evenings because of rehearsal. (Five weeks till the show- arrrrgh!!!!)

**************************


Oops! That's been sitting in my drafts file all day! Today is Tuesday. I am on fire!! Got home unexpectedly early- so instead of sitting on my a*se + watching yet more re-runs of Gilmore Girls, I donned my running gear + ran 3 laps of the village- four-ish miles. Yay me. And then off I went to rehearsal! First one in the theatre YIKES! Really reeeeealllly good to be back on stage + whilst I have major anxiety regarding my costume or lack thereof, I realise that I do feel pretty confident about my body these days- or more confident than I used to, at least.

Scales, however, aren't playing ball just yet. It's only Tuesday though.......on Friday I go back to see my pt. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzznuts! *scared*

If that's not an incentive to eat right + workout then I dunno what is!!!!!

Happy Tuesday peoples!

L xoxo
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Saturday Weigh-in

And the results are in.....

ONE LOUSY POUND

I am p*ssed off.

L xo
------------------

People don't notice you half as much as you imagine they do....

Check it. Conversation I had this evening at the gym.

Picture the scene: It was 7:30pm, I had done a BodyCombat class and a BodyPump class and was a big, sweaty, red-faced mess. This is my usual look around about this time on a Thursday. I was on my way out of the studio to change my revolting gym top for a nice fresh, dry, sweet-smelling one before heading back into the studio for yoga when one of the regulars stopped me. The conversation ensued thus:-

(Woman) "Oooh I thought of you on Sunday"

(I do not even know this woman's name, so this was a slightly odd convo opener!)

(Me) "Oh really?"

(Woman) "Yes, but I don't want to offend you"

(Me) "Er....ok....?" (Slightly panicked )

(Woman) "But I was watching Alan Carr Chatty Man on Sunday...."

(God-awful British chat show host)

."... And Katy Perry? was on it...."

(She said "Katy Perry?" like how you Americans speak, y'know, with a question mark at the end, as if gauging to see if I'd know who Katy Perry was)

"....And I said to my husband, there's a girl who goes to my yoga class who is the absolute spitting image of Katy Perry...."

Hahahahahahaha!!! She thinks I look like Katy Perry!

I was somewhat taken aback!!

(A) er hello.....AS IF

+

(B) WHAT a compliment! She is beautiful!!!!!!

{ (C) I tooooooootalllllly wish I had her boobs }

I assured random yoga woman that it was a huuuuge compliment, at least to my way of thinking, and got involved with sun salutation,

BUT

The exchange kinda got me thinking....pretty much proves the whole beauty-eye-beholder thang + further reinforces my point to self from a few days ago..

Which is

That what I see in the mirror is not what others see.

On the days when I have been feeling grotesque + gargantuan people have commented on how much weight I've lost. I forget that just because I'm scrutinising every little inch of my body and judging it and making mental (and, sadly, real) lists of improvements I wish to make, doesn't mean that everyone else pays such close attention.

In fact, people don't notice you half as much as you imagine they do. True story.

I am my own harshest critic. I am trying not to be.

.
Lots of love + happy Friday,

Katy Perry xoxox hahahaha!!!!
------------------

*Stop Press*

The grey pencil skirt that was super tight on Monday Sept 1st is now loose-fitting again. Go figure.

L Xoxo
------------------

I am almost certainly going to hell for this post.......

Last night I went to the gym.

I forgot my iPod so on the treadmill I resorted to people watching. I admired some people, learnt some new things, and thought constructively how I'd change what certain people were doing if I were a pt. (To the man doing ridiculously heavy chest presses WITH AN ARCHED BACK you are going to do yourself a mischief sunshine – engage that core and tense your abs…and whilst we're at it boys of gym world, please don't think we cant see you having a 'cabinet reshuffle' with one hand down your roomy gym keks…..because we CAN. And it's vile. So stop it. It'll still be there when you get home, play with it then. Good grief. Oh and ONE MORE THING! Pleeeeeease wear proper shoes rather than flipflops in the weight room you doofuses.)

*Ahem* Where was I?

Oh yes, on the treadmill, people watching………

And then I saw an actual pt working out alongside one of her clients. She had a t shirt that said 'Personal trainer' on the back. They were rowing together. She was hard to miss. And by that I don't mean she was a honed & toned gym bunny and all-round good advert for her profession. Oh no. She was, well….how can I put this?

Er…..chunky and flabby.

I was appalled. And also surprised by the strength of my reaction. Now I am appalled at MYSELF for being so bloody judgemental.

But I DID judge her. I wouldn't pay someone who looked like that my hard-earned cash to train me. HOW BAD IS THAT!!! I am a BAAAAAAAAAD person and clearly gonna get a karmic kick in the ass for it. But nonetheless, it's true.

I judged her immediately as a poor trainer because of her size, shape and the fact that she looked as if she'd never been near the gym.

It got me thinking, how important IS appearance when choosing a pt? When I met Chris I didn't think 'WHOA! He works out!' I just thought 'there's someone who looks fit and as if he knows his stuff and as if he can teach me a thing or three', but if I'd met this girl from last night, I'd have hightailed it out the door after the consultation & never looked back.

If the proof really IS in the pudding, then I guess appearance IS important. Kinda like when you pick a new hair stylist. I unashamedly pick one who has good hair. It seems to make sense. If they can look after their own 'do', they're gonna be respectful of mine! Equally with pt's, if they look like they take care of their own bods, I'm gonna trust them with mine. Simply put, I respect them. I

t's kind of the reaction I've been getting lately when I get chatting to gym people and I tell them my story – as if people can't imagine that I've ever had a problem with my weight, or wasn't always this fit – and once they discover that I've had to work for my success, a light of respect (acceptance??) comes into their eyes and I know I've got them 'on side'. Weird.

Anyhoo….. So, if you're still reading this, after discovering what a total judgemental b*tch I am, what do you think?

Would you reject a pt on the basis that they were a bit on the porky side?? Interesting, innit?

Laterz,

Lxoxo
------------------

Contrary

I've got Body Image Anxiety.

Haven't we all?! I hear you cry.

Well.

Let me explain what I mean. Last night I had a dance rehearsal for the show that I'm in. My costume is little more than an embellished bikini. I know. Insania. It got me thinking. I find it MENTAL that I am contemplating not only wearing said item, but also engaging in full on dance routines whilst wearing said item. On a stage. In front of people. People I know. HOLY Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiznuts! (as someone I love dearly would say!)

So, arguably, you might say that my self image has improved considerably since I got to goal, took control of my eating and my health, started working out etc etc. Because there's NO WAY IN HELL I ever would have considered wearing said item in said vicinity when I was 40 odd lbs heavier.

However.

It occurred to me, looking back through old (now hideous) pics of myself, that back then I genuinely thought that I looked ok. I mean, sure, I've never been 'beautiful' in the classic sense of the word, but I know how to dress for my shape, I'm good at clothes and I have my own style and whatnot. Plus my husband it damn hot so I figure I cant be totally fugly.....(er hello putting your self worth in other people/things alert!!!)

All joking aside, what I mean is, I genuinely did not see the unhealthy, flabby body before me. But never mind hey? At least now I have it all in perspective and can look objectively at my own reflection and be pleased with what Ive achieved.

Right?

WRONGO!!!!!!

I think, and here's the point of the post, that I have got WORSE instead of better!

I'm so much more self critical, forever "checking" in the mirror whether my stomach is flat, how toned my arms/back/shoulders/legs/stomach/ how sharp my profile is/is there a space under my ribs/whether I've got love handles/etc etc.

I torment myself with "things to work on next" itineraries and I am never happy with my image in pictures.....there's always something I'd change. I never USED to do this.. I never would pick holes in my appearance like this.

So why is this? What's changed? Is it that my "standards" of expectation I set myself are higher (in my eyes) now? Is it because I finally have a glimpse of just how athletic my body can be? Is it because I'm motivated or is it because I have gone over to the dark side.

Is this normal when you've lost a chunk of weight? I so want to be able to appreciate my body for what it is and what it can do, and how amazing it has become (is becoming? Always was?) not be all negative and self-critical all the time. I fully subscribe to the 'Be your own superhero' maxim but cant quite get past the self-scrutiny.

Thoughts?

L x

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Weekends are FAR too short.....

Monday? Again? Seriously?!

So, my weekend went a little like this:

Friday- was a total saint all day food wise, high-tailed it straight to
them gym where my legs begrudgingly took me through a fast 5k (well,
fast for me- 21 mins) and then did a super set weights circuit. Legged
it home and got ready to go to The Heywoods for my cousin Andy's
birthday gathering. All the rellies, my own dear husband included,
chowed down on that classic British staple of fish + chips, whereas I,
dear friends, took along a tuna super salad. Rather than taking the
mick, one of my aunts exclaimed how great it was that I was that "in the
zone" I didn't even WANT to eat what the others were eating.......and
the more I thought about, the more I realised how true that is. After a
successful week of being healthy, I didn't want to chuck it all away the
night before weigh in!

And weigh in? Well, I managed a stay-the-same at 10.5 stones (140.5lbs,
63.7kg) from the last time I weighed in, which is not bad going
considering what I've eaten + what I weighed at the beginning of the
week!! So I'm pretty pleased. Only 0.5 of a lb over goal, so my aim for
this week is to press on and see a nice 9 at the start of the scale @
weigh in this weekend! Should be do-able.......

Still wimping out of the pt though.....I'm like one of those ww members
who says they'll "return to meetings when I've lost a bit of weight".
Good grief. Sue's right in her lovely comment on my previous post - I do
need to go and face the music. Grrr....... I am DREADING getting on the
scales of doom - the ones that calculate bodyfat. GROSS.

Workout-wise I wussed out on Saturday, was just too tired (on account of
having stayed up till 2am the previous night - bloody idiot that I am!).
I did ride my bike to and from fat club thought but that was it on the
exercise for Saturday. I did, however, make up for it on Sunday. Sucked
it up and ran my first 10k for 8 weeks. 57mins, which SUCKS but I'll
take it. It can only get better. I absolutely loved it, though. And
typically, afterwards I wondered why on earth I'd been so reticent to do
it in the first place! WEIRD. After my run I had a little rest for a few
hours then hit the gym to do my own kick ass circuits in the weights
room. I got there at 5:15pm so could have done the 5:30pm BodyPump class
but I wanted (yes, WANTED) to challenge myself a little bit more so
spent a good 90 minutes doing circuits of tri-sets, completing 3 sets of
15 reps on each individual exercise. Sounds complicated, so let me give
you an example.

One arm tri-set that I did was on the ball, prone position. 1 set wide
rows with 5kg, 1 set tricep kickbacks with 4kg, 1 set rear delt fly with
4kg. Each set has 15 reps in, so I did wide rows, then triceps, then
rear delts, then began again with wide rows. I super-setted it so no
resting in between.

I alternated between arms, core, resistance, legs, abs to ensure an even
workout and worked a bit on my pull ups. I just felt like I got so much
more out of my workout than if I had done that Pump class. Don't get me
wrong, I love that class and it's great when you only have an hour to
whizz in and out of the gym, and can follow a bit mindlessly, but this
way I used my own knowledge and love of exercise to better equip my body
to deal with life. I'm so sore today but man it was worth it!

Eating-wise Saturday was not so good, but on the plus side I DID track
EVERYTHING! Saturday night we had pizza and x factor with a few beers,
but yesterday - oh yesterday! I got all 'Domestic Goddess' in my kitchen
and made (ww friendly) chicken Kiev for Rich and myself! Amazing what
you can do with good ol' Philly ! I also made chilli potato wedges and a
super salad. I measured a 175ml glass of Soave and snuggled up with the
hub to watch Transformers. Rich was rather impressed with his dinner and
did not believe it was a ww recipe! HAHAHA! I was most impressed with
myself - particularly because I was well within daily points for the
day, which means I am starting my week off on the right foot! Now bring
on that fat loss!!!!!!

Hope you're all having a great Monday and HELLO NEW FOLLOWERS!!! (Bloody
HELL I've got 104!!! :0)

Love Lizzie

Oh, and PS - what the chuff is labour day all about? Seriously!!

------------------

Friiiiiiday!

How come it feels like I've been back at work for eons despite being a 3 day week??!!! Next week will be hell!!

At least there's a weekend on the horizon! Anyone got any fun plans??

So last night I did a BodyPump class and followed it with BodyCombat. It's been a week since I did any kind of exercise (apart from a rather pathetic beach run whilst away) and MAN was it tough!!! I guess this is what I mean when I say I've lapsed somewhat with my training! It's been kind of a cumulative thing over a 2 month period. So last night was tough but this morning I've got that achey tiredness vibe that I've learnt to love because I know it means I've worked out! When I got in I was absolutely famished and had a mad craving for beans on toast- so I had them. Part of me felt bad because it means I've broken the no bread rule + gone over points, but mostly I just really, reeeeealllly wanted to eat them! I didn't put anything on the toast + I drained the sauce off the beans so it put me only a couple of points over my daily allowance of 18. I don't count my activity points either but I know from my HRM that a good 900 calories were burnt @ the gym so all in all I figure I'm ok.

That said, today I feel a little bit as if I'm wearing a fatsuit. I can feel more padding all over my bod and I really don't like it! I know others won't be able to tell but I can!! It's not nice having been so lean and toned so recently! Isn't it MAD !!!! At the gym I really got a good look at myself (er hello! Bloody mirrors EVERYWHERE!) and I can definitely tell I'm chunkier.

Still, the scale says that after just 2 days of being back on the vibe I've lost 4lbs! Haha yeh RIGHT!!!! But that puts me at 10,1 or 141lbs which is still only 1lb over my goal of 140 so it's not drastic from a scale perspective BUT I reckon my body fat % has gone up + lean muscle gone down. I'm so frustrated at myself!

I'm also avoiding my pt - he's been away for a month and I'm supposed to go tonight but I cannot bring myself to face the music! I know I need to man up but I'll feel so disappointed with myself. As if I've undone all my hard work!!

Arrrrrgggghhh!!!!

So apparently I'm having a wobbly day! Dammit.

L xoxo
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"Blasted water weight..."

Morning all!

So, I am pleased to declare Day 1 of "get your health groove back on" was a complete and utter success! Wahoop!! Stuck to 18 points and didn't give in and eat crap at 10pm when I got in from rehearsal! Had some porridge and went to bed.

Is it possible to feel thinner over night? Just one day of eating healthily + working out moderately (40 lengths, 23 mins) and I feel tremendous....or at least on the way to being. Mad. And accoring to the scales I've "lost" 3lbs since yesterday morning, which is obviosuly nonsense but gratifying and encouraging nonetheless....it's as if I've been instantly rewarded for good behaviour. Mad.

So with that, I'm off to have a great tuesday. - why don't you do the same!!

Toot toot!

Lizzie xoxo
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I'm FAMOUS!

Check me out here on Annabel's fabulous blog!!!! I didn't even know people read regulary! So THANK YOU to those of you that do!!!!

Seeing my own story (again) on someone else's blog, particularly someone like lovely Annabel who 'gets it' (and has a strange penchant for British accents) has really encouraged me to continue on this, frankly, mental journey I find myself on.

I PROMISE to post more often!!

Love and lessening

Lizzie xoxo

Day One Back on Plan

Very boring but necessary post:

Breakfast: 40g branflakes, skim milk and tea - 2 pts + 1 for milk.
Lunch: salad of celery, peppers, cucumber, red onion, cherry tomatoes, tuna with xlight mayo - 3pts
Latte 2pts
Go Ahead bar 3pts
Melon + strawberries. 2.5pts
3L water 0 pts

This takes me up to dinner time. I have a rehearsal at 7 so no time to gym so instead I will swim in my lunch break to get my exercise in. 40 lengths in 25 mins is the aim.

Weight: 10,5 3/8 OMG!!

Grey pencil skirt feels very verrrry tight. Error.

Onwards and,er, downwards.

Have a great 1st Sept!!

Love lizzie xoxo
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Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer...

......Sitting in the late afternoon blistering sunshine, surrounded by emerald green fields and clear blue sea, it's REALLY hard to care about an expanding waistline and atrophying muscles.....especially with an ice cold, local Welsh brewed organic pear cider in hand to wash down a bonafide seaside chippy dinner, after a day on the beach.

However.

Tomorrow it's back to reality.

Tomorrow I WILL care.

Tomorrow I will not look back and stress about what I could have (should have??) done differently.

No.


Tomorrow, I shall merely pick up where I left off on Friday. A week of healthy eating and working out will set my world to rights. I'll get back in control of my body and continue this journey. In no time at all I will feel on top of my game once more. This is learning. This is experience.

A new and (if honest) a slightly odd feeling.......but one I choose to embrace.

Happy end of summer, friends, and here's to the next chapter in all our lives, both collectively & individually......

Lizzie xoxox.
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So, that was summer?!

Dudes! It's almost September! I'm almost 32! Panic! Where on earth have the last 6 weeks gone? The nights are drawing in, the weather sucks (and has done for most of July & August), and the hubster is almost back to school. Summer is almost dunzo. And what have I got to show for it??

Hmmm.....

Well, what I've got to show for it is a 6lb gain. That's 1lb a week. That's almost half a stone. And I can definitely feel it, too. And not in any good places (ie boobs). Granted, I am still 1lb under my goal weight but I do like to err on the side of crazy, er..caution...and this 'thickness' I now feel and see in my body does not sit comfortably. In fact I am driving myself insane thinking about it. Obsess much?

The summer has been busy, socially speaking, which means I have relaxed somewhat in my ordinarily rigid rules. I am trying to see this as a good thing. I have seen people I wanted to see this summer, rather than missing out on events because I live in the gym.

But rather than dwell on the past and spend the next hour justifying my summer, I am going to look ahead!

The fact is, I have not 'undone' 18 months of hard work with a six week slackened schedule/eating plan. I will not suddenly gain back the 40-odd lbs Ive lost in a few weeks (unless I continue to bake Charlotte's deadly pb cookies that is (see picture) - seriously, try them BUT ONLY ONCE...amaaaaaaazing. In a 'crack' kinda way. Put white chocolate chips in too....seriously). I know what I need to do and how I need to live in order to pull it back over the next few weeks.

So, plans for the Autumn (that's 'Fall' US readers) are thus:

Begin tracking again. Nuff said.

Drink water - I've lost my diligence with the whole 3 litres a day thing

Clean eating - the processed foods have been creeping in again, albeit pointed and tracked but still, after being so careful I can really feel the difference.

Shake up the workouts - my exercise schedule has altered slightly from the 6 days a week full on beat it to an altogether more moderate plan, mostly to accommodate my latest project

Yes my friends, I am currently in rehearsals for another musical with West Kirby Light Opera Society! It's very exciting, bloody hard work but a reet ol' larf too. I play a Courtesan in the local brothel...I know...and as such will be wearing very little on stage. All the more reason for me to go bootcamp crazy on my ass!! We rehearse Monday/Wednesday/Sunday so it's playing havoc with my gym and running regime!

I think too that I am going to pull back on the pt sessions. Every week for 6 months has been awesome and I have loved every minute of it - even the throwing up post-circuits, the fatigue and the feeling like I have been run-over for 3 days after.....but it's not sustainable forever - neither financially nor realistically - I'm not in LA!! So I think I'll ask Chris for a programme I can do on my own and visit him once a month for a good ol' pasting. I know enough now that I can challenge myself in the weights room rather than relying solely on BodyPump classes. I also want to get back into running longer distances (10k +), I've not done a long run for aaaaaaaages.

So all in all I'm excited for September 1st. I'm away this weekend but once next Wednesday arrives I'm gonna be all about tracking, weighing, pointing, exercising and (dare I say it) BLOGGING!

So keep me accountable, ok?!


Looking forward to September!

lovelove xxxx

I suck at blogging.....

.......And, just lately, at staying on plan.

Back to basics I go.........

*sigh*

Lizzie xoxo
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In tribute...

Remember that horrible, awful, tragic day almost one year ago? I'm sure you do.

Couldn't we do something to commemorate the memory of Jen's mum? Shouldn't we? I'm thinking it should probably involve Oreos in some way. Her mum loved them. I sent this pic of me to Jen when we had our England vs. US football match party during the World Cup and it made her laugh. I think posting a pic of yourself on your blog with some Oreos over the weekend would be a good way to show solidarity with our dear friend Jen and all the Emmerts as they face the one year anniversary. We're with you Jen, we love you and we're so very grateful you're in our lives.

Much love,

Lizzie xoxo

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!

I cannot stop bloody EATING CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Weekend of excess.....

....Means a week of getting back into the healthy groove. As soon as I get to my office I will take some time to sit and plan out the week.

*No booze- daytime football matches are lethal! The beer starts flowing and before you know it it's 10pm and the 3 litres of water a day thing has thoroughly gone out the window!!

*No bread- BBQ's, however healthy, are always hard for me because I lurrrrrrve bread soooooo much! But a weekend of eating it with pretty much every meal has left me feeling huge, bloated, fat, stodgy and puffy. So let the detox begin!

*Water- at least 3 litres a day!! Annoyingly I cannot find the stopper for my bottle this morning, so it'll have to sit on my desk! I will buy a bottle for the gym tonight.

*Exercise- I want to get a workout in every day this week, be it a run or a class, this body needs activity. I feel lethargic and lazy but I know I'll feel so energised when I've moved more! I pretty much took the weekend off so I need to get back into it. I immediately feel better when I workout- it's like magic!

*Cheese is off the menu!! - it seems to have been creeping back in lately. Totally fine if I've counted, weighed and pointed....not so much if I haven't!!!!

*Meals-as clean as possible, no red meat, lots of fruit & veg, lean proteins and good and healthy fibre and carbs!

* Plan Count Track. Repeat ad infinitum!

*Stick to points- they're there for a REASON!

*Steer clear of cake.

So that's my plan......my body is craving healthy stuff!!!! I intend to comply.

Love, Lizzie xoxo
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Keep on Runnin'....

My current running playlist for inspiration, criticism and a good ol' larf at my expense no doubt! Hey, it works for me!!!

Artist/Title

Inna - Hot
Prodigy - World's on fire (in fact the entire Invaders must die album is bloody ace to run to, as is anything by Evil 9)
Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
Glee cast - Rehab
Florence and the Machine - Dog Days are Over
Roll Deep - Good Times
Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
Prodigy - Run with the Wolves
Ellie Goulding - Guns & Horses
Pendulum - Witchcraft
Sports Relief 2010 sports mix radio 1
Kelis - Acapella

Let the judgement commence!!! :-)

Lxoox

Freak of Nature

So yesterday was a good day - I ate splendidly well and healthily, England sucked considerably less at footy, I passed an assignment with flying colours, put together a business plan for a brand new opportunity I've been offered, caught up with my sister before she trolls off the the land of Glastonbury and leisurely ran 7 or so miles. After my shower, I stood in front of the mirror I was marvelling at how flat my stomach was. That sentence sounds weird but oh the HOURS I have spent in front of a mirror scrutinising my body. Yesterday I was amazed at the definition in my abs, think Britney in the Slave4u video (in my head at least LOL) and went to bed pretty much buzzing.

Today, par contre, a mere sleep later I am bloated, feeling decidedly rotund, fat, heavy and pretty much a walking carb! I am craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaving sandwiches and crisps and even stooped so low as to buy a Twirl before, which I woofed down and barely even tasted.

I am well aware that this is hormone induced and will pass but still it just astounds me! I know that what my body needs is to chug water, peppermint tea, eat a nice healthy meal later and to move - this is, after all, Thursday evening aka 'beast it' night - but I really feel inclined to go home (via the chippy and off license) and thoroughly surrender to my current hormone induced nonsensical attitude.

I am sooooooo loathe to blame feeling like this on my freaking period - especially when I spend my days challenging people NOT to give in to their hormones. is it REALLY hormones? I dont feel any less comitted tot he cause than yesterday, nothing happened over night to make me lose the plot, so the only thing I can think is it must be that.

Ah well. I'm off to lock the Oreos in my desk drawer.........

Lizzie xoxox

The Tyranny of the Scale......and other ramblings

So this week I apparently gained 6lbs. The week before I dropped 5lbs…allegedly…and was at my lowest weight (134lbs) since birth (slight exaggeration)

In short, I have no clue wtf the scales mean any more. This is something of an epiphany. I can tentatively say with a modicum of certainty that the scales have most certainly taken on less meaning in my life. I can *look* at myself now and objectively state that I am leaner, smaller, more toned and compact than I have ever been in my life. This, people, is about health and fitness. Not a figure on the scale.

Real life example? This past weekend I had a tremendous training session on Friday evening, we worked on strength and stamina (I say ‘we’, I mean ME – trainers ALWAYS use the royal ‘we’…makes you feel part of a team hahaha) and then-high tailed it round to a friend’s house to watch the (dire) football. I ate chips and dip, chilli, white basmati rice, dough balls and drank wine. I chose to – knowing it would impact my Saturday weigh in but wanting to hang out with my chums and have a bonza time. Previously I might not have gone at all, for fear of not seeing the figure I wanted to on the scale at the end of a week's point counting and tracking and weighing, but I did not want my life to be ruled by the prospect of a weigh in the following morning! Now I know that the temporary ‘carbed-up-to-the-eyeballs’ weight is just that – temporary. It’s not fat gain, not at all. So although I ‘gained’ 6lbs this week, for once I can actually hand-on-heart say that I am not bothered. The day after 'carb-gate' I was chugging the water, eating clean and fuelling my workouts which is as close to ‘normal’ food behaviour as I have ever come in my life. I ran 12 miles or so over the weekend and did a good weights session Sunday evening, rather than getting into the mindset of ‘Oh I’ve ruined it now, may as well not work out and troff my way through all kindsa crap’ mentality. I just hopped back on the healthy train....because I wanted to, not because I had to. This journey is ongoing and progressive, a permanent lifestyle change, not one governed by a weekly weigh in. For me, this is the shift from losing mode to maintenance mode. Whilst in the throes of losing weight I was driven by the Saturday weigh ins, and it kept me driven with my goal in mind. But now I have to alter my thinking and realise that my weight maintenance has to fit in with my life! So, my new challenge is NOT to get weighed each week, I am going to try a reverse graded exposure on myself, and begin with weighing in every other week and eventually weigh in once a month. That’s the plan at any rate…..I've been at or under my goal weight for 4 months now. Amazing.

My PT re measured my Metabolic Age and body fat and visceral fat etc a few weeks ago and long story short my body is now officially aged 16! WAHOOP! I’ve gained 6lbs of lean muscle and my body fat is 19% which is bloody brilliant!

I am still seeing my PT each week, it’s quite an adventure with some of the insane things he makes me do. He pushes me in ways I would never do for myself – and not just in the conventional sense of being able to do 30 consecutive push ups as opposed to 1, I mean other stuff too, like doing a training session OUTSIDE in my village for all the world to see – things that illustrate to me just how far I have come, how my attitude ahs changed, how my confidence has grown, how different I now am, how different I now look and how /who I want to be. I went running in freaking shorts and a tank top the other day for crying out loud! THAT was a MAAAAAJOR NSV. When I started training I said I wanted Jessica Simpson’s legs and Jennifer Aniston’s arms……stupid and vain I know, but it gave me a visual to work to…and you know what? I’m bloody well there! Or at least the ‘me’ version of those women. Having a PT has been psychologically beneficial as well as everything else!

I am absolutely LOVING learning to box, circuits still make me want to hurl and I detest the spin bike with a passion. However. I can now lift quite a considerable amount of weight, I can do full man push ups, I can run more than 6 miles, my arms look fabulous in a vest top, my back and shoulders and legs are defined, when I do my sun salutations or forward bends or folds there are no fat rolls getting in the way. I WILL be able to do an unassisted pull up one of these days and I shall probably be entering a triathlon in the not too distant future…..it’s GREAT!

The Sunday Times Style Magazine had an article a few weeks ago about how the ‘ideal’ body women pursue and aspire to is changing. Apparently the waif-like, skinny Minnie vibe is O-V-E-R and we’re all about the athletic, honed and toned physique which is indicative of a healthy lifestyle and holisitic approach rather than a do-or-die, murder yourself at the gym and eat nothing OR do-or-die, murder yourself at the gym and eat total crap but the calories you burn allow for it. Both equally disordered if you ask me!

I dunno if this new ‘ideal’ is true or indeed accurate or not (not least because their cover model, though smiley, suntanned and not emaciated, was flipping skinny to my eyes), or if it’s just spin and rhetoric to move the scrutiny over such publications onto something altogether more wholesome and positive BUT what appeals to me greatly about this is that it’s POSITIVE! It’s inclusive, attainable and there’s something in it for everyone! Every single person on this planet can make healthy adjustments to their life, everyone can work on an aspect of their body to improve its health and vitality. This is not an exclusive club to which only the super skinny and determined not to eat can belong! It’s also very personal, bespoke to the individual. How my body looks as a result of training is healthy for me and right for me, but wouldn’t necessarily be right for you. Similarly you might have a physique that I will never ever in my wildest dreams attain but my point is that the key is finding what works for YOU. I am so happy with where I am at and really proud of myself! I have crappy days like everyone does but ultimately because my health is improved (and by that I mean the broad spectrum of health – inside and out, mind and body) my LIFE is improved.

And what, my friends, can be more important than THAT?!

Out of the mouths of babes.....

So yesterday I went to see a young person I first worked with about 18 months ago. She is ASD and can therefore be relied upon to speak her mind (as can most young people, irrespective of educational additional needs!)

First words out of her mouth??

"You've changed!"

"In a good way?"I asked

"Yes", she replied.

"You used to be.....thicker....and wider......but now you're.......not........and your face was really round and your cheeks stuck out loads but now your face is thin."

Sometimes you just need to hear someone tell it like it is......

L Xoxo
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Click this link!

http://www.tonyclixby.com/web4/tunnel2010/index6.html

Scroll down and check out images 1591 – 1593......anyone you recognise?! ;)

Heh heh heh!

L xoxo
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FYI

I survived my run!! it was amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzing! promie I will update this weekend - mad week!

love Lizzie x

Checking in.....

3 things, I am rushing out the door to college....


1) I went with hubster to the beach on saturday afternoon - major heatwave over the weekend - awesome. I wore a bikini. In public, First time in a loooooonnnnng time. I felt....ok. As in not paranoid. As in comfortable. I swear I kept having to open my eyes and squint at my body just to check it was mine. Weird.

2) Thankfully the heat wave appears to be over in time for Sunday's Mersey tunnel 10k run! My first 10k race EVER! YIKES! I am both petrified and exhilarated.....check it out here

3) There's a website keeps me entertained NO END...and they posted my submission! You can read it here!

Have a great day lovelies xxxx

So far so good

This week I am adopting a 'Back to Basics' approach....I feel a little as if my eating and body are running away with me after 3 consecutive weekends of total unhealthiness and then the weeks in between spent trying to claw it back! I know myself sufficiently to realise that this will soon become a pattern if I am not careful and don't tend to it straight away!

So, yesterday I managed my 3L water, 3 proper, balanced, healthy meals, no alcohol, no cake, a swift 5k in between assignment writing (due Wednesday, not fun), no bread, stuck to points, got an early night and today I feel like I am back in control.

Maybe it really IS as simple as that?!

Lx

Back to Basics....

Today I will:-

Drink at least 3L of water

Eat only what I have written on my tracker, pointed, planned and prepared for and not a mouthful more

Work out

Not eat any bread

Not eat any cake, no matter how appealing

NO WINE TILL THE WEEKEND

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Last week was a trial to say the least. I am determined that this week will be better.

Here's hoping.....

A LOT can change in a year....

Remember this? A year ago today I wrote this. And do you know what? It's good to re-read it and remember. I am so proud of myself. And this week, where I have struggled with getting back into good and healthy habits (read 'stopping eating bloody CAKE') after my holiday-of-sorts, it kinda puts things in perspective and, I'll be honest' has pulled me back from the brink of slipping into workout madness in a bid to see a result on the scale this weekend. I cannot live my life like that! In perspective, this is my 3rd month of maintenance. All things considered, it's a jolly good place to be and I have worked HARD to get here. Unfortunately, the hard work ain't over, and as my good friend Jen often says - this healthy vibe is for the rest of our lives. For me this week it has meant trying to eat cleaner, prepare more meals from scratch instead of winging it, getting my workouts in order, and prioritising my health. Because at the end of the day, there's only me who can look after me....so I'm gonna.

Thought it was high time for an updated photo....hahaha. So here I am, ready for a crazy night out in Liverpool with my girls (the night we *should* have been flying out to Gran Canaria). We had a Pirate theme (long story). But it's good to compare this shot with the infamous 'green dress' shot!!

And one final thing before I go, make sure you visit Jack Sh*t for this inspired idea and email in your message!!!!! I've done mine and I am soooo looking forward to seeing what Jack does with our offerings! (Make sure to read the legal disclaimer - lol!)

Have a happy, healthy rest of the week compadres!

Love Lizzie xoxo